may as well give up

[ljd]

ive just about had enough of everything me,life. Cant take much more one thing after another and im scared, having a rubbish time where im working at mo glad its ony temporary and cant wait for it to finish in may... Its so stressful studying and being on placement somewhere where you dont want to be where the team is falling apart...

I had to do a presetntation to the team today which was bad enough, then later in the day i found out that most of the team was talking about me behind my back (bitching basically) i was so upset, as to why did they not come to m and say anything and also were suppposed to be caring proffesionals in caring sector well what does that say!!!

I know they have done ti to other people in the team as have heard them, im there to learn not get involved in staff politics...

this is all i need great boost of confidence (not) when our job is to work with children and families and boost self etssm and confidence and support them.......

sorry im so fed up, tired and wondering if i am dong the right thing, feel like rubbsih just now and has sent me off on a downer!! doesnt take much..

maybe i should just give up cos whats the point anymore!!

[Dizz]

Hiya ljd

Sounds like you are having a naff time of it at the moment eh. Studying can be hard enough work on it's own let alone having to put up with a placement that you are not enjoying or where the other people seem to be being somewhat unfriendly towards the newbies.

Been there, done that and had to put up with the same type of people you mention and their already established little 'clicks' and groups in the workforce area and I felt like a complete outsider.

You know what though we all soon became good friends and I realised that they hadn't actually been intentionally nasty or ignored me at all.... it was just that I was new and they just didn't know me just as I didn't know them so we were simply strangers. Once we got to know each other a bit better it was fine.

Of course there were the odd ones who for whatever reason seemed to be awkward on puropse so rather than letting them get to me... I just used to imagine them sat on the works toilet with their pants round their ankles and not a toilet roll in sight.:blush::roflmao: Odd I know but it always used to make me smile and of course it confused them too as they just assumed that I was smiling at them because I was so friendly. They came round in the end but I never did tell them why I always smiled at them.:winks:

So what subject are you studying and how long have you been doing it for?

Do you enloy that or is it just the work placement and people that are getting you down? Maybe you could get a different placement if that's the problem.

BUT DON'T GIVE UP.... maybe change some things if that will help.

When I first joined here a few weeks back I posted a topic saying I had just hit Rock Bottom... well that's how it felt to me anyway... but you know what when you get to what you think is the lowest of the low there's only one way from there... and that is UP.... you just have to believe in it and not let anything get in your way or send you off track... especially things that start to niggle at you.

When you take a step back quite often the things in life that we all think are important or are giving us sleepless nights and worry are not actually that important at all:winks:

I'm sure things get much better for you soon... and remember about the toilet roll :winks::bighug1:

[ljd]

Hiya dizz

thanks so much for your words of encouragment lol at the toilet roll epsisode will bear that in mind.

Heres hoping things can be resolved before it gets out of hand cos i really cant take much more....

|Am studying social work, i work in childrens and families team in a la and they are paying for me to do my degree...

I enjoyed last year better than this, this year seems to daunting and so much work to do and doubting my abilites!! especially in this placement wish i was working where i used to be... oh wel at least its only til may if i can hang in there!!

Not sure if i have the energy or strength to carry on, maybe tomorrow will be a better day........... wish i could just not face the day tomorrow..

[Going home]

The key is that its temporary so when you've got through it you can move on and go on to do the job you want to do. There are people like this in every profession and women are worse than men, try not to let it get to you personally too much, I know its hard but they're not worth sliding into depression for. Take a deep breath every day and just do what you're there to do and sod them :secret:

Anna xx :)

[ljd]

Hiya going home its so true its in every team and yo uhave to rise above it but finding it hard and its set me back as usual taken it personally and cant shake it off.

[weeble40]

just wanted to give you a big hug Ljd, im not very good with words, but i know your doing a great job, and how hard it is were you work and what you do,

as my teenager daughter always says, tell the bitches to pull up a chair with the others and wait until you give a shate,

it always makes me smile xxxxxxxx

[ljd]

thanks you so much weeble means a lot to me that youve replied. lol at your daughter.

