View Full Version : Why are we afraid to die??!?!?
I want to know why you are afraid to die. I mean why are we really scared?!?!? For me I guess it's the not knowing what will happen to me. I don't want to be stuck in a house for eternity as a ghost or something like that. What about you???
If I'm honest, I was brought up in a Catholic household and the whole thing TERRIFIES me. That and the thought of being separated from my mum, and I watched a film called the Lovely Bones and that too made me feel even worse... And the fact that it never ends or changes, its so so scary. I'm trying to go in for the whole religion thing to see if that comforts me a bit. I keep worrying that I'm having premonitions too :( it's all I think about to be honest.
I'm not scared of dying I'm scared of leaving my little girl without a mummy the thought its self kills me.
Same for me Sammi... although I wish I hadn't been asked now cos I'm thinking about it now.
I'm not scared of physically dying (although I'd much rather not if that's ok) or where I will finish up if there is such a place.
but..... I'm really scared of what it would do to my son, my dad, my brothers and sisters.... and of course my partner although he'd probably be ok (sounds an awful thing to say now I've written it and I'm not entirely sure why I put that, but the question was asked and that's how I answered without thinking:shrug:)
I'm scared of the thought of never seeing them all again too or saying the things I should have said, doing the things I should have done, or watching them go through life and being able to help them.
Ooooh I don't like this I'm off now ............... night all x x x
do you ever drive yourself insane thinking about where you go??how did we get here etc...?
Puppyskin: Yes!! especially at nighttime! It makes me dizzy just thinking about it just now haha!
Ella_Jayne
18-11-10, 21:50
I have these thoughts all the time, it really doesn't help where anxiety is concerned. But I recently read a book call 'Angels in my hair' it's a best seller by Lorna Byrne and it is absolutely amazing.
Lorna writes about her life from when she was a child, she could see angels all of her life. She tells you what they look like and that everyone has a guardian angel and that when you die there is so much more, it's not just the end. She describes it in great detail. I'm not really giving the book much justice by the way I'm describing it but even check Youtube for her she's done a few interviews which are on there. It gave me great comfort. And it's a great read.
We shouldn't be afraid of dying as it's something that everyone will have to do at one point. No matter what path you lead your life we're all going to die, it's just a matter of when. But we're not dead yet and should make the most of life.
Constant thoughts about death will only make you depressed. I personally believe that dying is not the end, just a change. And that we WILL be reunited with friends and family that have gone before us. I know that some people don't have this view but it's what I believe in. We weren't put here by accident anyway. :)
DAISYCAKE.do you think its an anxiety thing cos ive never thought this way before anxiety?
do you ever drive yourself insane thinking about where you go??how did we get here etc...?
yes i go through this a few times a year and it really scares me :weep:
x
I'm scared because I really don't know what happens. I believe in God and only hope I'm right in my beliefs. I also believe in ghosts yet never saw one. I have an interest it it because if They exist then we move on as well. We don't just die and stay that way forever. When I was young I would sit and think about forever, it would scare me.
benjamin222
19-11-10, 05:09
We are afraid of death because fear of death is a self-preservation response that has survived through natual selection in one way or another in almost every species on earth. Without a fear of death, every species that encounters obstacles or predators would have died out long ago.
When we die, our physical bodies rot in the ground. Our consciousness goes to the exact same place it was before we were born.... No, not into your fathers sack, into absolutely nothing. The memories you will retain will be the exact same ones you had 10 months before you were born
Oh haha btw sorry to be such a buzzkill and ruin the philosophical discussion with my science-y crap.
paula lynne
19-11-10, 05:15
Hi, I think we fear death so much because its an unknown quantity. My only concern is that I die before my children, and that Im not alone. Other than that, I believe we go on somewhere, because of my Christian beliefs. The bible says "He (God) has put time eternal into hearts...." and this is why, I believe, we ultimately dont want to die, because we were never meant too. x
I recently went through severe panic attacks and all the associated symptoms when I thought I was going to drop down dead at any minute, but I am now glad of all that I have been through as to me it was a painful and deeply emotional wake up call - I have read many books about dying and the afterlife (believe me there is more of it out there than you can ever realise) - just as we are born so we will die - it appears from all my research that dying is like going on holiday without the bags! There is absolutely nothing to fear from it - some struggle to let go of the physical realm (ghosts) but these spirits are always assisted by those on earth and in the other realms to return to their home. It is absolutely fascinating and extremely comforting. Reincarnation is mentioned in the bible and is at the core of other religions, it has just been kept in the dark - imagine how the world would be if we all saw this life as part of a journey where we were all responsible for our actions and thoughts and we can overcome any obstacle. The other key to this is don't think about it - you are trying to process answers with a very small amount of your brain (3%) - it is like trying to play a download on a cassette player - you will short circuit - you just have to have faith and trust that you know!!
allergyphobia
19-11-10, 11:09
for me it is the physical act of dying that i'm scared of, and the never ending black i imagine after (wow that sounds depressing). but yeah i'm a wimp so i'm terrified of it happening, whether that is of an illness, where i know my time is coming, or just stopping breathing TERRIFIES me. i think i am most scared of dying from anaphyllactic shock, as that is my major phobia and cause of my anxiety and panic attacks.
