Breasts again...... getting boring now!

[Mogwog]

Hi all

I need all the help and reaasurrance I can get please.
I have a HUGE phobia of breast cancer, I have had scares in the past which have turned out to be fine thankfully but since then my fear has grown.

My left breast is always tender and very lumpy, especially on the outer part nearest mt armpit.

I had a breast ultrasound 4 weeks ago and was told I have samll cysts etc, I also had to have a biopsy on one that he said looked irregular -that came back fine it was just a normal cyst - which apparently was too samll for me to feel anyway.

Well all I can think about is my breast - and how I still might have cancer, when I check it, it feels so lumpy :-( more than the other so I cant even really compare them. I keep telling myself that nothing bad would have grown in 4 weeks the "health anxiety" part of my brain barges in and I think "What if it was missed" blah blah blah. I hate checking the lumpy area as I start to panic - but Ive been told im ok so why am I doing this. I checked so much now that my breast is even more sore and I have probably made lumps bigger and inflamed.

Can anyone relate to this please -I put on an act for my husband as I dont want him to get stressed (we have a v stressful life - our son is disabled) but I need some reassurance


Thank you so much

Lou.x

[countrygirl]

Oh lou - sending you:hugs:

You have been so good replying to my upset bowels post! want to help you too. If you have had ultrasound and they were happy with you then it really would be million to one that they missed anything. Are you going to have regular check ups because of your cysts etc???
If not then can you talk to your GP about arranging to say have an ultrasound every year or something just to make sure nothing has changed - explain your anxiety which is perfectly understandable even in someone without HA. I am only suggesting the check ups for your peace of ind not because I think you need them but if you knew you were having a check up every so often then hopefully you could ignore your breasts other than checking once a month inbetween.
I understand your anxiety completely as I had first mammo and ultrasound a few months ago - I also had infrared breast scan which can show abnormalities 10 yrs before a cancer develops and of course mine showed a slight abnormality in both breasts hence the mammo and ultrasound which were perfect normal. So now I am having a scan every year to see if the abnormalities are still in same place and at least anything will be picked up early - the only caution I have is that the scans are not as much benefit for large breasts or obese women so not perfect. Not sure if having one of these scans would help or hinder you but they are only available from one private health company ad that company leaves alot to be desired. PM me if you want to know more.

[Mogwog]

Thank you so much for your reply. I am feeling a little bit better, I just had an email from my consultants breast care nurse and she said that he will see me again in April to check everything is ok, which I am relieved about. I know its 5 months away but I am telling myself he wouldnt have sent me away if there was anything to be concerned about. I am also going to try to stop poking and prodding as I think I am making everything feel 10x bigger than it should and its sooo sore now. I ahve to break this cycle.... I am only 28 for goodness sake and need to start enjying my life rather than wasting it worrying about things..... I say this now but no doubt i'll be on here again soon worrying about some other aliment I have!

Thank you again.

Would still like to hear from anyone else who hads experience of this though

Thank you

Lou.xx

[happycamper]

Hi Lou,

I've been there too - no fun is it!

My mum had breast cancer 4 years ago, she's ok now, her mum also had it, after my mum was diagnosed I had a period of time when I became so worried about having it myself, obsessively checking for lumps, well they are lumpy anyway!

I even contacted Breast Cancer Care who give excellent advice, the nurse I spoke to tried to reassure me it was very unlikely at my age, I was probably 36 then and recommended I self checked only every month.

Since June though I've realised I've had bad anxiety, possibly triggered by mums cancer and my dad was diagnosed the following year, but regardless of what caused it, since coming to terms with my anxiety, starting on citalopram and trying to focus on getting better, something has clicked and I'm no longer stressing obsessively about it, plus every other crisis that was around the corner!

Now I've got a 'breast awareness' head on, still check regularly but seem to have gained a confidence that there are no changes to the way they look, feel etc. I really hope it lasts!

You're being followed up and I have every faith in breast care specialists, try and relax chuck.

Clare X

[Mogwog]

Thanks for your reply.

So glad to hear your mum is now ok.

You sound very sensible about your breast check.

I am going to calm down - I am still on edge about it today but alot calmer than yesterday

Also my poor left boob feels like its taken one huge beating after all of the checking ive done :-(

Thanks agin for your advice.xxxxxxxx

[jillyb]

I have just had the results of my routine mammogram - all clear!!!! But I sympathise with you so much because I have been to hell and back for the last month. It started as soon as I got the 'invitation' letter and I have been in a terrible state - even with the diazepam. Apart from the 'trigger' of the letter, I also had a car full of breast cancer stuff because my company was sponsoring it and I had just started cbt and because of the way my crazy mind works it all seemed to be conspiring. I was called back once before and was out of my mind with worry - nothing was found. Now I am going to concentrate on my ha and cbt because I cannot go through this every time and nor can my family! I HATE this anxiety. On a plus note, my daughter-in-law, who is 30, found a lump when they were living in the States. Unlike me, she did not go into anxiety orbit, and calmly had all the tests, biops etc and that was a cyst. She was assured that it was absolutely fine and was nothing to do with breast cancer and never would be. I hope this goes a little way to reassuring you. Take care xxx

[constantworrier418]

sending you lots of hugs!!! I can totally understand how you feel, i'm having excaltly the same worry at the moment - mine was triggered back in feb when i went to gp's to check a discolouration on my boob - she examined them and found a lump - i was completely shocked - thankfully i was referred and seen two days later but the lump was no longer there!! although relieved i spent the following months doubting the breast consultant and thinking they had missed something and after driving my partner, mum and various dr's at my surgery mad with asking them to check if they could feel a lump i requested another appointment with the breast consultant - again no lumps found and the relief has been short lived. I'm still thinking what if there is a lump etc and it just goes on - I cannot check my boobs - although I get niggles every now and then that there is a lump habouring I have to restrict my checking because if I check once I will check another million times and still won't feel reassurred. I awaiting cbt counselling but in the mean time I have regular gp appointments (they started at once a fortnight and gradually they have been drawn out to longer periods) and I can get my gp to check my boobs at that appointment. if it wasn't for this I would be making appointments left right and center. Try not to check your boobs too much - you will make them sore and constant poking and prodding will make a lump come up so do your best to avoid constant checking - I know this isn't offering any help as such but I just wanted to say you are not alone so feel free to pm me xxx