Why can't people understand the pressure of driving tests?

[phil06]

I have suffered anxiety for 5 years and sat my first driving test in April and just failed not by much but I went into it not knowing what to expect so I never expected to pass first time and did better than I thought..I have since sat 3 more tests. After the 2nd try I broke down with anxiety a day later. That's when my constant depersonalization started, chest pains, sleepless insomniac nights.

Now I have booked a 5th try but ready to cancel but everybody says "keep trying" it's easy to say that but as somebody who failed a health and safety question paper at work 3 times and been threatened to be sacked in my last job because of it..tests to me are something daunting more so when I fail as I dwell on it, and yes it will stop me sleeping. Now after my 4th I gave up and slowly at the end of the summer I came out this DP bubble, started getting out more..but people said go back to driving..

I'm very indecisive in my old age as I hate making the wrong choice..course I'll regret it..I can drive but tests is different it's how I feel before/after nerves, I broke down in tears last few times I had failed..really it's been the worst bag of nerves and crumbling feeling I've ever felt..so no wonder I'm DP'ed out all the time when it's always on the back of my head.

I hate leaving things as they stick around on my mind too but the anxiety has just got so bad again since I booked another test. I read somewhere anxiety is caused by the first concern on your head and mine is "driving"..financially, pressure, the test, what people think, letting myself down it's endless..and if I give up everybody talks about the money I wasted.

Now in 5 years of anxiety it's only this year I needed diazepam from the doctors and paid for therapy. Before May I was medication FREE I was on NOTHING! I had managed to get myself off propranolol now I'm back on it..I wish people could understand yes it would be fantastic to drive, I have the ability however at the 4th try I genuinely had enough, part of me wants to keep trying but really I don't have to drive for my job or anything. So many people don't realise it's worse with an anxiety disorder...but in my head now if I go ahead, it's a doctors appointment to say I can't cope..if I cancel I can grind and bear and I know 80% in my head in a few weeks I won't be as anxious. Maybe a little annoyed at giving it up. 20% maybe but better than 80%.

I don't know if these kind of tests, maybe uni, college can make people with anxiety relapse into a worse state? But I wish someone could understand as even on here I know it's human nature people say yes keep trying. But my final word is I don't need this..so why do I put myself through it? Really wish I never started. :unsure:

EDIT: Just to add I have since cancelled the test today.

[Nigel]

Hi Phil,

I think a big problem is that most people lose sight of what a test or exam really is. So much pressure is put on succeeding and doing well, and there’s this huge sense of failure if they don’t. And for many people that failure in what they do seems to get translated to a feeling of failure in themselves as a person.

But what is really happening...

A person embarks on some kind of learning. They get so far and take a test. That test is evaluated by somebody who is already proficient, and it’s their job to either confirm that the person has indeed mastered that new subject or task and is ready to move on to the next level, or whether there’s something they haven’t quite grasped and a little more study is required.

Only one person can really answer whether it’s best to cancel this next test or to give it a go. The secret if you do is to do as much preparation as you can beforehand then try not to think about it on the day. You’ve done all you can so there’s no point worrying about anything. Just aim to do your best.

One strange thing about the mind is that it tends to give us more of what we focus on. So when a person focuses on failure, the mind thinks that what they want and gladly obliges :doh:
So the trick is to really focus on passing and doing well, and nothing else. It’s surprising what a difference it can make.

Best of luck with whatever you decide :)
Nigel

[phil06]

I think a big problem is that most people lose sight of what a test or exam really is. So much pressure is put on succeeding and doing well, and there’s this huge sense of failure if they don’t. And for many people that failure in what they do seems to get translated to a feeling of failure in themselves as a person.


Thanks for the reply.

Yes I agree there people look at the long term view of me driving but I kept being told one more go but where does it stop..6 fails, 7 fails. In the end I've decided to cancel as I had a driving lesson tomorrow. I really felt I'd have failed on Monday due to my excessive nerves. Not sure whether to give up properly or not seems such a difficult choice.

[Nigel]

Hi Phil,

“Not sure whether to give up properly or not seems such a difficult choice.”

Sometimes people forget they have a third choice. They can also choose not to make a decision at this time because they don’t have enough info to make a good one. It’s just as valid as saying yes or no, just as long as there’s a good reason for it.

I suppose in a way that could also tie in with the idea of being prepared.

Good luck :)
Nigel