I've read lots of books on the subject of the afterlife because my son died and I needed to know if I would ever see him again. I have absolutely no fear of dying but that's easy for me to say because I've loved and raised a wonderful family. If I was younger (I'm 52) I would be terrified at the thought of leaving my precious children. I have had signs that my son lives on and watches over us but even if I'm wrong I still don't fear death. I think of it like when you have an operation under general anasthetic, you know nothing, there is only oblivion. x
Hi i am not afraid of dying im more afraid of what im going to die of eg cancer thats what bothers me .I truly believe in the after life and have read loads of books and been to see spiritulist and been to spiritulist churches there is a wanderful calming atmosphere x
Someone on here once said "I didn't have a problem when I was dead before I was born, so I won't have a problem when I die!" I find that reassuring. I think some people think that we will be trapped in an anxiety filled eternity, or being trapped in coffin. Or floating around in darkness..? Muslims have rather frightening views on death, Christians are less frightening...atheists least frightening.
twhitetina
19-11-10, 18:04
I think about it all the time. It is such a scary thought. I have faith and believe in a higher power and still have these over eluding thoughts. For me it definitely started when my anxiety did.
I’m scared about death too. I try not to think too much about what happens afterwards and all that uncertainty stuff, but if I did, I know it would very easily become another source of worry.
One thing that does scare me aboout it is that I associate death with either a horrible accident or serious illness, and I think it’s the horror and the pain that I’m scared of, and thinking about what it might be.
The other reason is that my life has been largely a non-event so far. There’s so much I haven’t done and many of those things I feel unable to do for various reasons. I hate the thought of life coming to an end and having no more time to ever do any of those things. It would be the ultimate ‘missed opportunity’.
Nigel
shaggyowen
19-11-10, 18:38
i would hate to just be in compleat balck darkness or nothingness seem F**king horrible :/ and i just wouldnt want to leave me family friends of my gf i want to lie a long a fruitefull life =]
I 'died' on the operating table, basically I had an allegeric reaction to the anaesthetic. After the intital reaction of what was happening (body went to sleep so I couldn't move but my brain/mind stayed awake) the point where I stopped breathing was actually calming - hard to explain but I have often referred to it as being in a warm, dark and sleepy room - almost womb like. I had no fear, I didn't think of any of my family or I didn't feel my phyical body. It was like a floating - a nice place and I was happy. I do not fear death now... infact sometimes I think life here is too complicated.
Having said that, since this happened I have become a mum, and leaving my husband and son - I dread, as I love them so dearly and couldn't cope with the thought of leaving them behind. So I want to remain here and I want to enjoy every moment with these special souls.
I suppose this incident possibly started my Panic attacks... who knows.
Adam Thompson
19-11-10, 20:49
for me, although i cant say with any certainty...i think the reason im afraid to die is because i feel like i havent achieved anything with my life. because i feel ive something yet to come..if that makes any sense? i dont know...
the dilemma is is that we cannot live a full life until we overcome our fear of death. i too have gone through periods of being terrified of death/what happens after but the ironic thing is is that if we are reincarnated then we have all died many times before!
i personally think that there is something after we die. i have had quite a few strange experiences and also had many dreams of loved ones/pets who have passed on x
This has just reminded me of when my bus crashed and afterwards I had no fear of death whatsoever!
Ella_Jayne
20-11-10, 19:56
This has just reminded me of when my bus crashed and afterwards I had no fear of death whatsoever!
Why was that PanchoGoz?
westofengland
20-11-10, 20:06
I think this is a really interesting discussion. Everyone's going to die, we know that from childhood. As someone else said, it's probably the fear of getting ill,and the effect it will have on other people that really scares us.
So we fear dying young.... but its just a thought, a passing thought. If we can learn to accept our passing thoughts and fears and not react to them, maybe we can make progress.
For me, I have panics about dying young and also leaving my kids alone, or somehow that I have put them at risk too - i hate these thoughts and I then try to seek certainties to reassure myself. It's a vicious cycle. So in CBT terms
Cognitive - the scary 'thought' creates anxiety that we find very hard to deal with\
Behaviour - so we act to try and get reassurance, either by going to the dr, going online, asking friends and family for reassurance.. we maybe feel reassured for a while but the anxiety comes back and because our faulty 'behaviour' keeps feeding the anxiety, it's never allowed to die down
In Eastern traditions like Buddhism they encourage you to meditate on death and regard life as an 'attachment'. By learning to let go off attachments we can find more inner peace. Maybe an awareness of death, and a willingness to face the uncertainty of death, rather than squash our fears all the time, can lead to a greater appreciation of life?
Do you know what I am really afraid of? Getting to 75 or 80 and finding that I wasted so much of my life in worrying about illnesses I never actually got.
I think a lot of people fear wasting their life. I mean, its one of the only things in life we don't get a second chance at...life. I don't know why it made me feel better about death Ella, it must be just because I had experienced a near death expereince (well hardly I wasnt even hurt!) but it made me realise dying can't be all that scary...
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