full of dread

[ceecee]

hi everyone
i haven't been on here for some time,, with 2 teenage girls and a computer junkie husband, i never get a look in with the pc:mad:
i have had health anxiety (at times worse than others) but lately i've had such an over-whelming fear of the c-word and i'm so convinced that i'm going to get something really bad:weep:
i'm back to going to the doctors over every little thing....it's been mouth c,lip c, throat c (see i'm that bad i can't even write the word!!!)years ago it was a brain tumour,
does anyone ever feel sooooo convinced too that they are going to contract something???
i don't want to die and leave my girls i'm soooo scared at the mo but know i really need to get a grip:wacko:

[shaggyowen]

yeh i useto be like that all the time id google my symptoms for w.e and google being google tells you the worst thing that it could be its horrible, i can totaly see where your comeing from, youl be ok dw

[Diva]

Yes, feel the same as you all the time but... and here's where I seem to differ from most people who have HA, or at least on this site, in that I am too scared to go to the Dr. I just dread the thought of tests and more importantly, bad news.

My advice would be some counselling - have you ever tried? I'm on my 4th session and it's pulled up some interesting stuff that might be the cause of my HA (my HA is specifically the C word). It might help and it does kind of give you a positive feeling that you are doing something about it.

XX

[michellemoo]

Hi ya, My HA used to be about a brain tumour too. I had so many doctors and hospital appiontments because i felt so ill and i thought i had an un-diagnosed brain tumour. I was convinced that i was right and the doctors were not taking me seriously. My gp eventually sent me for a MRI scan which came back clear. At that point i was such a wreck that i went home and felt as if i was having a break down all my emotions came to the surface i was so relieved that i wasnt going to die. Since then which is over 10 years ago now, my HA is mainly concentrated on my heart although it has been other things like mouth cancer, stroke, lung cancer the list goes on but usually the heart.
My mum passed away 1 week ago aged 66 of pancreatic c****r, and my dad whos also 66 has terminal lung c****r so i feel im def gonna get it, im so scared of dying and leaving my kids, but sometimes i feel im living in such a suffocating anxious existence that i just want some peace........So after all this.....Yes! I know exactly how u feel ! :)

[ceecee]

thank you soooo much for all your replies :)
it really does help to know that we are not alone,
Michelle, i'm so sorry to hear of your loss:hugs:what a terrible time for you,and yet you still find time to comfort others .i can totally relate to how your HA makes you feel i could have wrote that myself!!!!
Shaggy i,m really going to really try not to google as all it does is stress me out even more!!!!
And Diva i have tried cbt and counselling before but i just don't know how all this started
thaks again i really appreciate it