apricot
07-03-04, 14:34
Hi all,
I know I haven't posted and have been a bit distant for a while, but I am beginning to feel stronger and thought I would tell you about my day on Friday.
I have had a major setback recently but Friday I really pushed myself.
I went to my first CBT meeting, they could have come to me but I said no, confront it, and I went to them. Yes, I got into the car with my partner and on the way stopped for petrol! Then he couldn't get into the right lane, so we ended up going the long way to the therapist! We got there 25 minutes early and I sat, stomach churning, wanting to go home, waiting. And I did it!!!
Nothing runs smoothly with me - read on...
Went in and met the therapist who said lets go into this room, take a seat Nicola...I looked and saw bits of dirt over the floor and chairs...then noticed the glass, all over the place...You guessed it, some toe-rag had smashed the window. Funny thing was though, the therapost didn't notice! I did.
Well it went OK, and I have to go back every friday now. I then decided to go to my mother-in-laws house, which is about a 5 min drive from the centre...I did it! (I haven't been there for about 6 months) Then I said I wanted to go and see my partners nan (she is in a nursing home after having a major stroke), so we stopped off in a big Tesco's, got some muffins, milk, Bacon, and a lovely plant for my partners nan, payed for it, spoke to the cashier about dinners we liked and then left...I did it! We carried on to the nursing home (which I have never been to because of PA's) and we turned up right in the middle of them having lunch! I stayed for 1 and a half hours...I did it!!! and then I went to pick the kids up from school!
Although I did all this with Marc, with me it doesn't matter if I have someone with me or not...if I am gonna panic, I will panic!
So although I have had a really crap couple of weeks, I am beginning to do things again!
Take care all,
Nikki:)
Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.
I know I haven't posted and have been a bit distant for a while, but I am beginning to feel stronger and thought I would tell you about my day on Friday.
I have had a major setback recently but Friday I really pushed myself.
I went to my first CBT meeting, they could have come to me but I said no, confront it, and I went to them. Yes, I got into the car with my partner and on the way stopped for petrol! Then he couldn't get into the right lane, so we ended up going the long way to the therapist! We got there 25 minutes early and I sat, stomach churning, wanting to go home, waiting. And I did it!!!
Nothing runs smoothly with me - read on...
Went in and met the therapist who said lets go into this room, take a seat Nicola...I looked and saw bits of dirt over the floor and chairs...then noticed the glass, all over the place...You guessed it, some toe-rag had smashed the window. Funny thing was though, the therapost didn't notice! I did.
Well it went OK, and I have to go back every friday now. I then decided to go to my mother-in-laws house, which is about a 5 min drive from the centre...I did it! (I haven't been there for about 6 months) Then I said I wanted to go and see my partners nan (she is in a nursing home after having a major stroke), so we stopped off in a big Tesco's, got some muffins, milk, Bacon, and a lovely plant for my partners nan, payed for it, spoke to the cashier about dinners we liked and then left...I did it! We carried on to the nursing home (which I have never been to because of PA's) and we turned up right in the middle of them having lunch! I stayed for 1 and a half hours...I did it!!! and then I went to pick the kids up from school!
Although I did all this with Marc, with me it doesn't matter if I have someone with me or not...if I am gonna panic, I will panic!
So although I have had a really crap couple of weeks, I am beginning to do things again!
Take care all,
Nikki:)
Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.