Please... I really need help and advice :(

[Ayame]

I have been having panic attacks since high school and they made me drop out of college. Since last Thursday, I have been having them daily (but this has happened to me before).

Yesterday I starteda new job setup by the job center. Ever since the interview I have been freaking out, it's full time monday to friday and I feel like i've thrown myself in at the deep end rather than taking baby steps. This morning I didn't go in because of the attacks.

I want to do something a few days a week and not too many hours at first - to break myself in slowly to a working environment. Maybe volunterring. The problem is now that when I first signed on, I told them about my attacks and they said it wasn't a "valid health problem" so I think I won't be able to get any benefits now. All I want to do is break myself slowly into the working world first - by volunterring - because this full time thing I got made me practically have a breakdown :weep: I have never had a job before and I totally freaked out - I should have volunteered first so these things were easier :( Why didn't I take small steps...... now everyones going to be dissapointed in me again. :weep:
I also have to gather medical evidence and proof of my panic attacks to show to the benefits office and I don't know if what I do will be good enough for them. I can't live off fresh air :weep:

[xwildcatatheart]

I had same problem with college except I never went I got in but just couldn't handle going, I've had a volunteering job went over there liked it but when came to actually doing it I panicked and couldn't go. I cant get job because my panics and same problem with medical evidence they see you for like 10 minutes and in that time if your not having an attack then or like practically suicidal they say you are fit to work even though, doctors say other wise. i agree you should of taken baby steps, but hey all you wanted to do was beat the panics and get a job that's not a bad thing. Also for the people that say attacks aren't a valid health problem, I would like to see them try and live with them for even a day then they might change there mind. sorry I went on for ages.

[Ayame]

Thank you it's nice to hear someone else has had a similar experience, I too couldn't handle going to college in the end I never even got there, I would get near the building and have an attack.
I find it so unfair how mental health is not a valid reason. i have not even eaten today because i am so stressed about all of this.

[fairyclairy]

Hi Ayame,
Hang in there.. it does get easier!
I came out of uni straight into a full time (very stressful) job last october and I, like you, felt completely in the deep end and that i couldnt cope.... i managed 6 months of struggling, up to 10 panic attacks a day, not sleeping, mon-fri, at weekends id feel so ill because id been a mess for 5 days straight and by sunday i was panicking about it starting all over again in the morning.... looking back, i dont know how i got in to work at all!! I have a really REALLY supportive team around me at work, who all know about my panic attacks etc... i was fortunate to have the option to drop down to part-time and i can honestly say it was the best thing iv ever done... i was able to keep a job, as well as have some time to calm down and work on getting better!
I still have panic attacks, dont get me wrong, but i agree with your idea of doing something part-time first because it changed my life for the better xx

[xwildcatatheart]

yh i agree it should be a reason, i dont get why its not, omg u should eat something that wont help, ul jst feel ill.

[Ayame]

fairyclairy - thankyou. i'm glad it helped you and i think i'm going to try and find something part time instead even if it's just voluntary.

xwildcatatheart - thanks.. i did end up having a meal in the end and i feel abit better now.

hope you are both ok too.