Hi

[jenmac]

Hi everyone, im new to the site

I have suffered with depression in the past and have had a few rough months which has made quite low but no way near as bad as before.

I first got depressed whilst i was abroad it took me a year to get over it properly and since i have a little phobia of going abroad.

over the last few years i have been away and been fine but a couple of months ago i went away and every day felt anxious for around half an hour resulting in me crying and feeling very low.

So here's my problem... im having good days and not so good days i wouldnt say depressed just low.

Im getting married abroad in 4 months - which i am looking forward to but obviously because i have had a few bad months im anxious about going and scared.

on one hand i feel fine and excited then there is the little demon at the back of my mind saying things like

'what if i have a panic attack before i get on the plane'
'what if i feel bad on my wedding day'
'what if i ruin my holiday'

etc etc etc :weep:

[Vixxy]

Hi there. I got married last year and was in the middle of a downward spiral with my anxiety. I actually chose not to have a honeymoon as I felt it was just too much for me. I do regret it, but I feel it was the right decision.
The wedding went by fairly easily. You'll get so caught up in it that you'll be ok.

[jenmac]

Hi Vixxy

Im hoping that this is the case, i do feel anxiety about going out sometimes and once im out im fine. So im hoping that i will be fine once i get there.

Was you anxious on the morning of your wedding?

[Groundhog]

Hi

I think any wedding can potentially be an anxious time – so much at stake. You don’t give any details about your wedding but I got married abroad about fifteen years ago in Mauritius. I was not struggling with anxiety then (or was I?) and I have to say it was the most stress free relaxing time I can remember. We did not take anyone with us in fact no one knew we were getting married. The hotel bent over backwards to make everything just so – we did nothing. On the day we spent the morning by the pool then had some lunch. My wife then went off to have her hair done while I went snorkelling. I had a shower and changed into my white tux while my wife got into her wedding dress. I then waited on the beach for her to arrive – absolutely stunning she was. We got married as the sun was just sinking on the horizon. We then sat lounging drinking cocktails with the folk who we had made friends with, about ten of us, while the restaurant staff shoved some tables together so we could all sit down and eat the special meal they had prepared as a surprise.

Other than the birth of my children it was without a doubt one of the most memorable days of my life, totally stress free and relaxing and if I had my time again nothing but nothing would convince me to have a big wedding.

Trust me you will be fine there is nothing to worry about, just enjoy it – I am seriously envious of you.

[jenmac]

Hi groundhog, im getting in Mauritius too! we have 11 family / friends coming too.

Its like 10% of the time im frightened and the remaining 90% im very excited. I think its a combo of nerves, excitement and anticipation

[paula lynne]

Hi, a belated welcome to you :welcome:Those "what if" questions are hard arent they. How about just going with the flow, 4 monthes seems a long time to wind yourself up. Turn it on its head...tell yourself its not anxiety..its excitement! When the little demon vioce starts..laugh at it..and tell it...Im going to be ok! I will have a wonderful day!...eventually the little voice will see its losing its power over you..and it will back down. You are stronger than the voice. Have a wonderful day, (shame I didnt know you before-Im a specialist in beautiful silk flowers, great for brides abroad) shamless self-promotion there by Paula! haha
You will be fine, try some relaxation tech, breathing, oils, self-talk, affermations, books, tapes...anything and everything.
You are going to be fine. Have faith in yourself love xxxxxxxxxx all the best xxxxxxx

[Groundhog]

Small world – if I was seriously envious before Im mega seriously envious now.:)
Of course 10% of you is apprehensive you would not be human if you were not.
In my younger days I worked in motorsport and travelled extensively and I can honestly say Mauritius is one of the most beautiful countries I have visited, beautiful country with wonderful people.
Trust me you will be fine and the experience will be effortless, savour every moment.

[jenmac]

Ha, sorry i made you envious! :) where did you stay in Mauritius? We are staying in the Grand Baie

I know its normal to feel apprehensive its just so irrational.

[Groundhog]

Hi
On the West coast near flic en flac (sp?)

I have so many happy memories of that holiday I could go on forever. Like the night I sneaked of to help mend the outboard motor on the dive boat so I could go scuba diving the next day , I told my wife I was going to play volley ball and when I got back to the room I was covered in oil and grease:whistles:

And a cruise on a catamaran – lying in the nets between the hulls being served ice cold beer, pulling into a deserted cove with undisturbed white sand beach and barbecuing fish that the crew had caught on the trip – fresh or what.:shades:
The only thing that took a couple of days to get used to was the relaxed pace of life. We would order a coffee and wonder why the bar man went off and did something else for ten minutes before getting our coffee, it’s what they do – it makes you wonder why we are surprised at why we get stressed and anxious....or perhaps not :)

[Vixxy]

Hi Vixxy

Im hoping that this is the case, i do feel anxiety about going out sometimes and once im out im fine. So im hoping that i will be fine once i get there.

Was you anxious on the morning of your wedding?

Weirdly I was strangely calm! Everyone kept asking me and my mum if we were nervous and we weren't. I spent the morning watching movies and on my own mainly. I didn't have all the bridesmaids at my house as I just wanted it to be peaceful and quiet.
The drive over there I was tense, and unable to joke about with the driver or my dad.
I don't think I had a single anxiety attack during the whole day! I was just tense and nervous all day.
I didn't enjoy it as much as I could of, but I did it and I was so proud of myself! As my husband said afterwards, he could tell how much I loved him because it was a struggle for me to do it. So by doing it, it proved i really did want to do it! Make sense? XD
Try to make your day as easy and fuss free as possible.