View Full Version : new to this, feeling suicidal
I have two children and a wonderful man, but I am obsessing so much about my health that while they were eating there tea, i was getting tablets out to end it all.
My daughter came down the stairs to the kitchen and gave me a letter on some paper asking me when i was going to get better and saying she and her sister love me.
She was crying and it stopped me...but for how long?
Hi,
Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.
Have you spoken to your doctor about the way you feel?
Take care
Trac xx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Hi,
I have spoken to my doctor, she has given me some anti depressants and diazepam to take when I am having a bad panic attack.
The thing is it is taking over my life, and it has become unbearable, the thougths are always there.
I am constantly checking my weight to see if I have lost any, I can barely maange to eat.
I feel sick, and sometimes am with fear and anxiety.
I wake up and have a panic attack, and I am pretty much the same all day.
The thing is, I try to be rational, but most of the time I can't.
If someone says I am losing weight, I panic to the point of hysteria, although I am bound to be with all this.
I can't go on.
Hi Hunny
You have everything to live for 2 lovely girls that wrote you the letter & a loving partner. Have you thought of speaking to the Samaritans apart from your doctor. Could you talk to your partner when the little ones are asleep about how your feeling?
Keep Positive
Take Care
((((HUGS)))
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hi,
Seriously, see a doctor who you feel relaxed with.
A few years back, I felt depressed and upset when the children were around me.
I plucked up the courage and told my doctor that I keep crying and I fell I'm getting depressed.
The doctor put me on medication and I felt alot better after taking them for a few weeks.
Regarding the weight, I'm suffering with anxiety at the moment when somebody tells me that I'm loosing weight.
Tony
x
I have spoken to loads of family, theya l being really supportive.
The thing is no matter what they tell me, I still cant turn the thoughts around.
I didnt even see this coming.
I really don't think I can take it anymore.
I feel like half the person I was before, I have gone from a bubbly, loving, patient person to a nervous wreck.
My poor fiance lost his grandad on sunday to Lung Cancer, and he has me to deal with too. I have been depressed before but never like this, and never about my health.
hey...
i know it hard love am they my self.... think of your kids ......they love you and they need you even you feeling like this you may think your no good but they need you. even like this...you there ..if you ended you life you would end part of theres ........i think you need to go to GP or have you tryed to talk to your partner......
..
i dont know what going on in your life at moment but am here if you ever need a chat ..because i know life can be soo dam cruel... that someday it even hard to breath...
pm me if you want....
but babe you got so much to live for..you just got to hang in there....
just a litlle poem:
sometimes in life were dealt a hand that just seems so unfair,we have to rise above it all and try to hang in there for just around the corner theres the anwere to a prayer,a caring hand to guide us through and help us hang in there..
always loved never fotgotten..
www.justgiving.com/kylefaldborggraham
I have been to GP and spoke to my doctor, but no matter how many people tell me this is my mental health, I don't believe them.
I dont want to die, i just want this to go away.
i know what you mean....that how i feel...i wnat to stop thinking just for one sec....just to feel happy and not to worry about everything and anything it drive you nuts....
always loved never fotgotten..
www.justgiving.com/kylefaldborggraham
I dont know what to do though to stop the thought. I am making myself so ill
it soo hard when you are in it... are you able you go out side?
you wnat to talk about what you worry about.....?
it only today when my mum send me this site...i realise ui had a problem see as you no mater how many test i have done i still think thery something wrong and they only soo much your brain can cope with...
always loved never fotgotten..
www.justgiving.com/kylefaldborggraham
Has your doctor not mentioned anything about a councellor?
I think it would really help to speak to one.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
I only feel ok when i go out of the house.
I worry that I have hiv.
Even though I have 2 children and therefore have been tested and they were negative, I worry that I got it.
I started with some ladies troubles last year, and doc thought it was PID so I went for swabs and they were normal and i read up on PID and there was HIV as one of the causes, then I started getting tummy trouble, and looked it up, said it could be IBS causes again HIV.
The I had dry itchy skin over winter, and again I though HIV, and I had a bad cough last year, I thinking again HIV...you name it I associating it with HIV, even a mouth ulcer I had.
It is driving me mad, but I darent go to be tested incase they were wrong the first two times and I am.
It is totally irrational and reading it now akes me realise how irratonal.
