View Full Version : Never an anxiety free day
I've never had an anxiety free day for months and months due to how I feel. How long can it go on? My nerves feel like pins and needles. I can never relax in fear I'm going mad/dying or having a breakdown. Some days walking doesn't even help as I still get myself into an anxious state doing that.
I am totally fed up of battling to get through every day. I can remember myself like on public transport, relaxed, enjoying the scenery normal clear thoughts but can't do it..just feel a nervous wreck or like scared to go over the door almost.. :blush:
Hi Phil
Sorry to hear how your feeling, i've also been like this for 4 months now and have been assured by my doctor that i will get better. Are you on any meds?
Hi Phil
Sorry to hear how your feeling, i've also been like this for 4 months now and have been assured by my doctor that i will get better. Are you on any meds?
I take propranolol.
I really feel desperate most days and worry I'm heading for a breakdown as these attacks last an hour and make me feel I'm crazy, or I have similar panic attacks of dying with lingering depersonalization.
It seems there's no easy way out of this anxiety mess.
I spent 6 weeks on a pysch ward due to my anxiety, i take seroxat and seroquel 25mg which is an anti psychotic but apparently works well for anxiety. You will start to feel better ( i wake up every day hoping for this) but i suppose if just takes time.
Take care
Elaine
Hiya Phil
I know how you feel and I think the biggest problem is that no matter how hard we try it's just sometimes so very hard to switch off and ignore how we are feeling at times, or indeed how we think we 'might' feel if we do something or go somewhere.
With me I think it's a bit of a vicious circle and I don't know if you find that too.
Even when I'm having a pretty good day (well good compared to what it can sometimes be like and it never lasts a whole day) that little thought always seems to be following me around and lurking somehwhere which says things like ' oooh I'm actually feeling ok at the moment I wonder how long it will last' or ' oooh I'd better not go there or do that just incase .......... '
I walk my dog .... but the number of times I catch myself walking and 'thinking' of bad days, symptoms, what if's, why's, hows and everything else rather than just enjoying the walk and taking in what is around me is mad.
I put this down to the fact that my dog can't talk to me when we are walking so my brain does it for her.:winks:
It's a bit like being blinkered and does make me realise that I never really switch off completely from the bad bits no matter how 'good' I may be feeling or how determined I am not to do it.
Have you tried going for walks with other people? I dont get the chance to very often as everyone's at work but when I have it does tend take your mind off things a bit.
It's hard to be so aware of something all the time but at the same time to try to ignore it especially when you are feeling low or bad... but we'll all get there one day very soon eh :hugs:
I have read before when you worry about health, constant negative thoughts, constant panic, bowel issues, insomnia it's called "Chronic" anxiety.
I've heard it's not as common a term but Health anxiety can occur without physical symptoms and hypochondriac is just HA. Chronic is a mixture of everything I feel.
It's hard to describe how I feel really..sleep is poor, I feel safe at home, constant symptoms from chest to eyes to headaches, worry 24/7. It's had to see a clear path ahead when it's this bad. :blush:
I have read before when you worry about health, constant negative thoughts, constant panic, bowel issues, insomnia it's called "Chronic" anxiety.
I've heard it's not as common a term but Health anxiety can occur without physical symptoms and hypochondriac is just HA. Chronic is a mixture of everything I feel.
It's hard to describe how I feel really..sleep is poor, I feel safe at home, constant symptoms from chest to eyes to headaches, worry 24/7. It's had to see a clear path ahead when it's this bad. :blush:
Phil, don't worry, I was in your shoes, believe me.
Constant worry 24/7, depersonalization and derealisation, constant jittery feeling, dizzines, a tight band around my head, eyes always burning, throat always dry, heart beating out of my chest. I would check my heart rate almost every 10 minutes. Shortness of breath, i can go on and on with the symptoms.
I had to go to work, because I needed rent money. I experienced panic attacks at least twice on the way to work and on the way from work on the same subways that I used to LOVE to take on the same bridges that I used to LOVE to get stuck on. At work i'd get panic attacks the whole day through at least 4 - 8 per work day. I'd go home crawl in my house and cry because I knew I had to do the same thing over tomorrow and for how long? Maybe even forever? The thought destroyed me.
I took no medication.
Look, it gets better. If i had to do it all over again I would change a few things. First, i'd stop pitying myself. I did a lot of pity, why me? why this? I've been a good boy, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. So why does the universe hate me?...you know what.. who cares? you have the problem, get on with it. I know it sucks, believe me, but you have to do something to rebuild yourself.
Think of this as your opportunity to re-create yourself into a better person, take this chance. If i could, i would've started therapy 5 years ago instead of a year ago, maybe I would've been done with this by now? I would've started eating breakfast every morning 5 years ago, I would've started learning correct breathing and meditation 5 years ago. Not just read about it, but actually do it. Do the workbooks, go through with them and be loving and kind to yourself.
