Religion and anxiety?

[sarah_85]

Hey, I started suffering with anxiety and panic attacks back in august this year, and have since been coping gradually day by day, having ups and downs but definitely having come a long way since the beginning. Have been having therapy and am under the doctor but I have a feeling I might know what was behind it all, and wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this.
Basically I started going to church with some friend at the beginning of the year, and became a christian in June. This was a wonderful thing and in no way do I regret that decision. But it has forced me to consider "the big picture" and it also has brought with it tonnes and tonnes of guilt for not being as good a person as I feel I should be, and compared to a lot of my friends who seem to be so Godly and perfect. My therapist has highlighted guilt and shame as as major issue for me, and while religion should be bringing me comfort and peace all it seems to be doing is freaking me out and making things worse. I mean maybe it's just a coincidence, maybe would have developed anxiety and panic anyway due to other things that have gone on in my life but I just don't know.
I hope this post doesn't upset or offend anybody. I just feel a little lost, and like I'm hanging onto my faith by the tiniest of thread and just wondered if it's possible that anyone else has been through something similar.
xxx

[daybyday]

I am a Christian. You can pm me if you like. And I have struggled with anxiety.

[Electric_Worry]

I am in no way a believer in organised religion, so it's difficult for me to relate on such a level, however your views of your friend's perfection or Godliness is purely down to perception. There is no true definition of a perfect Christian or indeed a perfect individual. We are all riddled with flaws, whether they're on display for others to see or not, it's part of what makes us human. Why are you caught up in their lives and what they have done? The truth is, the window you're peeking through only allows for a subjective look at their lives, with all the negative aspects or faults hidden away from view. How perfect you believe your friends are should be completely irrelevant. They're on a different path to you, whether they're part of the same faith or not. Everybody moves at different speeds, so rather than focussing on yourself, you're overly concerned of what others are doing are thus feel bad when you see yourself off the pace. You will be held back by what you consider guilt or shame until you actively seek to do something about it. You shouldn't measure your contribution to your faith or society by what your friends have done or are doing. I would say you're looking at the smaller picture as opposed to the bigger picture, because there is plenty of time to get your life back on track.

I apologize if this is not the kind of advice or view you were looking for, I just thought I would offer a quick reply.

[Chem]

When we turn to God and recognise Him, that is the start of a new chapter in our lives. He forgives us all we have done, but sometimes makes us reflect on things from the past so that we can learn from them. I went through an uncomfortable patch like this too. I learnt to thank God for literally "showing me the error of my ways" and gained comfort from knowing that He was teaching me so I would not err again in the same way.

Everyone's relationship with God is unique. No-one is perfect through human eyes, but to God you are special. He knows what you can be, so let Him guide you.

[RichW]

Hi Sarah

Ever hear of a little thing called Catholic guilt? I'm 100% with you in your plight. Here's hoping us sinners find peace...

Amen to that!


Rich

[blueangel]

I was bought up with Catholic guilt as well and had large doses of it during my childhood. My dad had me baptised into the Church of England, but my mother and grandmother were Catholics and they bought me up mostly as my dad died when I was very young.

Just to make matters worse, my grandmother had a lightning conversion into a very dodgy religious group when I was about 10 years old. As a result of this the guilt tactics turned into hellfire and damnation, which isn't a great thing to subject a 10-year old to.

I've wandered through a number of quite diverse religious paths in an effort to try and find something for myself, but these days I would describe myself as an atheist. This actually makes me very sad as maybe if I could believe in something, it would make me feel that there is a point to our existence.

[joannap]

it sounds as if it was a trigger for your anxiety/panic but that if it had not had been this - the something else may have been in the future.

it also sounds as if you suffer from low self esteem and that this is why you worry about what other people are doing and how it reflects on you. like other posters say - what does constitute godly? and perhaps others see you in this way and think badly of themselves lol? if god is a loving and caring god (and i would not be interested in any other type) then he is certainly not seeing if you measure up to the mark.

it is very scary when you look at the "bigger picture" - many people go through their life without even questioning such things and i have tied myself up in knots at times over the afterlife/religion etc. i am a psychic reader by profession and have had a lot of strange spiritual experiences and i drive myself bonkers trying to work out what is real/what may not be but at the end of the day - we will never really know and so it is important that if you have some kind of faith - that it is one that comforts you x

[paula lynne]

Hi Sarah, nice to meet you. x
Ive been studying the bible for 7 years. When I first began studying, I was welcomed with open arms, and told..."we love you no matter what"
Now its become a case of "we love you..IF you are like us". Because of my agoraphobia, they have isolated me further as Im not supposed to bother with "people in the world"...lost so many old and dear friends.
They found me when I was ill, and very vulnerable, and in some ways, helped me such a lot.
However, they dont seem to have any use for me, as I cant go out to spead the good news......
They are NOT perfect, these people you see by the way. No-one is.
As for being Godly...no...only God is Godly.
Im more isolated and lonley than Ive ever been. Because I cant attend meeting now, they have stopped sending me the tapes, people dont ring me anymore, and when they do visit, its usually a veil threat to get me back...
I had enough last month. God loves me despite my problems...and they have no right to judge me, or your friends to judge you.
I read the bible, and I pray. Im looking for my own relationship with God, and if I rely on HIM, I know I will find whats right for me.

If you feel like this, it cant be doing you any good really. Dont feel obliged to carry on, it seems to be compounding your feelings of guilt and shame about who you are.
That doesnt sound like a loving relationship, which is fundamental to Christian ideals.
Feel free to PM me anytime ok, youre not alone xx much love, P x

[boppers]

Hi Sarah,

I think this is very common, but it shouldn't be. One of the things we learn in Sunday school is that God loves all of us no matter what, and that God's love is so all-encompassing that it is hard to imagine. No matter how flawed you feel, God still loves you.

I know that is easier said that done, and it's easier for me to tell you that than to believe it myself, but I hope it helps.

:hugs: