Please some advice about work & panic

[panicdiva]

Ok, here it is. If any of you read my bit on introduce yourself about 2 wks ago when I joined you will know this, but those of you who don't I will briefly tell you about my dilemma. I work as a Classroom Assistant, so you will know that I am working with kids. My anxiety & panic are not an issue at my job as luckily I am able to get out & about & I feel fine. I do not have to travel far to my work, so again this is not an issue. However, if & when very occassionaly I am asked to go on a school trip that involves going on the motorway, I find this difficult. Once, last June I was asked to go to the Dungeons in Edinburgh but said I could not face that - then I was asked to go to the Royal Highland Show in Edinburgh & I did manage that ok. 3 wks ago, I was asked to go to Transport Museum in Glasgow but felt that there was no way I could face it so asked head teacher if she could get someone else. She said that she wished she had known about this at the interview (16 months ago). I was devastated, to say the least & spent most of the day in the toilets crying because I felt so ashamed & embarrassed. I work at 3 schools - the school in question i go to on a Thurs & Fri, but she had called me at another school on the Wed. So, I phoned human resources to ask for advice because I was convinced that I was going to lose my job. She was most helpful & said that headteacher should not have said that, & that I would not lose my job. She said that I must ask Headteacher at my base school (school I am at on a Wed) to refer me to Occupational Health who would advise as what to do, ie: send a note to say I am exempt from school trips (which I really don't want because to me that would be like giving in) remember sometimes, depending on my frame of mind I can do it, or referring me to a psychologist. So, I had to tell Base School Head Teacher, but was again very upset. She said that she did not see it as a problem, class trips are few & far between, & there are plenty of others who can step in. However, she agreed to send referral to OH. Next again wk, she let me see letter before she sent it. She said in letter "I must emphasise that in no way does this problem effect Lynne doing her job performance on a daily basis." I was grateful for this. So, yesterday, I got a letter with my appointment scheduled for 5th April. Fine. My dilemma is this: On Tuesday, I went for an interview for another Classroom Assistant post which I really fancy. It is a pupil transition post (which means that I will help targeted P7 children who will find transition to S1 quite difficult) The person would work with them after Easter until summer hols in Primary school, then go with them in August to High School to help them as much as possible. I really fancied this post because I know that it will be a challenging worth while job. Well, I got the job!!!! I was delighted. However, now I am soooooo worried that this thing with OH may jeopordise my chances as I have only been offerred the job verbally, not officially until references etc come in. I have tried to call the women whom I will be seeing in April to ask her about it but I cannot get a hold of her. My husband thinks that there is no way that it will jeoprdise my job. But now I am also worried that the rector at High School who interviewed me along with 2 other head teachers will find out abouit it & have second thoughts about hiring me. I feel so stupid, because now I really am wishing that I had just kept my mouth shut!!!! I really wanted this job & when I went into the interview I thought if I am meant to get this I will - What do you think? Has anyone been through a similair situation? I look forward to your replies.

[mirry]

Hi ,

I am not a school assistant however I have been on school trips in the past with my daughters class, my daughter offered my services so you can imagine how horrified i was!
Any way I took a pill of diazepam and told the teacher that i get anxious when going out because im fighting agrophobia, she was so so nice about it and offered me to go on other trips after and if i got anxious she would allow me to leave the room for water and return when feeling calm. I think the head of your school should read this because her attitude is enough to make you feel much worse ,which you do not want.
It could be classed as discrimination in the work place , if i was you i would check out your rights on this.
Good luck you are not alone.

mirryx

[nomorepanic]

Hi there.

I had a similar situation when I was really acute with panic.

I was still working but part of my job was to go out and see customers and I told them there was no way I could face the driving and the being stuck somewhere and feeling so poorly.

They weren't especially pleased but they did make allowances for me and got other members of the team to do all the site visits.

They had to accept that I was not able (at that time) to do the visits and they had to bear with me till I got the confidence back (which I did).

If they had said they wanted to sack me I would have appealed against it and I am sure I would have won!

Things got better in time and things moved on and I started going back out but at the time they just had to bear with me and accept it.

Nicola

[panicdiva]

Thanks for advice Nicola. Having been offerred the chance to of this new job really boosted me - but today, I finally spoke to the women at OH. As I am waiting to be assessed, she said that she will have to wait & see. When I asked her if it would affect my chances of getting this job, she said that she could not guarantee that it would not. She said that even though the motorway part was only a small part of the job, she may have to advise them that I am unfit to go on the motorway but that they are giving me assistance ie: CBT therapy for instance. So then it will be upto the employer to make that decision. I said that I wished now that I had not bothered to call them because this could jeopordise my chances - the whole maddening thing is that school trips only happen 2 or 3 x a year!!! The only reason I called Human Resources in the 1st place 3 wks ago (did not have interview lined up then) was because I was worried about how HT at one school was treating this. Not only did she say that unhelpful comment - but 2 wks previously she came into our staff room to announce that she had booked a meal at restaurant for all the teachers & support staff to go for lunch on an in-service day. She was paying for it out of her budget. She said that if anyone could not make it please to let her know now. This restaurant involved going on a motorway to get to, albeit short ride on motorway. So, I just said that I did not want to go, was this ok? She said, infront of everyone, well no it's not really ok, this is about team building, but if you can't go, you can't go. One of the girls said why can't you go, I was put on the spot & did not want to get into it infront of everyone, I just said that I didn't want to go. So, a little later, I went into the HT's office. I told her that I was sorry, but that I get nervous going on the motorway - she said if you get nervous about that you should'nt be driving. I said that I was sorry, but I was not trying to be awkward. She said, half joking, half serious, yes you are, ha ha. So, 2 wks later she calls me at my other school to tell me I was going on this trip on the motorway the next day - even though she really could have asked anyone else. Then you know the rest, like what she said etc. As you know I was really upset, but part of me thinks that she might have asked me on purpose - knowing that I do get nervous (although to be fair, she only thought that it was when I drove). Anyway, I just was worried that she was going to make life difficult for me so called up Human Resources for advice & help. Now, I wish that I had kept my big mouth shut, because I may have jeopordised my chance at this new job. It will depend on how this new Manager thinks - if it was the HT & the school I am talking about, I would not get the job. The thing is, the offer was only verbal until my references, disclosure & questionnaire from OH comes through. So, nothing is official, so my guess is that there is a good chance that I won't be offerred the job. However, I will need to contact someone about legal advice because, as I said before, this does not effect my job performance in any other way. Will just have to wait until the appraisal with OH, & see what happens.

[nomorepanic]

Sorry to hear about all of this.

One thing that comes to mind is, is there another way to get places without the motorway? I used to go on the back roads all the time and although it was slower it got me there.

Also, perhaps you could look into why you hate the motorway and address those issues.

Can't remember if I have asked you this before or not but have you read my CBT post about driving problems?

Nicola