Does anyone ever think god I'm sure I'm dying, I may as well just kill myself

[miggymoggy]

This illness/anxiety is horrendous.
Sometimes I think I can't bear to go to the Doctors again, and so scared of what I'll be told. I convince myself sooo much I have C that I can't even face going to the Doctor.

[Diva]

Hi there

I know the feeling, I have this awful anxiety of the the big C but am scared to go to the dr. Every time I get a symptom, I think it's something awful and incurable.

I don't have a GP and if I need to, use private medical centres. Haven't had a smear test for 14 years!

I am presently having CBT (self-referred) have you ever considered it?

I've had 5 sessions and think it may be working to some extent.

Hope you're not feeling to bad at present.

xx

[looking4answers]

I think that most of us has felt at one time or the other ,it would be better to be dead but then..in the back of our mind we know the anxiety will fade at least short term..The key is to keep trying everyday and one day it will get better.I very much like yourself hate going to the doctors and now to the point I would rather suffer because of the way I feel about going to the doctors..Usually the things I worry about are really nothing and in the long term I find out that It was nothing,

Give you a classic example.About 10 years ago I got a mole on my face ,over the years it stayed the same "pretty small" then all of a sudden it developed quite rapidly and scared me to death.I spent days and days and days searching for the answers and was terrified to go and find out what it was. To get to the point ..I felt that it was better for me to be dead than to worry or know what was coming but still there was hope, Over a period of about a year I kept comparing and comparing every known skin cancer there was to this mole as it developed..There were several that looked like it but then there was something called seborrheic kerratosis .. What happens is ,a mole forms or something that looks like a mole and then it crust over and breaks apart and falls off. This all happens in about a year or so.. Well come to find out., my mole was always seborrheic kerratosis..never cancer.

Anyway after all that worrying I found out that was all it was ,it fell off and then there was a little stain on my skin. When I went to the doctor for a checkup ,it was weird like he read my mind. He said.. Hmmm that seborrheic kerratosis finally fell off.. I was shocked he knew what it was to start with and never mentioned it to me ,I could have not worried the whole time I struggled with it, So Just wanted you to know that other people feel the same way as you do .I have worried my life away about things that never came to pass or probably never will.

My mother,God rest her soul told me one time" 99 percent of things that you worry about never come to pass" I guess she sensed i was anxious. Anyway hope you feel better soon.. Michael

[Anxious_gal]

Well when I think i want to die, I reply then with well if I am willing to die I might as well be willing to get better and stop worrying about being ill!

[LittleMissNervous]

I know exactly how u feel im at this point now.. i used to be able to go tobed and have a decent nights sleep now im so scared of going to bed soon as i lie down the panic/anxiety kicks in..!! ive been suffering for 5 years and im getting really fed up now i dnt know how much more i can take..!!! i just dont feel normal anymore dont feel like a human being feel like some kind of freak!!