anger as anxiety ?

[munkeyinblack]

Hey everyone,

I was wondering if anyone has any experience of this?
As many of you know iv gone back to my parents for a while to recover from an operation. The problem is my dad, hes ill, just like me, but it comes out in a different way.

where i get anx and panic and cry and shake and hide away, my dad gets angry , lashes out and storms about in a big rage (please dont think i mean violent because hes never touched any one of us).

he has a very very short fuse and the tinest little thing sets him off and the whole house is in turmoil for hours which doesnt help my anx at the min and iv been put on betablockers because its starting to affect my heart rate..
does anyone have experience of dealing with this type of manifestation because nothing we try seems to be working, we just make it worse
thanks for reading
tc
munkey x

[Nigel]

Hi Munkey,

Hmm... anger and anxiety... :unsure:
I think they’re probably different.

I believe anger has a lot to do with feeling frustrated, and feelings of unfairness, and of losing something we value or having that (often unfairly) taken from us. Or feelings of having something – again often unfairly – imposed upon us against our will. An illness can often feel like that, even though anger probably isn’t the best way of dealing with it.

In one way I suppose anger and anxiety could almost be seen as opposites. The ‘fight or flight’ response’. Anxiety is more to do with avoidance – the ‘flight’ part – whereas anger is what makes a person stand and ‘fight’.

Hope you’re recovering OK from your operation, and I hope your dad is doing alright too.

Take care :)
Nigel

[Anxious_gal]

I would have thought depression since he gets angry , i do get angry if im anxious n people are bothering me , cause i want to be left alone

[Nigel H]

Anger and Anxiety are both negative emotions and can be dealt with swiftly.

Anger is an emotion in it's own right and speaks for itself .... whereas Anxiety is fear of the future.

Our mind builds a 'Gestalt' of events that share a common subject matter. So imagine it like a string of pearls - where the events containing the subject matter [such as the emotion of anger] are the pearls .... and the emotional impact/content is the string joining all the events together.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Each new event that makes us angry will add to the ones before it, so over time it can mean that only a relatively minor event can trigger a huge angry swing, since it's being added to the number of events prior to it, rather than the event being treated as a single event in it's own right. Imagine a single pearl, as opposed to another pearl making the necklace longer!

Instead of getting 'slightly' angry about a minor event that just occurred, he gets VERY angry with this small amount of new anger added to all the past angry events.

As Nigel suggested above - Anger is related to the fight or flight response. Anger is a secondary emotion that comes up AFTER the event. The natural response should be the fight part - to keep us safe .... then when we are away from it, the secondary emotion of Anger can surface. Too much anger will prevent the fight response working effectively though - and is bad for our health with increased stress response levels etc.

With the 'flight' response - the secondary emotion that arises is Fear .... once we are away from the situation, we realise we are now fearful of what occurred. Too much fear built up over time will prevent the flight response - so we can become 'frozen' with fear and have an inability to act with the correct response to a situation.

The best method I know to release this over-reaction (and your anxiety too) is Time Line Therapy(R) which allows you to have all the past negative emotions released swiftly and gives a really tangible effect.

You can get further background on this at www.timelinetherapy.net which is the website by the originator of this particular method - Tad James. Read the sections on Negative Emotions and Limiting Beliefs perhaps. you may find them useful.

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have!

Nig

[munkeyinblack]

thanks for the replies i will definatly look at that website as anything that helps at ths point is wrth a try

thanks
munkey
x

[BasilCat]

I have written about my dads anger on the thread about PTSD. He was just so angry and negative about life, everything and everyone in it. I put it down to possible PTSD rather than anxiety. Can't say much as I am on my mobile phone right now and its hard work typing out long messages on here. BasilCat

[Jabz]

I am of the belief that anger and anxiety are very much related, however anxiety maybe a side effect of anger...

how do i know? well i am very angry..internally. All my life i have been a very peaceful person, sort of a push-over, but i've been harboring a lot of anger inside of me, especially from my upbringing with a not so peaceful step father..if you know what i mean.

my therapist had suggested that my anxiety is the only way my body know's how to deal and release all of the anger within me.

this taught me a lesson, the anger might just be a side effect of a deeper problem, a personal problem. anger is just a response to a deeper emotional trigger, it would be beneficial if you can try and get to the bottom of it all, then you may know what the triggers are you can try work with that.

[munkeyinblack]

Hey Jabz and Basilcat,

Thanks for the replies its good to know that someone understands.

Jabz your post made alot of sense, knowin my dad its very likely this could be the problem, its just a shame that he is refusing to admit he has one!

Basilcat i will have a look at your thread, its hard trying to deal with your problems and someone elses as well. if u wanna talk about it further send me a pm anytime!

tc
munkey x