All in the mind :(

[rosebud]

I get this all the time from my family, it's all in your mind, you bring it on yourself. If i don't feel well noone takes me seriously. I was told by one kind relative what if your really ill one day no one will believe you !!!!! Frankly i feel like telling them to get lost but not so politely.
Just because we suffer from anxiety doesn't mean we are not genuinely ill sometimes. I'me just labelled as a drama queen and find it so frustrating and annoying !!!! Does anyone else get this ?

[bottleblond]

Those are some quite ancient attitudes Rosebud.

I am not surpised you are a tad angry because there is nothing more frustrating than going through all this and trying to explain to to people only to be hit with 'it's all in your head'!

Perhaps print off some literature from this site (the symptoms) section on the left hand side of the forum and present that to them. It may make them understand a little bit more about it.

Lisa
xx

[sammi]

Rosebud oh yeah I get this infact I get told exactly the same:) they don't know how we feel on a daily basis do they and if they did they wouldn't be so harsh. Of course we are really ill sometimes people probably won't believe us but we are. And hey nowt wrong with been a drama queen I'm a 1st class drama queen :yahoo: always here if you want a chat

[katielou80]

i GET told this ALL the time by my family and friends!!!!! its horrible, i think its because im ALWAYS on about my health and ALWAYS got something!! lol, just laugh babes!! xx

[blueangel]

Oh dear, this sort of attitude just doesn't help at all. My mother used to say similar things to me when I used to get anxious as a kid. Her opinion was that I had inherited it from my father (who I'm sure must have had HA, as my mother always reckoned that he was a hypochondriac) and that I just needed to get a grip.

Well, there are a few occasions when that approach does work - I'm quite happy to tell myself to get a grip sometimes! But - other people tend to pick the wrong time to say this sort of thing, unfortunately.

[Horse]

What most people fail to understand is that anxiety in itself is an illness. Most of us know it's all in the mind anyway but unfortunately, the symptoms are very very real! Sadly, it is the ignorance in people that prevents them from understanding this terrible suffering that we have to endure.

For example, as I am writing this I am sitting here feeling quite nauseas (as usual). I know it's all anxiety driven and is therefore all in the mind because I've been here so many times. But the fact is, I still feel nauseas whether it's in the mind or not!

Have your family ever stopped to consider there is also a reason why you suffer from anxiety? And also yes, of course we still get genuinly ill like everyone else occasionally!

[charliepanayi]

I get this from my Dad (who is a good man but just doesn't understand this stuff) and it's so infuriating, I usually just pretend I feel fine now in front of him to save on arguments!

[mandie]

I am seeing a therapist through the pathways to work department as i am on ESA benefit. She keeps saying to me remember its all in your head!! She said you can stop this if you remember its all in your head!!

She really not helping me by saying this to me everytime i see her :mad:

mandie x

[rosebud]

Thanks for all the replies folks glad to know i'me not the only one that gets this. Its so annoying but hey let them have there opinions. I bet i'me a stronger person than them, i've bloody well had to be to cope with everything i have done over the last few years xxx

[itoldyouiwasill]

I used to get this all the time as well and of course the irony is that they where right!

During my health anxiety days I loved nothing better than excusing myself of all my daily activities and chores and getting down to some serious moaning about all my medical ailments and symptoms…I used to be convinced that talking about it would make me feel better but it never did, it just served to dig me deeper into the hole and also piss off all those around me.

Before I was struck with health anxiety I found people who rattled off and moaned about their ailments incredibly annoying and boring to be around but in my own health anxiety haze I somehow expected people to be open, receptive and understanding to me when I did the same thing…whether it is talking about football 24/7 or rolling off the latest litany of our disease we should remember a bore is a bore is a bore!

Yep, how incredibly annoying when we give a lucid, florid, emotional and compelling explanation of our latest symptom set only to hear those dreaded words…

…”it’s all in your head”

Seriously, there have been occasions when I have flown into a blind rage with family members over this. It is really only with hindsight that I can see they where actually correct. The thing is when I say they where correct it wasn’t on the superficial level of the platitude spouted but it was upon deeper reflection and ultimately recovery that I came to see that it was my head and thinking that kept me in the health anxiety loop and gave the fuel to my symptoms. There is an old adage that states if we dwell and ruminate on something we literally give it power and ultimately life…this is the life-force of health anxiety and something we are all guilty of.

