meagle
19-11-10, 15:27
Hi guys, how are you?
My name is Mike, and I've been reading through a lot of your posts since I joined a few days ago. It's been very helpful to hear others share their own experiences.
My own deal is that I recently finished up college and now am in the process of finding a career (interviews, job fairs, etc.) I've always been pretty confident, had a good circle of friends, and a great family.
However my life has spiraled out of my control as of late. I do not know where to turn, really feel as if I've lost my compass. Everything (no exaggeration) is overwhelming. I don't feel happy anymore and I constantly have to battle with invasive thoughts and depressive ebbs that sap all of my energy. I work myself up over everything real and imaginary (feels like my brain is going a million miles an hour and wont shut off) until I feel physically unwell, headaches, nausea and such. I am slowly but surely withdrawing from contact with friends and avoiding family gatherings. My self-confidence is shot and I've somehow learned to hate myself. No matter what small activity I'm doing, there is always a voice in the back of my head saying "You're worthless, just quit."
I'm really scared that I'm going insane. I've struggled with mild depression all through adolescence but nothing like this. Sometimes I feel my heart clenching up and my throat closing, and it feels like I'm dying. This is an absolutely horrific feeling, if you've ever had it.
Social interactions are unmanageable, as talking to strangers and introducing myself leaves me unnaturally drained and weak. As you can imagine, this is absolutely killing my job search chances right now. Lost all interest in meeting and talking to girls. Every day is a wasted day right now until I can snap out of this.
I'm hoping that if I post my thoughts in writing maybe it will help me focus on what the real problem is. I don't know what the hell is happening to me.
My name is Mike, and I've been reading through a lot of your posts since I joined a few days ago. It's been very helpful to hear others share their own experiences.
My own deal is that I recently finished up college and now am in the process of finding a career (interviews, job fairs, etc.) I've always been pretty confident, had a good circle of friends, and a great family.
However my life has spiraled out of my control as of late. I do not know where to turn, really feel as if I've lost my compass. Everything (no exaggeration) is overwhelming. I don't feel happy anymore and I constantly have to battle with invasive thoughts and depressive ebbs that sap all of my energy. I work myself up over everything real and imaginary (feels like my brain is going a million miles an hour and wont shut off) until I feel physically unwell, headaches, nausea and such. I am slowly but surely withdrawing from contact with friends and avoiding family gatherings. My self-confidence is shot and I've somehow learned to hate myself. No matter what small activity I'm doing, there is always a voice in the back of my head saying "You're worthless, just quit."
I'm really scared that I'm going insane. I've struggled with mild depression all through adolescence but nothing like this. Sometimes I feel my heart clenching up and my throat closing, and it feels like I'm dying. This is an absolutely horrific feeling, if you've ever had it.
Social interactions are unmanageable, as talking to strangers and introducing myself leaves me unnaturally drained and weak. As you can imagine, this is absolutely killing my job search chances right now. Lost all interest in meeting and talking to girls. Every day is a wasted day right now until I can snap out of this.
I'm hoping that if I post my thoughts in writing maybe it will help me focus on what the real problem is. I don't know what the hell is happening to me.