I know in the beginning it's tough, you just want to be yourself again and it's very overwhelming. You feel like you're losing yourself and you'll never have your own self back, but this is all self-destructive thoughts !! You see, you ARE you, you didn't go anywhere, you're right there reading this post (hopefully) and you haven't changed a bit. You are just stuck in a cycle of anxiety and negative thoughts, just like some people have chronic migranes, you have chronic anxiety. That's it. Unfortunately our symptoms maybe a little more "frightening" than the migraines, but in reality they don't do anything. You won't die even if you have 100 panic attacks in a row, you wont even faint ! You won't fall over and you def will NOT lose control of yourself or go crazy, believe me..nobody here has and all together combined i'm sure we've had over hundreds of thousands of panic attacks.
If you don't try and believe in yourself, then you will just continue to be stuck in this state.
but if you don't get anything out of this post then at least remember this - time takes care of everything and it will get better, be patient.
feel free to PM me, hope you feel better.
Stan.
hi phil06
i know exactly what you are going through. for the past 12 years i have suffered anxiety every day of my life to some degree and all the accompanying physical symptoms. i have now come off my ssri and kind of feel i have gone back to the beginning to do it all again because yes - they helped but i do not want to be on medication for the rest of my life. last weekend i was in a terrible state but like jabz says - i realised 2 very important things.
1) in the middle of high anxiety/panic - i felt there was no hope - i was in tears saying - that;s it - i will have to go back on medication - there is no hope for me, i am just going to get worse etc HOWEVER - when i had calmed down - i was then able to walk my dogs/go on the computer etc and this made me realise that it could not hurt me - even if i felt terrible - it always passes to some degree and so no - i have not gone back on medication because all week whenever i have felt awful i have tried to accept it and it has stayed in the background.
2) the hardest initial hurdle to overcome is accepting you will not get better overnight and that you can try too hard to get better - i once read - you will never get better until you stop trying to get better. this does not mean we cannot help ourselves - i have realised that allowing myself to get hungry is a big no no - panic and anxiety comes when blood sugar levels are low etc - what it does mean is that every day when you are saying - why don;t i feel better? why is my mind racing? why can't i be like i used to? all you are doing is ADDING to your existing anxiety and prolonging it - you need to give into it and accept that it may take many weeks to heal. if you broke your leg you would not expect it to heal within a few days so accept your nerves are tired/over sensitized and you have to "grow" into recovery.
if i get up now and i feel tired/grumpy/anxious - i let myself be and try not to worry about it and at times in the day i feel my mood lift and am grateful for those times but try not to worry about when it will go down again!
the thing is - your anxiety is YOU - you need to look at and understand how you yourself has got to this point - for me it was years of over worrying and piling stress on myself - try not to see it as your enemy - it is actually trying to be your friend x
Phil, don't worry, I was in your shoes, believe me.
Constant worry 24/7, depersonalization and derealisation, constant jittery feeling, dizzines, a tight band around my head, eyes always burning, throat always dry, heart beating out of my chest. I would check my heart rate almost every 10 minutes. Shortness of breath, i can go on and on with the symptoms.
I had to go to work, because I needed rent money. I experienced panic attacks at least twice on the way to work and on the way from work on the same subways that I used to LOVE to take on the same bridges that I used to LOVE to get stuck on. At work i'd get panic attacks the whole day through at least 4 - 8 per work day. I'd go home crawl in my house and cry because I knew I had to do the same thing over tomorrow and for how long? Maybe even forever? The thought destroyed me.
I took no medication.
Look, it gets better. If i had to do it all over again I would change a few things. First, i'd stop pitying myself. I did a lot of pity, why me? why this? I've been a good boy, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. So why does the universe hate me?...you know what.. who cares? you have the problem, get on with it. I know it sucks, believe me, but you have to do something to rebuild yourself.
Think of this as your opportunity to re-create yourself into a better person, take this chance. If i could, i would've started therapy 5 years ago instead of a year ago, maybe I would've been done with this by now? I would've started eating breakfast every morning 5 years ago, I would've started learning correct breathing and meditation 5 years ago. Not just read about it, but actually do it. Do the workbooks, go through with them and be loving and kind to yourself.
I know in the beginning it's tough, you just want to be yourself again and it's very overwhelming. You feel like you're losing yourself and you'll never have your own self back, but this is all self-destructive thoughts !! You see, you ARE you, you didn't go anywhere, you're right there reading this post (hopefully) and you haven't changed a bit. You are just stuck in a cycle of anxiety and negative thoughts, just like some people have chronic migranes, you have chronic anxiety. That's it. Unfortunately our symptoms maybe a little more "frightening" than the migraines, but in reality they don't do anything. You won't die even if you have 100 panic attacks in a row, you wont even faint ! You won't fall over and you def will NOT lose control of yourself or go crazy, believe me..nobody here has and all together combined i'm sure we've had over hundreds of thousands of panic attacks.
If you don't try and believe in yourself, then you will just continue to be stuck in this state.
but if you don't get anything out of this post then at least remember this - time takes care of everything and it will get better, be patient.
feel free to PM me, hope you feel better.
Stan.
Thanks that's interesting to hear. I'm able to work too which is a bonus..some shifts are earlier than others. I am hoping this will eventually pass.
goldilockz
20-11-10, 20:56
Stan,
Just wanted to say I found your post really touching and uplifting. Well done for taking anxiety by the horns. I hope you are getting better as time goes on. xx
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