sensitive

[mirry]

I have had a good morning, took daughter to school and went in Iceland and stood in que and purchased food..had slight flutters of the heart but got thru it . Then I came home and at the moment i am selling stuff off on ebay and got an email from a girl asking this ,

You said you would post item first class however you posted it second class even though i paid for first class.

Now this has really upset me, I am so sensitive and its made me feel really low. Maybe i want to please people too much, I should think oh so what but i find it amazing how my feelings can be upset so easily, i feel panicy now after such a great morning.

Does any one know why ?

mirryx

[Dan]

tell her youll pay the difference of about 10p and as long as the stuff got there ok i would try not to worry
i get very sensitive about things and then the anxiety takes over
glad to read you finally got dog mirry what did you get
lucky you im still hoping
Dan

[panicdiva]

You ask why, but I think you already answered it when you said that you want to always please people - I really think you hit the nail on the head when you said this because I also believe this to be true about myself. Whenever I think that I have something to annoy, upset, offend or irritate someone I always always take the blame - even though, not always but often, the other person has maybe not been as kind or understanding as they should have been. IF this sends you into panic & can ruin an already good day (well done at Iceland) then this is obviously an issue for you. Maybe, like me, and probably alot of others both on & off this site, need to work on loving yourself more and not always taking the blame. Alot of times an issue is actually the other person's problem & they take it out on you. For instance, maybe that girl had something bothering her - an issue nothing at all to do with post or ebay - then maybe she let a small thing like a 2nd post bother her more & took it out on you (she does'nt know you so that would be easier than taking it out on someone close to her). So, try not to let it bother you - your conscious is clear because at least you know she did receive item & you could refund difference as others said ....then really you have put yourself right & you have nothing more to reprimand yourself about.

[Trev]

Hi Mirry,

we all have very individual triggers made up from many things but it includes things like our belief system, values, etc.
This is why the same outside event will affect people in different ways because it is the way YOU interpret the same outside event that is critical.

You sound like you have a belief that you need to please everybody all of the time. The key thing is that you now recognise this fact. Once you have acknowledged the fact you can then deal with it, which is great.
Maybe you need to review your belief and value system to accept that you can't please all the people all the time.

Some people will abuse others desire to please all the time. Self esteem and assertiveness would be good areas to explore and find out as much as you can about.

The big thing to remember is that it is YOUR response so YOU can deal with it. It is within your control to change your value that says that it matters. Maybe this postage thing doesn't matter in the scheme of lifes events and the other person is being a ......... (insert you own description, but I know what I'd use!)??

Focus on the good events of your day.

Cheers,
Trev :D

[Alexandra]

Hi Mirry

Your not alone with your feelings hun. I can be sensative too & like Panicdiva said about taking the blame etc im like that as well sometimes

I hope you have sorted things out now & are having a nice afternoon.

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Paddington]

i agree with every one whole heartedly!i too am a people pleaser to the point that i get on my own nerves!!panicdiva could not have put it any better nor trev.We have to like and love ourselves mirry,or why should anyone else.if w donr feel worthu of respect people do take advantage,AND I AM GUNNA SROP THE CYCLE,so you do it too!as4 the postage tell heyou will give it charity!love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[pips]

Sorry about that Mirry.

I so understand how you feel hun. I to am a people pleaser and it does effect us if we feel people arn't happy with us. It can certainly effect our anxiety. Try not to worry. They are just being petty.

Here is a topic i done a while ago on oversensitivty.
[Link removed as post deleted]

Take care I hope you feel better soon.

Love PIP'S X X

[Piglet]

Whenever one of these kinda situations happens if you get time write it down and do another column of how you reacted and another for a sensible solution.

Situation - Sent something with different stamp on and lady annoyed.

Reaction - Upset cos I feel now I have done something wrong and not pleased someone.

Sensible reaction - (there could be lots of options here just choose the option you would like if it were you on the receiving end) 1. Aplogise and offer to adjust p+p on a further order.

Final thoughts - I cannot please all of the people all of the time and if I am operating on the do as I would be done by principle, then all is ok!!!!

Then throw away the piece of paper and thats the end of that :D:D:D

Piglet :D:D:D

[mirry]

some sensible advise on here,
i just love this site!

I offered her 70 p >>>>>>>>>
this was before i read your messages..............
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i did it again trying toO hard to please

OMG WHATS UP WITH ME LOL[:I]

mirryx

[panicdiva]

Your doing it again Mirry - being too hard on yourself. I think that you offerring her 70p shows what a decent person you are - hopefully it will make her ashamed of herself for moaning about such a petty thing. She had better give you positive feedback & not negative, not even neutral. If she does, make sure you complain!!!!

[Trev]

Change takes time, effort and practice, don't be hard on yourself. Treat it as a part of the learning curve. It's allowed you to look at the issue which is a good thing. :D

[mirry]

UPDATE
HAD EMAIL BACK FROM HER SAYING
ITS OK I UNDERSTAND !
AND DONT BOTHER POSTING THE 70P.

I REPLIED SAYING IF SHE WANTS TO BID ON ANY OF MY OTHER ITEMS I WOULD TAKE IT OFF.

HAPPY NOW:D

HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE EBAY ON HERE ? ITS A NICE WAY OF MAKING SOME PENNYS OUT OF JUNK FROM HOME (AWAY FROM PEOPLE).

mirryx

[panicdiva]

you can't say fairer than that!! Glad it worked out. I go on ebay often - l like buying stuff but not selling it.

[nomorepanic]

Mirry

Sometimes just a small gesture can help and you did that and that made her realise that you weren't intentionally ripping her off so she felt a bit mean then.

All sorted in the end - great news.

Nicola

[mirry]

yes all sorted now and ive managed to sell mobile phone charms that ive made out of rose quartz, I dont make much money but its something, by the time i buy the materials and pay ebay fees it all adds up.

Its my way of contributing towards the household!:D


mirryx

[Meg]

It may of course not have been to do with the money at all, but that she had expected it the next day in the 1st class post.

I've done that before , paid for 1st and got it second and it's not the pence but the time. Two things didn't get to me before I flew out to see friends and the presents hadn't reached me in time. Of course I should have been more organized !!


Just shows we all get miffed at different things and we don't always recognise the potential issues .

Glad it got resolved satisfactorially.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[mirry]

meg, I got feed back from her and it said ,
goods arrived very quicky ..........lol.

I dont think id cope in a busy workplace.

mirryx

[Alexandra]

Hi Mirry

I go on Ebay from time to time to buy not too sell.

Glad things got cleared up.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart