Anxiety and a partner who says "it's all in your head!!"

[michelle123]

Hi everyone, I've been with my bloke for 9 years, hes a typical mans man, drinks beer, plays sports, farts and doesn't understand women one bit....on the good side, he works hard and is an amazing father to our little girl.
I've always kept my problems (anxiety/panic attacks) to myself over the years for fear of being labelled 'a wierdo/weak/attention seeker' all of the names that people who have never been through this may think.
Lately it has been getting on top of me and way out of hand, severley messing with my mind, I honestly thought I was going out of my mind, I ended up at my local walk-in centre in tears. The lovely lady there spoke to me for an hour and calmed me down, she made me realise that I need a network of people to support me and therefore I need to tell my family what I am going through. I hated the idea of this, but I started with my partner (the 'blokey bloke!') Last night I sat and told him I'd stumbled accross this site and how relieved I was to find that others suffer the same symptoms and are on the same tablets (citalopram) which made me see that I'm not alone, to which his reply was "well, I think it's all in your head!!" ..... How lucky he was that I didn't have a blunt heavy object close to hand! On a serious note though, I'm so dissapointed, I thought he would at least try to understand, he seems to think anxiety and panic disorder is like when you see a little spider and your like "argh". I'm not going to confide in him ever again, and I'm seriously thinking about our relationship. I mean, he's witnessed how poorly this has made me in the past 5 weeks, does he think I'm just some kind of drama queen?? :emot-crying:

[nomorepanic]

Hi michelle123

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[JJ76]

Michele welcome I am new also- Although my bloke isnt the sort who says stuff like that my own family are oh and you can talk yourself in so you can talk yourself out. My own answer to a bloke was yes its all in my head - the wires are short circuiting a bit and the tablet are the masking tape and any therapist ( as I now see) is the electrician.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:
Paige x

[carla g]

hay hun my partner is the same he tells me their is nothing wrong with me and im playing on it all, iv 4got how many times hes had a go about me not being abel to do this and that, iv now got to the point were i just blank it x

[sammi]

Hi michelle welcome to NMP. My fella is a bit like this he doesn't believe/understand depression/anxiety I think he gets that from his dad. Anyway he used to be like there's nothing wrong with you you have been told why can't you believe it blah blah blah it got to the point where I didn't want to be with him but I came to realise he doesn't suffer from this so he doesn't know how bad it is. He really tries to understand now he still sometimes gets annoyed with me but he knows I'm suffering so he tries to be there for me now. I really hope you can get some support from him its awful to feel alone x

[ditzygirl]

Firstly welcome to this fab site, and if nothing else you have found some great support.

What i am going to say is a bit odd and I hope it comes out right.

Your BF is correct but he doesn't realise it. Anxiety and depression are a form of mental illness ( an expression i hate by the way). But unless you have had any experience of it people have no idea of how hard it is too handle. People also cant see this illness and think you are being lazy/difficult blah blah blah.

I rather think too that many are scared of knowing anyone with a "mental illness" but this is rather niaive. Depression and Anxiety can effect anyone at anytime - no one is immune!!!!!!!! Life deals some tough stuff at times.

My BF is crap at supporting me too - he thinks im a burden!!!!!

Does your BF know you are on here? maybe if he had a good look aroudn the site he would get it. Or google something like celebrities who suffer panic and see what comes up, he will be very very surprised!!!!

I'm not sure you will get him to understand completely but we are here to share stuff with and we DO understand. Hope you are getting support from a GP too.

Big hugsxx

[michelle123]

Thanks everyone, it's nice to know I have fellow nutters on board lol :winks:
I don't know how i'll handle it, He's been great the past few weeks, giving me a cuddle when i've been scared (of god knows what :unsure:) which made me feel so much closer to him, only to find he really thinks I'm just a freak!! He was probably pretending to be supportive in an attempt for more sex!!! haha, Men!! Pftt! xx

[MrsNervous]

HI Michelle

I am new here too. Got a lot going on at the mo and its cranked the anxiety levels up quite a bit.

Yep, I understand totally the way you feel about your man at the mo. My hubby is good and does support me but I feel that sometimes I must get on his nerves with my crying and worrying (mine is health anxiety and fear of dying) He tries his best, but he is so blase about stuff he just doesn't understand how horrible it is to feel like this.

I end up loathing myself and wishing I could be so 'cool' about stuff as most other people appear to be.

I am going to try and get to see my gp on Monday (:winks: wish me luck on that one as ours operates a book 2wks in advance or phone on the day and take pot luck system, but I am going to tell the receptionist I really need to see her asap) She knows I freak out over health problems but I am so fed up that I am going to ask her if she can refer me to someone who can help me deal with my fears and help me find a coping strategy. I did it with my fear of flying, so I have to tell myself I can do it with this.

Thinking of you,
MrsN

[ditzygirl]

Michelle

just a thought but is it worth your BF having a look around this site. Believe me anxiety and depression are sooooo common but no one will talk about them and people are scared of them.

[michelle123]

Hi Miss Nervous :hugs:
Have you ever tried cognitive behavioral therapy? Thats what I'm booked in for, my 1st session starts in 2 weeks, I think mine is most definately health anxiety too, with a bit of other stuff mixed in for good measure :wacko:
It's meant to teach your mind how to deal with thoughts differently, I'm really looking forward to it, my brain certainly needs some tlc at the mo. I really hope that you get the support you deserve from your gp, I'm here to talk if you ever need to, it's awfull anxiety! x