Ashtonsmam
15-03-06, 13:36
Hi everyone,,i have just registered to this forum hoping i would be able to find some help and reasurrance,,,im going to tell you all how i have ended up with an anxiety disorder,a vomiting phobia and depression,,
i have always suffered from limited symptom panic attacks and 4 year ago i was prescribed seroxat which helped so much,,i found out i was pregnant in sep 04 so i had to wean myself of the seroxat which was difficult but i managed,,i had my son in may 05 and when he was 6 weeks old i decided to go back on the seroxat for my limited symptom panic attacks which was the worst mistake i have EVER made,,4 days on the seroxat and i started feeling VERY anxious i couldnt even go out the house,,then the 4th night was when it detroyed my life,,i had 3 of the most terrifying panic attacks i have ever had in my life,,after the last one subsided i felt very strange,,i was soooo dizzy, i couldnt hear properly,i couldnt see properly,my heart was thumping,and i wanted to kill myself and my baby!! i seen visions of myself hurting my baby and myself,,i could hear the screams as i had the visions,,i pleaded my boyfriend to take my baby upstairs with him and i was going to stay on the couch to sleep,,thinking i would get up in the morning and it would all be gone,,it wasnt!! it was only worse i couldnt touch my son or even look at him without wanting to kill him it was so scarey,,i still wanted to kill myself,,i couldnt understand how one day i was fine really loving my life and my son then the next wanting to hurt him and myself,,i thought about what i had done differently and all i could think of was the seroxat so i stopped taking it immediatly,,this feeling of wanting to kill people ans myself lasted about 3 weeks then that started to go away but the dizzyness and vision and hearing and depersonalization carried on,,i was put in contact with the crisis team and they were saying it was postnatal depression but i knew it wasnt i knew the seroxat had done this to me,,i ended up going into a mother and baby unit as i had a nervous breakdown,,i was to scared to touch my baby incase i still wanted to kill him and i started thinking everyone wouild be better off without me,,at the mother and baby unit i was put on lofepramine and it has helped with the depression but the anxiety is still bad,,i was discharged in november last year,,and since my discharge i have been told it sounds like the seroxat triggered a psychotic episode,,i was never treated for this and it went away by itself so thats how they know it was triggered by something and all i had taken was the seroxat,,so now im left with all of the symptoms of those terrifying panic attacks i had,,that was 8 months ago now,, i havent had another psychotic episode since,,so ive been left like this!! i dont know why i have all these symptoms and i dont know why they havent gone away,,i thought maybe the seroxat has done something to the chemicals in my brain and its just taking a while for them to get corrected or something.,,i have always had anxiety problems but never this bad until i took the seroxat,,
thanks for reading my story,,sorry it was so long[:I] leanne xx
i have always suffered from limited symptom panic attacks and 4 year ago i was prescribed seroxat which helped so much,,i found out i was pregnant in sep 04 so i had to wean myself of the seroxat which was difficult but i managed,,i had my son in may 05 and when he was 6 weeks old i decided to go back on the seroxat for my limited symptom panic attacks which was the worst mistake i have EVER made,,4 days on the seroxat and i started feeling VERY anxious i couldnt even go out the house,,then the 4th night was when it detroyed my life,,i had 3 of the most terrifying panic attacks i have ever had in my life,,after the last one subsided i felt very strange,,i was soooo dizzy, i couldnt hear properly,i couldnt see properly,my heart was thumping,and i wanted to kill myself and my baby!! i seen visions of myself hurting my baby and myself,,i could hear the screams as i had the visions,,i pleaded my boyfriend to take my baby upstairs with him and i was going to stay on the couch to sleep,,thinking i would get up in the morning and it would all be gone,,it wasnt!! it was only worse i couldnt touch my son or even look at him without wanting to kill him it was so scarey,,i still wanted to kill myself,,i couldnt understand how one day i was fine really loving my life and my son then the next wanting to hurt him and myself,,i thought about what i had done differently and all i could think of was the seroxat so i stopped taking it immediatly,,this feeling of wanting to kill people ans myself lasted about 3 weeks then that started to go away but the dizzyness and vision and hearing and depersonalization carried on,,i was put in contact with the crisis team and they were saying it was postnatal depression but i knew it wasnt i knew the seroxat had done this to me,,i ended up going into a mother and baby unit as i had a nervous breakdown,,i was to scared to touch my baby incase i still wanted to kill him and i started thinking everyone wouild be better off without me,,at the mother and baby unit i was put on lofepramine and it has helped with the depression but the anxiety is still bad,,i was discharged in november last year,,and since my discharge i have been told it sounds like the seroxat triggered a psychotic episode,,i was never treated for this and it went away by itself so thats how they know it was triggered by something and all i had taken was the seroxat,,so now im left with all of the symptoms of those terrifying panic attacks i had,,that was 8 months ago now,, i havent had another psychotic episode since,,so ive been left like this!! i dont know why i have all these symptoms and i dont know why they havent gone away,,i thought maybe the seroxat has done something to the chemicals in my brain and its just taking a while for them to get corrected or something.,,i have always had anxiety problems but never this bad until i took the seroxat,,
thanks for reading my story,,sorry it was so long[:I] leanne xx