View Full Version : Still feeling I'm going mad or crazy
I still have this intense fear of going crazy. Tonight I've sat and almost been in a daze with some depersonalization convinced I'm mad. My fear is losing my mind and being put in hospital that's my worst case scenario I keep thinking.
I've been for some therapy and I know all my anxiety has become obsessive on it's own. Has anybody heard of anxiety becoming an OCD? I'm worried that this worry will make me go crazy..I just feel in a "worry state" gazing into space at times..I've had this alot over the last few months..
Is there any way to control this? :shrug:
I often get like you Phil trust me. I live day to day questioning life, the way I feel, why can't I be normal etc. And I've come to the conclusion this is part of who I am right now. Sone days are awful some are easy. Just play it as it comes.
Distract yourself and push yourself! It works.
I too have the same fear as you but just let it reside as a thought. Has it happened, no! Will it happen? Unlikely! You've got more chance of winning the lottery.
Chip up mate you're not alone on this one definitely!
Anxious_gal
17-11-10, 03:19
your not crazy because you fear it.
people with mental illness's are not very aware of it, and often wonder why people tell them they need to seek help.
it's a cycle, you worry about, over analyze it, create anxiety which creates the feeling of going crazy.
for me distraction helps, like talking to a friend, watching tv, walking, going outside, playing games.
i had a long post where i was freaking out cause i felt like i was losing my mind.
i had a brief episode of that feeling to day, its weird i seem to really fear that , the feeling of going crazy would never go away, it's quite scary, luckily for me my friend rang me for two hours and i forgot all about it.
i often refer to my relaxed states as me simply forgetting to be anxious or worry.
shaggyowen
17-11-10, 05:26
yeh im like that alot i found its good to just try ignor it and it subsides very quickly but dose come bk trying to fight wich i found out over the past week and im at the point where im fed up of it so its like i cant be botherd to worrie about it anymore lol dw mate youl be fine =]
Hi Phil / David
Are you taking any medication at all? I am feeling as you describe and have panic attacks all the time because I'm scared I am going mad. I am currently on Citalopram. How long have you been feeling like this?
Me too, it started in the summer but I thought it would subside, to be honest it's just getting worse. I spend whole days feeling like a different person.
Hi Phil / David
Are you taking any medication at all? I am feeling as you describe and have panic attacks all the time because I'm scared I am going mad. I am currently on Citalopram. How long have you been feeling like this?
I take propranalol. I did some research on Citolopram and it has some horrible side effects for some people so don't fancy that if I can avoid it.
I've felt this way for months due to my driving test failures I posted..when I took a break before the feeling eased. I had a horrible day today i did go into town but felt I was crazy, felt I was losing my mind..I wish the fear would go away a bit. I felt like all my body was nervey so I think maybe that's a cause and lack of sleep.. :huh:
You guys are definitely not alone.
For the last week, I have spent most days going through thoughts of anxiety and panic in my head. These thoughts cover topics like whether I am going mad, whether I will ever be able to lead a "normal" life like I used to in the past, whether I will end up in an insane asylum, and whether or not it is worth it to keep on living.
These thoughts seems to have a mind of their own and keep coming relentlessly. The most worrying thought about these thoughts is that they keep going ALL DAY long and barely ever stop (I have 2-3 periods in the day, lasting 5-10 minutes each, where I feel a little better and more in control, but not by much).
These thoughts are usually accompanied by a feeling of a pit in my stomach sending out a wave of heat/goose bumps through my body. At various points, I feel other symptoms such as derealization.
One other particularly strange symptom is that I feel like I don't know who/where I am as I am falling asleep/waking up.
I was previously treated for panic disorder and was on Zoloft for around two years. After a horrible first few months on the drug, my condition eventually got better and better until a point where it was no longer affecting my life more than once a week or so. It was at this point that I decided to taper off Zoloft and rely exclusively on alternative therapies that I has been using such as homeopathy. After a few months of being off Zoloft, all of the old symptoms started to come back, culminating in this last week of hell.
Getting through this week has been an amazing journey. I was in London (pursuing my MA) when the shit started to hit the fan. I made a decision to come back to India (my home) and try and beat this monster once and for all. I have a very supportive family here as well as Doctors that both listen and care. I am meeting with a psychiatrist tomorrow that a friend of mine gave a glowing recommendation to. The day after that, I am meeting with my homeopath. Hopefully, by the time the weekend comes around, I will have a new plan in place to deal with this monster.
i don't know if any of the information above was useful at all. One thing that I can say is that one of my greatest fears is that I am alone, that I have a unique condition that no-one else has ever had before, that my brain and my mental faculties are deteriorating, and most of all, that death is the only way out of this predicament. In my better moments, I know that none of these things are true. I know that I need to seek treatment from doctors that I am comfortable with, and start the process of defeating this monster again.
I wish you the best of luck and am sending love and positive vibes your way.
Phil...my doctor is upping my dose of citalopram to see if that lifts me out of this anxiety. Do you think your meds are working? Mine are definately not at the moment. I wonder if it is possible to recover from these thoughts as I'm in such despair.
Rohan, your post definately has helped me. Lots of things you say I can relate to especially the bit about having a unique condition. Glad you are getting the help you need, I am still waiting for CBT and cannot afford to go private. If I could conquer the feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation then I might be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have never felt like this before in my life so am hoping I can be cured...cos I certainly cannot live the rest of my life like this.
Phil...my doctor is upping my dose of citalopram to see if that lifts me out of this anxiety. Do you think your meds are working? Mine are definately not at the moment. I wonder if it is possible to recover from these thoughts as I'm in such despair.
Rohan, your post definately has helped me. Lots of things you say I can relate to especially the bit about having a unique condition. Glad you are getting the help you need, I am still waiting for CBT and cannot afford to go private. If I could conquer the feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation then I might be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have never felt like this before in my life so am hoping I can be cured...cos I certainly cannot live the rest of my life like this.
I decided to pay for some counselling but she did mention seeing the doctor but cancelling my driving test has relaxed me a little. It's weird but the nerves seemed to bring all my anxiety to the front and make me very nervous all the time. I've not got round to discussing the DP feelings with her yet though.
Maybe you can tackle the driving issue when you feel a bit better if you so wish. I think it's better to remove all the stresses until you think you can cope a bit better. Perhaps then you will get the result you want. Just concentrate on you, that's what I'm trying to do.
Maybe you can tackle the driving issue when you feel a bit better if you so wish. I think it's better to remove all the stresses until you think you can cope a bit better. Perhaps then you will get the result you want. Just concentrate on you, that's what I'm trying to do.
I still find it hard to go out when I fear going mad..that plus feeling detached is hard to cope with. I know it's quite a common fear on here but when adrenaline is high it's hard to calm down. The fear of going mad seems to vary from just sitting worrying to extreme worry..really can't understand it.
I've not lost it yet but the worry I will eventually have some kind of breakdown keeps the fear going. :ohmy:
I find it extremely hard to go out and just the thought of waking up tomorrow and realising that this is real and not a terrible nightmare can send me into a blind panic. I get so scared that the world is carrying on and I feel like I've been forgotten somehow and everyone else is just going on with their lives and it's sort of like i'm invisible to them. Also my senses are all very heightened. I really feel like I've lost it! But knowing there are other people here going through the same or similar is a little bit reassuring!!! And there are loads of people on here who have recovered from this. I know it doesn't feel like it will ever get better but we have to keep pushing forward.
the only way to "beat" anxiety in my opinion is by changing your attitude towards it.
i don't have any specific advise and i don't want to seem like i am spamming but i can't recommend the book in my signature enough.
I find it extremely hard to go out and just the thought of waking up tomorrow and realising that this is real and not a terrible nightmare can send me into a blind panic. I get so scared that the world is carrying on and I feel like I've been forgotten somehow and everyone else is just going on with their lives and it's sort of like i'm invisible to them. Also my senses are all very heightened. I really feel like I've lost it! But knowing there are other people here going through the same or similar is a little bit reassuring!!! And there are loads of people on here who have recovered from this. I know it doesn't feel like it will ever get better but we have to keep pushing forward.
Yep right now and other nights I sit in a trance feeling I've gone crazy and lock myself away to sit at the computer. Just wondered how many suffer this regular rather than a passing thought? It's more like an evening long feeling for me "I'm going mad, I must be going mad, if I'm not mad I'm ill" generally feel lagged like this all night..:blush:
It must be the anxiety fixating on something. In this case the thought of being/going mad. I know it has been said many times that to stop these thoughts and fears you have to face them and tell them you are not afraid of them. Something I find so difficult to do. Every time this crazy thought goes through my head I'm going to tell myself that you are sitting there worrying about the same thing so i am not alone. Maybe you can tell yourself the same thing.
Does anybody feel they have to shut everything out when they panic with going mad? Like turning the tv down, avoiding people, headaches and so on?
I can find it lasts all day..makes me very inactive as I sit worrying all day on the PC as I'm safe that way? :unsure: When it gets intense I shut myself away..got symptoms like blurry eyes, headaches, tiredness..it's hard to go out as when I'm at my worst I'm as anxious outside..
I keep seeing the word breakdown in my head that's worrying me too..
Anxious_gal
19-11-10, 06:30
YES!!!
when my anxiety is too high I have to hide away, I can't stand noise or people.
I tend to try and relax/space out on the internet.
it's like any sort of stimulus is too much for me.
I had a horrible dream last night that there was something wrong with my brain. Not sure may have been someone else's but was a weird one..
Also I've had a tingling, cold, nippy feeling at the top of my head..that's when I worry I'm going crazy..anybody had that symptom?
and posted in another thread worry about being possessed by a demon from seeing a film? :huh:
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