I refuse to accept it's anxiety

[phil06]

Since my relapse in May I refuse to accept it's anxiety. I'm still convinced I've developed a serious illness and I'm battling in silence. I see a counsellor next week but not sure how they can help my thousands of issues.

I can kind of accept it's anxiety for a few hours then go back to worrying. I thought tonight I rarely go out as these feelings are that uncomfortable and it's not always fear of panic..quite complicated? I've accepted staying in comforts me.

I feel so ill and weird with this so called depersonalization. I had a bit of light at the end of the summer and it's as bad as ever again. I really can't accept it atall..the feeling unreal and going mad feeling is so uneasy..there's no way on earth I can accept it's not serious..I might for an hour or two but it all comes back to worry again.

I'm sorry but I've had so many symptoms over the months I really don't know what's wrong with me.. I feel I am living an impaired life as I don't feel upto doing anything until I feel well..which is not often. I read a post here tonight where someone said they don't feel like themselves anymore that's me..I duno where "me" has gone.. :shrug:

[suzy-sue]

Phil the reason you arent getting any better is because you have not accepted its down to Anxiety .Acceptance is the first step to recovery .I know its hard ,but it really is just that .Have you read any books on the subject ? Your continuous fear of it being something else ,is keeping it from getting better .You are caught up in vicious circle right now ..Take the first and hardest step ,and find the Acceptance you need to get well .Sue x

[jothenurse]

I've had feelings of unreality before and I know how scary they can be. But, the more you don't panic over them and the more busy you can be so that you distract yourself the better it will be. I know that is hard to do, but I find that now that I have pushed myself to do things, that I don't get them quite so much or quite so intense. When I do, I just try to continue doing what I'm doing and distract myself and try not to get panicky about it.

[Jabz]

i could've written this exact post 4 years ago...in fact i probably did, you can check my posts...

the more you worry about it being something serious, the worse it will get for you. What you have is anxiety, that's it. It's suppose to make you worry, so i guess its succeeding, the more it succeeds the more worried you get and the more it succeeds...you see the circle?

[Maj]

Phil, you have to accept or you will carry on down the same path of anxiety. Anxiety makes us believe allsorts, but if we lose the fear then we are on the way to recovery. All these thoughts and feelings you have are purely anxiety based and they cannot harm you. It's the anxious thought that makes you feel and think badly. You are not physically ill. Please try to accept this. Muster up as much acceptance as you can, don't question any new symptom, thought, feeling, etc. Accept it all, let the feeling wash over you and carry on with your daily life. Without a doubt recovery will come. Maybe not tomorrow, but I promise you it will come. x

[Jabz]

btw Phil, if there was something really wrong with you, you'd be in the hospital by now.

[phil06]

Phil the reason you arent getting any better is because you have not accepted its down to Anxiety .Acceptance is the first step to recovery .I know its hard ,but it really is just that .Have you read any books on the subject ? Your continuous fear of it being something else ,is keeping it from getting better .You are caught up in vicious circle right now ..Take the first and hardest step ,and find the Acceptance you need to get well .Sue x

I know.

I admit I googled tonight again but it was only a minor thing but I done it. I'm just worried I'm walking around undiagnosed as these symptoms can be crippling.

I've looked into acceptance but tonight my thoughts were fighting..I had lots of "it's just anxiety" and my head was banging, I started to feel anxious and just been dwelling on feeling poor like I do most nights..

It's like there's no way out. :lac:

[shaz14]

I completely understand how you are feeling. I've been feeling like it for ages that surely this can not all be anxiety?? But I've done lots of research and read lots of books and every one of my hundreds of symptoms can be put down to anxiety. It took me a long time to believe it though after many trips to my doctor for various "illnesses"

For example..for 2 years I've not being able to take a deep breath in and have had constant chest and back pain. I had convinced myself there was something wrong with my lungs. 3 doctors told me it was anxiety but I still couldn't trust them. It wasn't until I thought if I had something seriously wrong that I would have had more symptoms by now or maybe gotten worse that I realised it really is anxiety and since then the pain has eased up considerably. I have started to do this with all my other symptoms and surely enough have found that I'm starting to get control over the physical side of things.

