I'm doing it.... I'm actually doing it!

[fairyclairy]

For some reason, over the last couple of months iv noticed a change in my panic attacks and anxieties... they have become less and iv felt stronger in myself - i dont know why or what iv done to make it easier, i think the main thing is accepting them!

I accept that i have panic attack and may struggle with things... but i also accept that i have to face them to get better.

Everytime i feel my heart rush, or my head rush, or a urge of adrenaline.. i ignore it.... totally ignore it! Sometimes i might say to myself 'its anxiety... i could worry about it but all iv have to do is go through a panic attack and whats the point in that because that doesnt do anything' ... so i just get on with things and i can honestly say it IS working!!

I dont want to jinx myself because im far from better.... but i noticed the other day that iv had so many things going on over the last few weeks - iv had days out and nights out planned, iv seen friends loads, i havnt made excuses not to go somewhere, i havnt been sick from work.... iv felt 'normal' ..... and it feels weird?! :blush:

I just wanted to write this to give someone or many people hope that it can feel and get easier..... as i said before, im no where near 'cured' or better but im feeling more in control of my life and im actually feeling like i have a life for a change!

Acceptance and facing your fears is the main thing you can do... i know its hard - i know where your heart suddenly skips, or you feel a rush in your body that you cant explain.. its terrifying, it really is.... but breathe, tell yourself YOU ARE FINE and get on with life....

Iv had these since i was 11 (im now 22) and il probably suffer from them to a degree for the rest of my life but after the thousands of panic attacks iv suffered, NOTHING has ever happened and im still alive :yesyes: xx

[ljd]

Hiya,

good for you and so pleased you can do fun things that you enjoy tc

[shaz14]

Well done! I'm really trying to do the same but finding it so difficult. Have you been on any meds at all?

[fairyclairy]

Thank you for your reples xx

Shaz14 - no iv not been on any meds throughout my 11 years of suffering with this.. when i was first diagnosed the doctor thought i was too young... but now, he wanted to put me on something when i was going through hell when i started my job etc but part of my anxieties is a huge vomit phobia, so i refused to take anything because of the side effects being nausea etc :blush:

I had councelling at 15 which didnt help and iv had CBT a few years ago which taught me i had to face them and stand up to them but iv never felt strong enough to do so, so iv just plodded along trying to keep strong by myself....

Something must have clicked over the last few months, life is way too short and i feel like iv wasted 11 years (most of my childhood) worrying and panicking and for what?! Because nothings happened.... all those worries and none of them came true! lol

As i said before, im not 'cured' but i feel strong enough now to face them, accept them and try and move on...

Keep strong, one day you'll wake up and something will be different and you'll feel strong enough to stand up to them x

[Going home]

So pleased for you Fairy, and always remember that fears don't go away completely for anybody...everybody lives with a fear of something, it just means accepting that and finding your own way of coping with it, and that's just what you seemed to be doing. Well done.

Best wishes
Anna xx :flowers:

[Jabz]

Acceptance is the road to recovery.

Something to keep in mind, you can't control fear (panic attacks), you can only control your response to fear. The more you try to control fear the worse it gets, the less you try to control it the less power it has over you. It's the paradox of anxiety.

[ladybird64]

Wonderful news Fairy :hugs:

I'm at a similar stage maybe a little further along the journey than you and it's great to see someone else who is coming through the other side.

It's so hard to believe that it can be done particularly when we feel so bad but it is possible..you have outlined the way to do it perfectly.

I hope you continue to go from strength to strength. :flowers:

[fairyclairy]

Thank you for your replies guys - I hope i havnt jinxed myself writing this thread lol because everytime in the past where iv said im getting better, i always had a bad turn so im always scared to say 'i actually feel alright today' .... after i say it, i always expect something bad to happen :blush:

But not anymore :)

You are soo right Jabz when you say 'the more you try to control fear the worse it gets' .... this was me all over - i got so incredibly frustrated and angry at myself for letting the attacks happen and having to struggle with things most people do everyday without hesitation..... i was trying to fight it, i hated it and i wanted to control it and stand up and fight it! But i was going about it all the wrong way....

After accepting my attacks and anxieties and just being more relaxed towards them.. iv just eased off and theyve got abit better to manage.
I expect to feel abit anxious in work and other public situations, and i allow myself to have panic attacks if i 'need one' and by doing this, theyve eased because iv thought 'whats the point?' .... i panic, feel horrendus, it dies down and im exhaused... but still, nothing actually happened, i didnt die, i didnt go insane, i didnt end up in hospital etc so i thought whats the point in putting myself through panic when nothing changes after it...... i just breathe and distract myself and carry on as normal and the symptoms ease and dont get into a full blown attack.

I hope everyone stays strong and continues to work through this because there is light at the end of the tunel..... i can see my spec of light at the end and im hoping itl get brighter as times goes on and i hope thatl be the same for you all too xx

[jothenurse]

You mentioned you had a vomit phobia. How did you ever get over that? I just panic when I get an upset stomach.

[fairyclairy]

Im not over that.... It has ruled my life for the past 11years! My phobia is still very very strong an noot sure it will ever go away but things have got easier with it.... I have the attitude now of.. 'so what if im sick.. I cant stop myself, if its going to happen it will' - dont get me wrong, that is very hard to make urself believe an i probably would still freak if i got ill or saw someone else vomit, but i was just talkin about my panic attacks an that theyre getting easier etc... Im jus trying to live my life and not let it control me as much an im trying to stop some of the 'behaviours' iv got into from my phobia, for example, sitting near an exit, sitting near a bin, drinkin water if i panic etc an it is working xx

[paula lynne]

Well done fairy, you faced it, and beat it! Im so happy for you xxxx:D

[missy007]

I agree wholeheartedly - well done hon and huge :bighug1:

[Thistooshallpass]

For some reason, over the last couple of months iv noticed a change in my panic attacks and anxieties... they have become less and iv felt stronger in myself - i dont know why or what iv done to make it easier, i think the main thing is accepting them!

I accept that i have panic attack and may struggle with things... but i also accept that i have to face them to get better.

Everytime i feel my heart rush, or my head rush, or a urge of adrenaline.. i ignore it.... totally ignore it! Sometimes i might say to myself 'its anxiety... i could worry about it but all iv have to do is go through a panic attack and whats the point in that because that doesnt do anything' ... so i just get on with things and i can honestly say it IS working!!

I dont want to jinx myself because im far from better.... but i noticed the other day that iv had so many things going on over the last few weeks - iv had days out and nights out planned, iv seen friends loads, i havnt made excuses not to go somewhere, i havnt been sick from work.... iv felt 'normal' ..... and it feels weird?! :blush:

I just wanted to write this to give someone or many people hope that it can feel and get easier..... as i said before, im no where near 'cured' or better but im feeling more in control of my life and im actually feeling like i have a life for a change!

Acceptance and facing your fears is the main thing you can do... i know its hard - i know where your heart suddenly skips, or you feel a rush in your body that you cant explain.. its terrifying, it really is.... but breathe, tell yourself YOU ARE FINE and get on with life....

Iv had these since i was 11 (im now 22) and il probably suffer from them to a degree for the rest of my life but after the thousands of panic attacks iv suffered, NOTHING has ever happened and im still alive :yesyes: xx

This is such a nice and positive post-good for you! Another story that demonstrates that if you face what you are worried about you can feel loads better x

[fairyclairy]

Thank you guys - this site has saved my life over the years and im grateful and appreciate every comment xx

[_ninefingers]

part of my anxieties is a huge vomit phobiaY'know, I never thought I'd join this site and within about two clicks find someone with the problem I had.

Firstly, really glad you're getting better. I don't think there's anything in this world like knowing you're improving. Hold on to it. Really. One of these days it might not even bother you at all.

As for vomit phobia itself, I actually took some medication. It's called cyclizine. It's an anti-histamine used post-op to stop people being sick as a result of anaesthetic. This means a few things:
* It is one drug whose side effects DON'T include nausea.
* It's an anti-histamine. People take these all the time, all their lives, so they aren't bad for you in any way.

It works. I used to feel so bad I nearly was sick. If I took one of these I'd feel the panic (the rush of adrenaline, being wired, on edge, sweating palms, trouble breathing or thinking straight) but not the sickness.

Three issues:
* As raised in the wikipedia article, that people use cyclizine with opiates, so Doctors are sometimes reluctant to prescribe them. That said, if you're anything me, you won't touch alcohol/drugs in case they make you sick!
* On the dose I was on you could only take three a day. Although having said that, the effect lasts quite a while - long enough to get me through a day at college, anyway.
* When you first start taking them, you might find them quite sleep-inducing. I did, I actually fell asleep in the car after I took the first one. I don't know if they're actually that sleep-inducing, but at the time I was majorly panicking and could relax when I took these, so for the first time I properly rested.

Just thought I'd share that with you because it worked for me.

Once again, really glad you're getting better. It can only head upwards from here. Good luck and keep going.

Little smiley icon for you, too.

[Ambers]

Can I say 'well done'... I haven't been on here for a while, mainly because I have done exactly the same as you. anyway...keep going, you are doing brilliant!

[fairyclairy]

Thanks everyone xx

Just shows how far iv come as i went to a party lastnight and i was the first the arrive and one of the last to leave! :) x

[willitstop]

well done you :)
im trying my hardest to do what you are doing but i just cant seem to accept them and not freak out when having a panic atack :scared15:.
long may your recovery last and enjoy your freedom xx

[Fly away Katie]

Your such an inspiration x

[Susanw]

:yesyes: Well done :yesyes:,,so nice to read this,,gives me hope
:hugs:,,Im doing fine myself,,but know it can come on fast,,,im now walking on the treadmill,,at 1mph as on crutches with my spine probs,,but im trying to get my brain into being healthy and normal,,,well done,xx

[fairyclairy]

Thank you everyone xx

Had a BAD one lastnight at my slimming world class and actually wrote a thread on here whilst i was there just to get reassurance.... i was gutted i wasnt handling it very well and needed the reassurance because i knew deep down it was just a panic attack... it just hit me and felt different but i stayed and continued with the class etc.. i know i have to put that behind me now and try and get back on track, just feeling very shaky and sensitive to panic today but il get back :) xx

[PokerFace]

Probs felt different cuz you've been feeling so good! When I had another panic attack after not having one for a while it drained me too. Don't worry about needing reassurance, was just a tiny blip! Good job for staying last night, you're doing really well. Like I said you're probably just a bit drained after last night and it will be gone by tomorrow!

Keep up the good work you're doing amazingly well! xx

[fairyclairy]

Thanks Emma - that makes alot of sense why it felt so different, i hadnt thought about that! Its put my mind at rest alot.

Iv made myself go out and see friends today and feel better for it, so im just putting yesterday behind me xx