Thought i was doing well !

[honeybee3939]

Hi just got back from a horrendous Morning,i have been feeling more positive about things lateley, last week was a bad week for me but after taking lots of advice from yourselves i started off this week feeling i was going to a have a good week, but unfortunatley this morning was the worst day of my life! I have just spent the last 2 hours in tears stranderd in my car affraid to come home. I set off for work( i only work about 2 mile away) ususally i get a lift but i thought i would give it a go as i was feeling positive, and planned if i didnt feel well soon after setting off i could turn the car round and come straight home, so thats what i did. i had no problems until i hit a set of road works with traffic lights, i felt fine and thought i could get through it, but then it started going dizzy, the panic wouldnt go away, i thought i was going to die!Of course nothing happened to me and the traffic lights changed to green, i set off and got through those traffic lights only to be greeted by another set of traffic lights that where at red again, by this time i was in complete fear, there was nowhere to pull over so i couldnt get out of the car, by this time i was loosing it big time !!!!i was in tears and just felt so trapped, eventually the traffic lights change, and i noticed another road work sign along the route i was taking so i just took a left turn only to be greeted by more road works and more traffic lights, that third set of lights did it !! i noticed nothing was comming the other way and im afraid i just went straight through a red light, i was so upset i just kept driving the car in tears, i drove about a mile up that road and then stopped, my next problem was how the hell am i going to get home, after 2 hours of sitting at the road side in tears in the middle of know where i managed to calm down and ring my cousin to come and pick me up. i have left my car at the roadside i feel as if i dont ever want to get in it ever again. !!

Im getting so fed up of trying, it upsets me so much, but i dont want to become housebound again i have to keep trying, im going to have to worry all day today wondering how i am going to get my car home from where it is abandonded.
Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Andrea
xxxx

[andrew england 2]

I am so sad to hear of ur troubles honeybee

I hope you manage to get the support to turn things round again

best wishes

andrew

[skye338]

Hiya

I know exactely how you feel I have been in situations like that as well when just the sight of a red light sends me into a panic.
Sweetheart you did well...dont let this set you back...if the lights hadnt been there Im sure you would of made it to work no problem...just try again once the road works have gone.
Well dont to you for trying...you did well...it was abrave attempt. Im still at the stage where I have to have someone in the car with me....so well done once again.
J x

[Alexandra]

Hi Andrea

Im so sorry that you have had a bad morning hun sending big (((((HUGS)))) to you.

Im glad your cousin was able to come & get you hun. Could your cousin come & pick you up from the house & take you to where your car is?
(Do this when your ready though hun) Rest for now you are safe & sound now & no harm can come to you okay.

(((ANDREA))) lots of hugs

Thinking of you

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[cray-long-legs]

Trying is the first step!!!!
It's great you've made it....don't let your failures conquer you!

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN

Goodluck and believe in yourself



xxcrazy-long-legsxx

[nomorepanic]

Andrea

I am not sure how much you have read about me and my one main issue and that is with driving and specifically roadworks, contra-flows, traffic jams etc.

You may want to read my story here on the website - Nicola's Personal Story (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=mystory)

I learnt coping techniques and some of these are ....

Whilst Driving:
You must distract your mind from feeling Panicky and frightened whilst driving as you may feel even more frightened as you're in control of a potentially dangerous piece of machinery. Here are a few coping techniques (believe me they work, no matter how mad they sound):

1) Add up number plates - look at the car in front and add up any numbers on the number plate, try to see what car number plate gives the highest score.

2) Select a colour and start counting the number of cars you can see in that colour.

3) Select a make of care and start counting how many cars of that make pass you.

4) Take the letters in a car number plate and work out an amusing phrase for it.

5) Sing! - put some music on and sing along. If you start singing you will automatically start to breathe correctly and it will also take your mind off the problem. This recently worked for me on a long drive and I started to feel panicky. I turned the music up and sang away - it worked!

6) Talk positively to yourself - e.g. "I've only driven shorter distances recently so it's Ok to feel nervous about this journey. I know I will be fine as I always am fine and the feelings of nervousness cannot harm me and always pass. I know I am a good, safe driver and will in time get to enjoy this journey. If I should feel faint, I know that these sensations will pass and that the sooner I relax , the sooner the faint feeling will pass."