7 Months ago I swore blind I had chlamydia...I didint of course, but now I upgraded to HIV.
lol...sorry for laughting but you sound just like me..(or i sound like you).it soo hard this...i had the same 7 years ago same thing about HIV i think in the end i had 10 test done...lol adn had another 10 done for std.s.. to this day i dont get why they let me get tested as they were no reall reasone for me to have that many test.
soo you been tested >>>>two time .have you been with the same partner sence you were tested? if yes i dont think you need to have anotehr test... dont give me wrong i know it hard just to leave thing and not worry about it...
it soo dam hard feeling like this.... but try and write it down everything you worry about that way you can sometime see it more clealy (if only i do what i say to everyone esle..)..mmm
Oh Ireally feel for you. I have 3 lovely kids and I feel just like you. I first go a bad hit of anxiety 12 years ago, but it DID go away. Unfortunately it returned properly a couple of weeks ago ( did get the odd panic over the years but nothing I couldn't control). But now I do wake up in, what I can only describe as, despair every day. I'm getting married in July but have been seriously been thinking of postponing as I want my wedding day to be happy. Noone should get married feeling like this and anxiety doesn't have a day off for special occasions!
All I can say is keep talking. I'm proof that it can go away; I'm just having a short(?) relapse!
Shiv x
shiv good advice keep taliking hun... we are here
(did my msn work?)
always loved never fotgotten..
www.justgiving.com/kylefaldborggraham
Hi Adicol, I took an overdose exactly 12 months ago tomorrow. It nearly killed me, how I am here is a miracle. I have 3 children aged 17, 8 & 5. Every time you have a suicidal thought adicol, just look at your beautiful children, think of that letter your daughter handed to you & absolutely forget about any idea of suicide. I can honestly tell you that it was the worst day of my life & I will never, ever forget it. I now have a permanent fear of dying because I came so close. I never once thought of my kids when I took the tablets, I didn't think about anyone but myself because I was at the lowest point of my life. This is how I found this site. Ever since I took those tablets I have suffered from panic attacks & constant anxiety. It never goes away adicol. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I see it as my punishment for taking those stupid tablets, a constant reminder of what I did. I have put weight on now & am relatively happy with the way I look. Don't think of suicide as an easy way out mate, think of the hurt you'd leave behind, & your children without a mum. I would have strangled anyone who said to me before this happened that "there's people worse off than you", or "time is a great healer". They are the truest words I've ever heard & you must believe me adicol because no-one has been closer to death than me & this world is a great place to be in, with people who love us. Obsessing about our health is something we can learn to cope with. You have to believe me adicol. If I can get through it, you can too.
Take care hun.
Les, xx
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
There’s a very wise saying that says that ‘suicide is a permanent solution to what is a temporary problem’. The problem may not seem temporary to us at the time, but it can be solved.
Take care,
Nigel
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Adicol,
I know how you are feeling but things can get better and I am going to recommend what is working well for me. Learn CBT, join a group, find a cbt specialist to work with or read some books on it. It teaches you how to catch the errors in your thinking that causes your pain and anguish. I am still finishing my group but it is already changing my life. I used to have panic attacks regularly and have not had one in about six weeks now. I love the quote above from Nigel because it is true. The book we are using in my group has a chapter on suicide and it talks about how you want to just get away from the pain and you get overwhelmed to the point that suicide seems like the only answer and likens it to a survival mechanism that has gone haywire because the cure of the tempory pain is counterproductive because you are gone forever if you choose to take that route. Learning to counter your thoughts will relieve most of your pain. I have had periods where I felt as you are now feeling so I hope you are feeling better soon!
I'm 16 years old and i felt the same way you did for awhile when this first happened to me.. for like 1-2 months straight all i did was cry and sit in my room and shake cuz i was ssoo nervous.. i had myself convinced that something was wrong so all i wanted to do is kill myself, it felt like it would make everything better... but later i just started ignoring my crazy feelings of something being wrong with me and talking to ppl... You should go to the doctor and get checkups just to make yourself feel better because it made me feel better afte ri had all my test and nothing was wrong...
How's everything with you Adicol? I hope you are feeling better.
You still around Adicol? Just wondering how you are doing? I am happy to report I have not had an anxiety attack in months now!
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