The boy who cried wolf scenario is a worry for any health anxiety sufferer and is a tricky obstacle to overcome once you make it into regression and recovery. For me, I am very lucky to have a GP who stuck with me through my health anxiety and who has now ‘signed’ an agreement with me that I am a normal person who has the same likelihood and odds of contracting cancer, ALS or multiple sclerosis as Joe Bloggs next door. Basically my GP knows I am a recovered health anxiety sufferer and also knows that I will live the rest of my days with elements of hypochondria and somatization disorder BUT he still treats me as a normal presenting patient and is happy to take the worry over my health from me…crucially, this is what we must allow our GP’s to do, it is what they are trained to do.

This is really quite a complex area of health anxiety as I often think we fail to see the damage we do to ourselves, our loved ones and our relationships by our constant need to give a narrative about our physical condition. I have a very strong theory about why we are compelled to do this which involves the craving for attention and validation as we are not getting this from other areas of our lives but I won’t waffle on about that as this will be longer than it already is.

I do think we often expect too much of people…we sort of expect them to understand, in actual fact we often demand that they understand but we totally fail to see they have no reference point for this disorder and therefore the whole situation just seems alien and often quite farcical to them. The more we try to bang home our point and stress just how it really is for us the further we take them from understanding and the closer we take them to frustration, boredom and very often anger. Health anxiety is a real killer for turning us into the most self obsessed, selfish, self absorbed, narcissistic, and ultimately boring individuals…to think that people want to hear our organ recital day in day out for whatever period of time is but another example of this. Don’t believe me? Ask your mum, wife, husband, kids etc etc heck, I bet even the dog has had enough!!

[itoldyouiwasill]

Apologies for the screwed up font above ^

Posting on the sly from work so had to write offline and paste....ho hum!

[suzannacorfu]

Hey Itoldyouiwasill!!
AWESOME post!!!! Just AWESOME!! I too am/was/am an HA sufferer and I agree wholeheartedly with you on every single point you have made. I also agree totally regarding your theory of attention and validation seeking. This is perhaps the toughest hurdle to recovery in HA sufferers.
Suz xxx

[itoldyouiwasill]

Cheers Suz....yep, I too agree this is a tough hurdle in order to move to recovery.

[paula lynne]

Me too, My mum used to say it when I first became ill...she should have know better...she was a mental health nurse! It wasnt till she saw my life actually fall apart and loose my career did she really begin to understand....shame.
My mum started having panic attacks herself about 2 years ago! My daughter started getting panic attacks about a year ago, aged just 19....:weep:

[joannap]

i actually do this to myself - i had an overactive thyroid and was so convinced it was my anxiety returning - it shocked me that it was a physical problem and that yes - i did have something wrong with me!

its very difficult to decide what is anxiety and what is not but i know with my thyroid that i started to get symptoms that i never had with anxiety such as throwing up etc but yes - i do find that you tend to get "labelled"! x

[ButterflyWings]

OMG @ mandie, does she have any mental health training? im very worried about that ,
my sister is soooooo confident she has no idea how we are so different when it comes to me being this way but she would never say that to me

[mandie]

OMG @ mandie, does she have any mental health training? im very worried about that ,
my sister is soooooo confident she has no idea how we are so different when it comes to me being this way but she would never say that to me

she the one supposed to help me back into work. She makes me feel bad when i see her :mad:

xx

[ButterflyWings]

do you feel she talks down to you , or as if shes talking to a child, "it all in your head sweetie, there are no monsters under the bed, its just your imagination " lol
i really do feel that a lot of folk think people like us have learning difficulties ,

i have a lot of hearing loss and when im speaking to people who dont know me and i explain that cant hear them because im a bit deaf, suprisingly a lot of them SPEAK....TO....ME....LIKE.....THIS. and then actually laugh,

[mandie]

do you feel she talks down to you , or as if shes talking to a child, "it all in your head sweetie, there are no monsters under the bed, its just your imagination " lol
i really do feel that a lot of folk think people like us have learning difficulties ,

i have a lot of hearing loss and when im speaking to people who dont know me and i explain that cant hear them because im a bit deaf, suprisingly a lot of them SPEAK....TO....ME....LIKE.....THIS. and then actually laugh,

yes thats exactly how i feel! i feel im 5 years old x