please help me im very frightened

[LisaLisa]

Hello everyone

i havent needed to post on here for a while but this has upset me so much i cant handle this alone and i really need some help pleae

for nearly three years i have worried realy bad that i have hiv and that all the tests - 5, that i have had which have been negative are just actually missing my infection and that i do have it.

for a good while i was accepting this as an anxiety probkem and almost beleivin that the signs ans symtomtoms that i had from reading the intenet were just the way my mind was distorting them

One of those things is a lumpy cyst thing in my cheek with a few little lymph nodes around it. I read about it on the net ages ago and it brought up salivary glands and hiv and cycsts and OMG i feel sick. So i went to the dr and she felt it and said that she was more concerend about my state of mind. so i was referred to psychology and tried to move qway from the cheek thing. Until recently ive been pulling it abd squashing and obbsessively touching it for hours.

I notice that when i out one finger in my mouth and squaeeze the inside of my cheek with my thumb on the outside, there is lump of fat on the side where there is no cyst and its not on the others side.

So i looked it up and it said the lump of fat is the buccall fat pad. Great so i put that it with cysts and it brought up HIV BUCCAL FAT PAT L... i dint read any more becuase i felt dizzy and sick and couldnt stop shaking.


can some one please help me i feel like i cant take this anymre .

Is this really happening to me? I cant cope with it. I have a two year old and a partner who might then have this if i do!???

and if i dont....why is this symtoms sooooooooo exact to that .....

some please help me please

xxxx

Lisa

[PokerFace]

You don't have HIV if all blood tests have come back clear, there's no way they'd miss it.

People just get cysts! Can be anywhere, and with cysts/ulcers in your mouth its hard for them to heal cuz of where it is. Poking it and touching it all the time won't help it heal either, just leave it alone and it'll go on its own. :) Try to stop Googling aswell cuz literally every symptom you type in, Google will say you either have HIV or cancer which just isn't true. x

[blueangel]

Hi Lisa

Sorry you're feeling so frightened. Don't forget that you have had loads of tests for HIV and the testing process is really accurate - it's really very unusual for a positive test to be missed as hospital labs have all sorts of checks and failsafes in their processes.

Cysts in the mouth are really common. I get little fluid-filled ones on the roof of my mouth at least a couple of times a year. My partner also has some odd cysts underneath his tongue. When he first noticed them he said they gave him a real fright, but his dentist said that they're completely harmless and don't even need removing.

Best thing I can suggest is to go and see your dentist, as he or she will be able to check them out really quickly for you. Don't trust Dr Google, he gives everybody the worst case scenario. My IBS has been playing me up lately and I haven't googled it as I know I'll only frighten myself to death.

[Humly]

Hi Lisa

I really feel for you as I know how really awful it is to feel like this.

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I dont know much about the symptoms of HIV but I do know that you are not doing yourself any favours by looking things up on the internet as you just end up scaring yourself. Please be reassured by the tests you have had, as 5 negative tests sound pretty conclusive to me. There is no way that they could have messed up the tests and missed something 5 times. Also if the doctor suspected anything untoward she would have taken it further. Sometimes we get something into our heads and just cant let go of it which is what I think you are doing. I dont know your story but I know myself that when I am feeling anxious I have to give myself a reason for being anxious so I usually latch on to some physical symptom or other and devote all of my worrying to this.

I am sorry that I have not got many words of wisdom but please be reassured - 5 tests cant be wrong. Hope you are ok.

[Mogwog]

Hi Lisa

I am so sorry you feel so scared - We all know what its like when HA takes hold and the crippling desperation you feel when you think your ill.

5 HIV tests would NOT be wrong, also please don't google its not your friend. I once googled when my son who is 5 kept being sick for weeks on end etc and it diagnosed him with bowel cancer when he was just very badly constipated!! I know its hard not to cos you just want to see if anyone else has hadyour experience.

Also you must stop poking and prodding your cyst as it will irritate it and make it more prominent (I should listen to my own advice and stop poking and prodding my breasts!)

Please be reassured by your 5 tests - you DO NOT have HIV.

I hope I have managed to be of some help to you.

Loads of love and a great big hug

Lou.xx

[Mogwog]

Ok as I am not panicking about this myself I googled for you and found that the buccall fat pad can becoame irritated by friction in the mouth etc and can enlarge so it can be felt and it is not uncommon for cysts to appear. Some people have them removed for cosmetic reasons, as it can make their cheeks enalrge.

You are just fine Lisa

Hope I've helped a little.xxxxxxxxxxx

[LisaLisa]

Gosh thank you so much for all your replies guys. I cant tell you how much you have helped me today.
Im going to totally stop the touching . Thats it from now i cant keep making myself feel bad and then needing others to help me get back out of it again after ive brought it all back by googling and touching my cheek.
You are all so kind and caring folk thanks so much
The person who made this website was an absolute genious and i love them!!

I hope i can help you all back
thanks again

Lisa:hugs:
xxx

Mogwog i just read your post, wow thank you so much for doing that for me. You must have read my mind becuase thats what i really wanted someone to do for me....your a gem.....please always remmeber and ask me if you need me to do anything similar anytimexxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[dodo]

I can sympathise with you wholly. I had the fear had HIV for seven whole years! It was only when I saw the man in question with two kids that my fears just melted away as quick as they'd come.

The awful thing is that the fear started from one misplaced comment from someone and me googling.

If you google a symptom - any symptom - it will bring up HIV, ms, or brain tumour.

Five tests just would not be wrong.

[Mogwog]

So glad we have managed to help you. If you feel you are getting down about again feel free to PM me, I know I dont have experience of this myself but know the feeling of being so scared you don't know what to do with yourself.

Hugs

Lou.xxxxx:bighug1:
Also no probs about googling for you.xxxxxxxx

[DeetheTree]

Hi Lisa
It sucks when you think you have Hiv, i also thought i did a few years back but i tested negative thank goodness.
Like the others said, if you have had 5 tests there is no way they could have not picked it up. Cysts are common and not necessarily linked with anything else.
Also if you did have hiv and it was left untreated you would become very sick (not just a cyst)
You do not have Hiv or Aids honey :)
I hope you feel a bit better about it since posting
Dee :)

[joannap]

pretty much any symptoms that we google can match what we worry we may have in our minds. for example if i have stomach pain i can think cancer! but it could have 101 other causes too.

there is no way that 5 specific hiv tests could have missed hiv. plenty of people live with hiv and other serious illnesses too and so not reach this state of obsession so this is definitely an anxiety problem and is purely a "focus" for your anxiety - you are a fine healthy specimen so enjoy your partner and child and stop worrying!