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rach182
12-11-10, 20:44
Hey guys,

I new here, I've just joined the site :)! I'm just looking for some general advice, over what I'm pretty sure was a panic attack...

About two weeks ago, I woke up feeling 'weird'. It was like I wasn't really in my body, even though I knew I was - I later discovered that it was 'de-personalisation'. I've felt like this before, only, never to the same extent. As the day wore on, I started feeling more and more anxious, because this weird feeling wasn't going away. That night, I went out with my boyfriend and I thought I was going to faint, I didn't feel like I was really there, I started panicking - it was horrible.
During the night, I kept thinking really horrible thoughts, such as 'why am I with my boyfriend? Do I really love him? Should I break up with him right now?'. On top of that, I got the sense of an impending 'doom' - like something really bad was going to happen to either him or me.
I couldn't sleep that night, and the next day, I could feel my heart beating really hard, I had a bitter taste in my mouth and I couldn't breathe properly. So, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and found this site , which seemed to explain what I was feeling perfectly!
However, it's two weeks on now, and for the first week after the attack, I could still feel my heart beating, and felt like I still couldn't breathe properly. I knew that if I calmed myself down, they would go away, and luckily, it seems a bit better now.

But I still have this really horrible taste in my mouth, a bit like when I do something wrong and I get a bitter taste because I feel guilty - does anyone else experience this?
Also, I'm now really paranoid about my relationship with my boyfriend. Two weeks ago, everything was perfect, but ever since the attack, I've been getting a weird feeling from him. I know I love him, and I want to be with him, but because I had those horrible thoughts about him, I can't seem to get them out of my head. Last week, everything seemed normal again - I could think clearly and I knew I wanted to spend my life with him. However, last night, the feelings suddenly returned, and I'm starting to panic again.

It's really starting to bother me. I can deal with the panic attack, because I kept telling myself it was going to pass, but the way I'm feeling about my boyfriend makes me want to cry. There's no reason at all for me to feel so anxious, as we get along fine and we haven't been arguing or anything, so I'm freaking myself out over why this has suddenly changed.

Can anyone offer any insight as to why this has happened? I visited my doctor (on an unrelated issue) and I mentioned the panic attack. He's put me in for a blood test to see if I have an over-active thyroid, as there wasn't any stress related problem that could've brought the attack on. He also told me 'not to worry' about it and to 'put it to the back of my mind' - but how can I? Especially since I don't know why it happened or when it will happen again!

Any advice would be gratefully received :) - and thank you for reading my huge rant!
xXx

bottleblond
12-11-10, 21:26
Hi hun and welcome to NMP

Anxiety can blow even the smallest thing out of proportion and if it's a new thing to you then i'm not surprised you are wondering what the ekk is going on.

I suppose even in the most loving relationship, we all have tiny little niggles or doubts that pop up on the odd occassion. It could have been something you thought a while ago that has suddenly jumped up for no reason and with the additional anxiety, it has left you feeling very scared and confused.

Best advice i could give you is, not to panic. See it for what it was and try not to concentrate on it. Kick it's ass hun and do not let it get a grip.
I am so glad you joined us and we will all help you as much as we can.

Lisa
x

rach182
12-11-10, 22:54
Thank you for much for your reply!

I feel a lot better simply talking about it :), hopefully, in time, these feelings will stop altogether - or at least, I'll be able to deal with them if I experience them again!

Once again, thank you :)!

xXx

sammi
12-11-10, 23:39
Welcome to NMP hun.

Sounds like panic attacks/anxiety.
You will get lots of support here. Xxx

Jabz
13-11-10, 04:19
You are over thinking it, perhaps something big is coming up in your life, that maybe giving you this stress and feeling of impending doom.

Nevertheless you are experiencing panic/anxiety, which btw sometimes can leave a weird taste in your mouth, nothing serious.

For right now the best advice I can give you is to try and not react to your worrisome thoughts, remember you have anxiety and that's it, just leave them alone, don't push them away, don't try to control them, don't fear them, just let them be and they will stop bothering you.

lajjj
13-11-10, 15:39
maybe you have associated the panic attack with your boyfriend because you was with him when it happened. we all have these scary thoughts because of anxiety. kind of like intrusive thoughts that upset us if you know deep down in your heart you love your boyfriend then you know these thoughts are not valid. anxiety can cause us to have strange thoughts all the time most dont make sense. hope you feel better soon xxx

rach182
14-11-10, 14:07
Thank you all so much for your support!

Hopefully I'll start to feel better about everything soon, but it's such a comfort to know that I can talk to other people who have been through the same thing :). It's really lifted a weight off my mind :).

Thank you!

xXx