friends wanted

[mick_uk]

Ex Anne Summers male modle. Likes whittling, crochet, Wrestling, breeding stick insects and playing the euphonium. Seeks short sighted female with own teeth.
Must have good sence of humour and enjoy visiting me in the secure wing at Dartmoor prison.
Age not important. Must have a pulse.

mick
cell 307, Secure Wing, dartmoor.

[lentils]

hiya mick come nextdoor im in cell 309 . lentils... :D

[nomorepanic]

:roflmao:

[mick_uk]

Could you turn the radio up in your cell lentils? Some of us are trying to dig a tunnel :D

[bottleblond]

pmfsl

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

[lentils]

sure thing mick any particular channel , did that bloke in cell 306 keep you awake last night wailing and scratching at the cell door what was all that about .lentils ...:D

[mick_uk]

Try and find one with some classical music on it lentils, bit of Rachmaninoff or Brahms.
The guy in 306 is called Lecter or something like that. I'm going to have a word with him later. He seems a nice chap.

[Carly Lou]

Lector secretly made me a stew in the kitchens... was pretty good, not sure what was in it tho.... oh and did you hear the person from cell 334 hasnt been since this morning ?:unsure:

lol xx

[bottleblond]

Mick please get back to your cell! what have i told you about wandering the corridors at this time of night?! tsk....

http://www.newlin-deschler.com/Pictures/dvorak/Sexy-Prison-Guard-small.jpg

[mick_uk]

Carly, I thought the stew was a bit chewy :scared15:

Lisa! I asked you not to show those pictures to anyone! I'll have to lock my cell door tonight now!

[bottleblond]

Least it got you back to your cell you naughty ickle poppet. Now please return warden MM's cuffs and turn that bloody music down. :lac:

[mick_uk]

:weep:

[bottleblond]

Awww ok you can keep the music and the cuffs! Warden will be round soon so have your supper request ready please!

[blue moon]

Warden Petra here with cat o nine tails,back to your cells,the gov is missing her pussy.......mmmm pussy stew.:blush:
Petra x

[mick_uk]

I get the feeling my plea for friends is not being taken seriously :D

[bottleblond]

:roflmao:

[KK77]

Pfffft. You accidentally lost your last friend in Morrisons Mick and I think there was something sinister about the whole thing...

BB - sort him out Old Maud will you...

http://www.anosyat.com/wp-content/uploads/old_woman.jpg

[lentils]

hello mick pheeew been in solidary confinment for playing radio to loud hows the tunnel going and that bloke in 306 sems to like chianti . lentils :D

[mick_uk]

The guy in cell 302 was a clairvoyant midget. He escaped last week and the local paper said "There's a small medium at large."

[lentils]

just been down to the prison library to get some books out and found out they put the prices up but only on poetry and philosophy when i asked why they said for no particular rhyme or reason ......... and the only copy of penthouse has been rented out to cell 307.... lentils :D

[mick_uk]

I only get Penthouse for their political analysis and financial supplements. :whistles:

By the way...... has warden Petra paid you a late night visit yet?

[lentils]

not yet she hasnt ,do you get vists lucky boy bloody govenors pet :D.lentils...

[missy007]

:roflmao:thats all :roflmao:

[lentils]

mick aint heard from you i take it the escape bid was sucessful :). lentils.....

[mick_uk]

Yeah it was, but I had a panic attack in the street outside, so I tunnelled back in :wacko:

The wing seems very quiet lately and Lecter seems to be getting fatter for some reason :shrug:

[lentils]

lecter has invited me to his cell for xmas dinner but i think i might be the dinner ???? have you finished with penthouse yet your hogging it , and i hope you aint done the crossword. lentils... :roflmao:

[mick_uk]

I was stuck on one clue from the crossword for ages.
The clue was : 5 letters, EGG ON
The answers was URGES
I had put TOAST

Yesterday my daughter (not the brightest girl in the world) sent me a lage file with a cake in it! :wacko:

[lentils]

newbie came in last night in cell 312 have you met them yet no one knows who it is , did you spill coffee on the magazine some pages stuck together .lentils...:yesyes:

[missy007]

:roflmao:Just stop it you two :roflmao:

[mick_uk]

lentils mate, the magazine was like that when i got it :whistles:

The bloke in cell 312 is in for impersonating a prison offcier. I havn't seen him since he came in :wacko:

missy, it's lonely in here, we have to advertise for friends :D

[gaaron]

I can't stop laughing!!

Hows the escape going? To be honest I wouldn't have anything to do with that Lecter fella -he's got funny braces :roflmao:

[mick_uk]

:roflmao:

the escapes not going too well gaaron. Lentils tunneled south instead of north and he came up in the prison canteen :wacko:
Lecter's okay. He's a bit tied up at the moment. :D

[missy007]

I'm am sorry guys but you two need BB(no e) to sort you out and I really hope she does'nt mind me saying that :unsure:

[lentils]

my compass was broken still at least i pleanty of food now wait there i will bring some back cavier ok maybe some champayne .lentils ...:)

[mick_uk]

I'm living on cheese and onion crisps in here pfffffft

[gaaron]

Well you've not made much progress since I've been asleep boys!
Cheese and onion crisps what are those? I'm living of the crumbs left in my breadbin :D

[mick_uk]

we dream of breadcrums

[lentils]

mmmmmmm breadcrumbs :ohmy:

[mick_uk]

They don't understand what it's like in here lentils do they!
they think it's a holiday camp just because we have redcoats and bingo every night. Its hell i tell you.

ps: when you've finished with the xbox let us have it

[lentils]

got the ps 3 tonight ,and i really need someone to plump me pillows up , dont know if i can take no more its a strain ... sinking ... lentils ..:ohmy:

[BlackKnightNoArmour]

And I thought I was insane, lol...

[gaaron]

Crumbs whats going on in there? Good job you're not in Pontins

[blue moon]

sounds like the detention camp on Christmas Island,where refugees go when enter Australia,CRUMS

[gaaron]

Mornin boys. Time to tidy up. All paraphenalia (?) to be confiscated as its suspected you've been abusing the system and red isn't your colour it clashes with the lentils.

[mick_uk]

:scared15:

that's an early morning wake up call!

You wont find anything in my cell. I have one of the lads in to clean it twice a week. Nice lad is Cyril.

[lentils]

yawn another day in this hell hole , hey mick what was all the noise from your cell last night oh no not another tunnel or have you got that mag out again ps ..garron i am definatly the brains of this operation dohh ..lentils :blush:

[mick_uk]

It's true, Lentil is in fact the brains behind the operation in here, but that isn't saying much, as the average IQ of us is 23, and half of them cheated on the test.
The penthouse is back in the Library now and I'm settling down to read some Dostoevsky. I hope there's pictures in it. :wacko:

[lentils]

average iq of 23 i dream of being iq 23 , and im settling down to read the beano . .lentils:)

[gaaron]

Ha, you thought I'd left you alone, no no no... I've been busy trying to contact Lady Penelope and I've found out that she has been 'taking notes from the underground' in order to sort you out with regards to dissing Brains. Beware if you don't behave yourselves punishment may not fit the crime, friends.

[gaaron]

Lady Penelope has given an interim report and states things are too dandy in there...