Just my mind to work on now, the feelings of madness and panic attacks are proving to be more difficult to deal with! But I will persevere in convincing myself, what else have I got to lose other than letting this fear beat me...and I'm not prepared to do that.

I have read some of your other posts and can relate to most of them, you are not alone.

[blueangel]

I think some of the others have captured this really well; accepting the problem itself is very important. And yes, you ARE ill, but the illness is anxiety. It's as real as any other illness, and can do just as much damage, if not more, than some physical illnesses.

I remember reading an article on the BBC website a few weeks ago, where they had interviewed someone who in their life had suffered from both anxiety and cancer. They said anxiety was the worst one.

[Boxerharvey]

I too find it hard to accept that my symptoms all caused by anxiety but all I can do is try and trust the doctors. At the the moment im going through a really bad patch that has lasted about 6 weeks of head aches/pains and feeling on edge like im going to lose my mind and go mad any second. When im feeling ok or my symptoms are not too bad I can accept that is is just anxiety but when its is really bad and I feel like I could lose my mind or have a stroke/seizure any second I convince myself that anxiety cannot cause such horrendous feelings. Ive suffered for about 7 years now on and off so I suppose if I had any serious disease like parkinsons or something then I would be even worse by now. The brain fog I experiance sometimes is the hardest symptom to accept as when it kicks in I find it so hard to concentrate and do normal things as if my brain is slowly dying or as if im heavily sedated or something.

[phil06]

I should stay off google as I keep looking at tumour symptoms..

A few worrying quotes "you just know when something is not right" and "dropping things ect.."

This in the last week has seen me drop plates by accident..and I worry about coordination and almost have to run across the road when crossing because I feel so "dream" like..

Then headaches I've had a few of them another quote "some people get no symptoms and it's discovered when they go for a check up or something"

I've also had off balance, dizzy attacks...

All very worrying..so I'm pretty convinced I am ill now..:weep:

[phil06]

I'm not sure how to control this worry atall...I'm that obsessed I'm ready to go to the doctors..

I have symptoms and constant worry..I'm finding it hard to put into words what i'm going through..the usual depersonalization, dull weird vison...can feel the vein causing a slight headache...but my WORRY is alot stronger due to googling..I can't accept it..

Also finding it hard to distract..I just want to dwell on it..I've pretty much decided I'm housebound apart from work until I see my counsellor next week..yes I have gone a short walk but I'm not doing anything productive..I wish I could..but how I feel..I'm convinced I'm unwell.. :wacko: feel so miserable feeling this way.

[jessicalittler79]

PHIL PLEASE belive me when i say i have this so bad hun i cant live my everyday live its so hard iam always telling myself its not anx ive been like this for 6 months stright now ive had some relive but only for a couple days iam not sure what to do for it to go away its scarey i know ,i am forgetting alot of things my mind isnt ever clear :(life just seems so strange....only thing i can say is get ur mind off of it i know its hard ....good luck take care

[alicegreen]

Phil, I actually think that you should go and see your GP asap to discuss how bad you feel. Your thinking is boardering on obsessive, and it is very very hard to pull yourself out of it when every thought is so irrational.

This is exactly what I was like during the Summer, nothing that anybody said reassurred or comforted me.

I took a drug called olanzapine for a couple of months and it completely changed the way that I thought about things. The anxiety just disappeared because it was like someone had given me a new and more logical brain!

I really feel for you, but you will come through this. Please dont suffer any longer, get to that GP and ask for help.

xxx

[phil06]

Phil, I actually think that you should go and see your GP asap to discuss how bad you feel. Your thinking is boardering on obsessive, and it is very very hard to pull yourself out of it when every thought is so irrational.

This is exactly what I was like during the Summer, nothing that anybody said reassurred or comforted me.

I took a drug called olanzapine for a couple of months and it completely changed the way that I thought about things. The anxiety just disappeared because it was like someone had given me a new and more logical brain!

I really feel for you, but you will come through this. Please dont suffer any longer, get to that GP and ask for help.

xxx

Thanks.

Yes it's obesseive I suffer quite badly from OCD in general..cleaning, tidying, dates on food ect...

Last time I seen the GP there was more meds but I actually want to come off them totally I take propranalol. They told me a year wait for a counsoller but I'm seeing one next week £35 per hour. I've never had any of this since I was 18 or 19 which was 3 years ago.

Whether I need more meds or therapy I'm not sure..I've done the CBT books and relaxation with minor help. In the past I was awful with anxiety..I stuck to my propranolol and whilst going through therapy I still felt crap..it was only six months down the line I quit all meds and for a year and a half I was med free, suffering bad ocd mind you feel it's underlying..but I was going out in a relaxed frame of mind.

I feel all along I need a top up but I'm not in a financial position to pay form lots of therapy..but I guess I have released..due to recent stresses in my life a bit of support is required after 3 years..I admit alot of what I had learned had well faded or been forgotten due to so much worry.

I hope to try and told out to Tuesday see how I feel from the counselling..It's a big step as I've been told 50 times on here by people I could be using some help like that. I'm hoping maybe that personal approach can help me through it as books can be a bit dry and textbook and not tailored to my situation.

Finally..I am worried about my health alot but for 3 years I was terrified of manic depression coming back or getting it. After finding out I never really had it..in the last year I let go of that worry..so I realise it can go, but it can last aslong as I keep it going.

[phil06]

Another quick question..

Lately I've felt these attacks alot worse..when I feel I'm dying or going mad..actually at work the past few days I've struggled to put a shift in from overpowering worry..

I just feel rotten all day then I get these one hour spells I genuinely feel that's it..I've lost it...hard to explain..and eventually I just become uberly chilled and another attack starts 2 hours later.

Will it eventually make me lose it..go mad? die? :ohmy:

[Anxious_gal]

hey, Today I was calm, then I got the sensation, almost like every thing changed some how, at first I thought I was getting a migraine, I now realize I getting depersonalization and derealization, as I get these two symptoms very bad during a migraine attack, I get it so bad that my own voice does not sound like mine!
it lasted maybe half an hour then I was ok again.
I must say again that being tired really makes my anxiety and having weird thoughts and worrying I'll go crazy much worse.
None of us here have gone crazy from anxiety!!
we fear we will but none of us actually has.
defo keep a diary of your symptoms, I find writing down my thoughts can help calm me down.

[Del1970]

Hello Phil, I think we can all agree with feeling like this at one time or other, If i'm honest I went into total melt down only a couple of days ago about palapataions, dizziness and heart issues, I was really terrified to a point I was making everything feel worse and therefore convincing me I was really ill and going to die! I can't find the post that I read only yesterday on here but it has helped me enormously! It was all about the mind, what it can do and how powerful a thing it is! so what we think is wrong with us WILL feel like it is wrong with us but ten fold because of the anxiety - Well yesterday when the palps where coming and dizziness I said in my head IT'S ANXIETY do not panic and carry on, and do you know what!!, it started to go away and feeling a lot better than it did over the past few days, Accept your anxiety then try to control it instead of it controlling you, i'm a long long way off being me and better, BUT with determination I WILL get there and YOU can too.

Good luck !! and the Good luck is also to everyone!!

[phil06]

Look it's not anxiety!

It's too easy for people to sit here and say yes that's anxiety..I've been feeling ill for months..I've had advice some has helped..a week later I could feel ten times worse..so questions need to be asked?

Today I feel like a zombie in a foreign body..I feel I'm not functioning, processing, working properly...getting on with tasks is like feeling like I'm struggling..My mind is away :wacko:..when it's this tense nothing will relax it not even a 20 minute medication tape today..my eyes are still tense too

I duno what the heck is wrong with me but it's not normal to feel so terrible every day..so all I hear from doctors or forums is it's just anxiety..ur not living like this..it's not a little panic here and there it's chronic...hours of pain, worry, feeling like crap! :scared15:

Positive is..I've had better spells but serious questions need asked I've felt better, done a little to help and I get a day where it's worse than it's ever ever been..and I'm back to square one..anxiety is dictating my mind, who I am, my life and mood...does anybody with anxiety have a period where they feel "out of there mind" in a crazy way as a sensation?

what on earth do I do? :doh::ohmy:

[Jebdog]

Phil,

What does your doctor say? What treatment options have you discussed or indeed tried?