Guess i knew the signs and shouldve stopped myself from getting into this mess.
dreading tomorrow but ill have to face it, as no poiny putting my head in te sand (although wish i was a giraffe right now).

good to know how much support there is here for every one and thank you all tc

[Groundhog]

Hi ljd
Firstly well done you for getting on and doing it and shame on the folk who are doing their best to belittle you.
I’m a male who, in two of the part time jobs I do, works with females and sometimes I’m afraid you girls can be a pain in the a*&e There seems to be a constant tirade of bitchyness from certain members of the individual groups I work with and really it did not take long to realise they were simply jealous and felt threatened by other members of the group, I know this because as the only male they tell me everything. Also if I take the groups I work for as being the norm they more than likely bitch about each other behind respective backs – it’s simply insecurity.
I bet your presentation was good wasn’t it? And in a way you should be flattered they feel threatened.

[ljd]

Hi groundhog,

thanks for you reply means a lot. yeh people can be very bitchy behind each others backs. its so annoying, iknow everyone does it prob me to but i dont go round the whole team telling em things. i more discuss with someone whom i feel i can talk to and trust asking for advice on how to resolve something with the individual...

as for presentation i could of done better but thats a learning curve but main thing is i did it and got through it as i was so nervous...

Hope things are better for your tc

[rozie]

Hi Ljd,

It can't be easy in your work situation and sounds exhausting. My best advice would be the well worn adage: 'When in doubt, do nothing'. Wen you're confused and upset, just take a step back emotionally and give your mind a chance to settle down.

You yourself said you were fed up and tired. I've also learned another little trick over the years: HALT. This basically suggest that you should never make a decision if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I would imagine that after the day you've had, you might well be feeling all of these things.

I suspect you are well able for these people and that given some rest and a chance to recharge, you will see things more clearly. Be kind to yourself and keep us all posted of your progress.

Sending you good wishes
Rozie

[_ninefingers]

Hello

Y'know, I had to write myself a little agreement entitled "I will not give up here's why". I've posted copies of it all around my room where I'm likely to see it, cause I frequently feel that way. Don't. Keep fighting.

Secondly, regarding work. Bitching is bullying. You have a right to do your job without such nonsense. I suggest you write down every instance of such actions and where possible, find people prepared to be a witness to said acts. If they will make sure they'll come along with you when you want to present the situation to your boss. If not, consider that they may be stirring it themselves. Note that down too. When you have some evidence together (preferably before you leave), take it and if you want a colleague and definitely some witnesses to your boss and report it. If your boss is the problem (I've had that, it's horrible!) go to their boss and explain the situation, or to another person on their level. Also take it to your university, so they know what's going on. If they (the uni) tell you you have to lump it, see someone else. If that doesn't work, invoke their complaints procedure. Universities will do everything possible to protect their reputation because that's the currency they deal in.

It's actually incredibly difficult to tell your boss to get stuffed. I've had two bosses bully me (incidentally, both female, which amuses me somewhat) in the ways you describe. I finally took on my latest boss and it was the best thing I ever did. So there you go.

Unfortunately every organisation I've worked at has some level of staff politics in it. I really wish it weren't so. The trick is to not get involved, i.e. refuse to comment on other staff when it comes to the coffee machine/printer bitching or whatever and when it's aimed at you, make sure your rights are looked after.

Just remember one thing. The fact you dislike office politics probably means you are good at your job. If you need to knife someone in the back to get a promotion, you're probably not good at your job and need to re-think.

Oh and don't believe for one minute because you're a student that means you're not as good at your job as them. I did a YINI (www.yini.org.uk) and a couple of people did say to me often students were better at their job than full time staff. So there.

Keep it up, keep going, smile, do fun things.