7) Distract yourself and start planning a birthday party for XXXX , now who shall we invite, where shall we go, what games shall we play etc.

8) Plan what to spend a windfall on, DIY projects are all useful too. Ensure you need to think about the details of whatever you think about.

9) Talking books are great especially if you have a favourite subject/ author.

You may need to start this thought replacement long before your journey and may need to try several distraction options out before you find the one that works for you.

The one that worked best was a very loud CD and singing along to it as then your breathing will return to normal again.

I am currently having CBT to help me so that post is here ...

CBT therapy for driving problems - my diary (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7162)

It is really helping me get to grips with things.

Hope some of this is of help.

Oh and also I swear by Rescue Remedy and have some in the car with me at all times.

Nicola

[honeybee3939]

Hi Nicola

Thankyou for your kind reply, i myself have been having CBT i have my 12th and final session next tuesday, it as helped a little, i do manage to go to the shop now without going into panic, he as been trying to help me the last few weeks challange my driving fear as i feel if i can get over that i will be able to venture futhur afield, some of the things you have mentioned in your reply i have tried, but at the back of my mind the fear just wont go away, i have also tried sticking little pieces of paper on the dash board with liitle sayings on to remind me when im loosing it"Its all in my head" These are just thoughts i am having" "i am not going to pass out" "i am going to be fine" i have tried to make words out of number plates and count the colours of cars but for some reason none of this will stop the fear from getting through!.
I am going to concentrate on the new suggestions you have given me, i thank you for that, i have read your post and i think you have done absoloutley brilliant, it must have taken hell of alot of courage to do what you have done.Well done!
My car is finally parked at home now my husband went to collect it for me, i thankyou all for you encouragement i am not going to give in!! i will try agin tommorrow.

Thanks a million

Andrea

xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Andrea

Good news on the CBT. It is hard to cram every problem into a CBT session and I had mine specifically for driving so I could concentrate on that.

I think my breakthrough has come with changing my thoughts and that has been hard. I will try and pick out all the bits I did in CBT that helped me and do a post on them.

For me the one that worked was the little panic monster sat on my shoulder trying to undermine me and I could humour him and tell him to sod off.

This won't work for everyone of course but with practice you can gradually turn your fears around. It is hard work - I know that!

Before I started CBT my main coping techniques were - calling someone to take my mind of it, loud music and Rescue Remedy. Singing helped me cos then I remembered to breathe which helped the panic subside.

Glad you got the car back ok and don't let this knock you back ok?

Can you take someone with you soon to try it again so you are not alone? It helps to have reassurance in the car or on the end of a phone?

Good luck for tomorrow ok - will be thinking of you!

Nicola

[sal]

Hi Andrea

So sorry today has been so hard for you, dont forget you tried and you can again. I know you will be thinking how with how you feel at the moment but you got so far and will do that again.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[honeybee3939]

Since i wrote this last post, i feel as if i have gone even futhur downhill with the driving situation, i havent managed to drive to work in the car, i get to the end of the street and have to turn the car around as the panic is terrible, 2 weeks ago i was stranded in my car at the roadside for 2 hours it really set me back i even had a week off work to get over it. Over the last week i have only managed to get to work twice and that as been as a passenger in a car, i hate that journey now, its only a mile away is work but the 5 minutes i spend in road works and traffic lights are terrible, i just keep making excuses not to go to work. I have tried to think of other things, listen to music, count the colours of cars, make words with numberplates while i am in the car but the anxiety and panic just wont go away i must be doing something wrong. any more advice would be great.

Thankyou

Andrea
xxx

[wobily_lin]

OH ANDREA,

I'm so sorry u are having such a tough time at the moment. I been so caught up with my own.

You are doing and have done brilliant. It is tough hun as u know but u will get there again.

Be kind to yourself. don't beat urself up too much for not succeeding to drive. Small steps makes huge progress.

I don't drive myself so I cant give u any tips on that.

I am here for you twinny.

HUGE HUGS TO YOU BABE.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX

Lin,
xxx

[Spice]

So sorry to hear you are having a tough time.
Things will get better it all takes time so try and stay positive hun.

Take good care

Spice
xxx