It's funny how you say it's not Anxiety (and don't get me wrong I sometimes doubt my own condition too) yet all on here have been able to relate to you?

Do you think you have got something that mimics Anxiety? Have all the people who have posted understanding your symptoms been misdiagnosed with Anxiety? I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here, but just realise that Anxiety comes in so many guises, symptoms and complications it's not an easy thing to put one description on.

Jeb.

[phil06]

Phil,

What does your doctor say? What treatment options have you discussed or indeed tried?

It's funny how you say it's not Anxiety (and don't get me wrong I sometimes doubt my own condition too) yet all on here have been able to relate to you?

Do you think you have got something that mimics Anxiety? Have all the people who have posted understanding your symptoms been misdiagnosed with Anxiety? I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here, but just realise that Anxiety comes in so many guises, symptoms and complications it's not an easy thing to put one description on.

Jeb.

When I went a few months ago they said it was anxiety. I've been on Diazepam for it but now propranolol again.

I duno if I can answer that question. Some days I think it's anxiety some days it gets that much I have health anxiety and fear being undiagnosed? :huh:

[Jebdog]

I can understand how your feeling mate, sometimes it would be great to just have an answer. You know step in a machine and it says 'Yep, Anxiety' but sadly we just aren't there.

You could go for an ECG or have other tests but the chances of finding anything are incredibly low. Plus i'm sure if the Doctor did fear something sinister at play he would have sent you for the test straight away. He may end up doing so to put your mind at rest who knows?

In the meantime, think about Therapy or Self Help courses as these are excellent for Health Anxiety. Also, maybe a medication such as an AD might help (Propranolol is helpful for physical symptoms but ADs may help more with the mental side of thing - negative self talk, misplaced beliefs and just giving your mood a general lift and easing the anxiety symptoms.)

[phil06]

In the meantime, think about Therapy or Self Help courses as these are excellent for Health Anxiety. Also, maybe a medication such as an AD might help (Propranolol is helpful for physical symptoms but ADs may help more with the mental side of thing - negative self talk, misplaced beliefs and just giving your mood a general lift and easing the anxiety symptoms.)

Thanks. I've had 2 sessions of therapy I'm paying private for it..but she says it takes six sessions so maybe there's still work to be done? I can't do much due to weather right now.

Really want to avoid going back to the doctors and anti d's. I gave up my driving test resit due to stress..thinking by now I'd be more calm but still I'm suffering..

I just feel alone and feel my anxiety is worse than everybody elses. :wacko:

[Dizz]

I 'Stress' the same as 'Anxiety' ?

Phil06 I can see where you are coming from as I still don't think I am suffering from stress or anxiety... but when I read all the other posts on here my symptoms are the same so maybe I am.

Same goes for 'Health Anxiety' is that the same as 'Stress' or 'Anxiety' or even 'Panic'.

Does one cause the other or do people start out with one which morphs into all of them at some time or another... again reading all the posts on here I find myself managing to fall into each category with the way I sometimes think or my feelings or symptoms.

I have had one telephone CBT pre-session.... I was told I do not sound like I have anxiety.... BUT I MAY BE STRESSED.

The two are different... but are they? as the symptoms seems the same.

From what you have said in all your posts Phil06 then I'd say you are like me... definately one, the other, or maybe a combination of a few bits of each

I'm sure that doens't help you in the slightest and I've lost my direction now and haven't a clue where all that was going :blush::roflmao:

[phil06]

Another thing I find hard to accept is say when I can't get out the house for whatever reason say weather..feeling really crap..so I maybe feel a little better with a walk but what about inactive days? Everybody has them? :ohmy:

I just keep worrying when I feel this way..drained and ill?:blush: