Tired of looking for Reasurrance :(

[Ella_Jayne]

I've suffered with Health Anxiety for 15 months now and I'm just so sick of my own voice, it's unreal.

I seem to do/say/think the same things everyday and I'm constantly looking for reasurrance, whether it's from my family and friends, on the internet or on here. It's getting too much for me now. :weep:

Despite having countless amounts of tests (30+ ECG's, an Echo, 24hr Holter, Chest X-Rays etc...) I'm still concerned that i have a heart problem.

Some kind of arrhythmia that's going to cause me to drop dead. :ohmy:

I've seen many doctors and they all say my heart is fine. I just can't believe it though. I don't know how to!

I've tried CBT twice and it just didn't work for me.

My counceller kept telling me that when I felt anxious or in a panic about my heart to tell myself that I've had all the tests done and that I'm fine, but straight away after I tell myself this, thoughts like ''Tests can be wrong'' come into my head too, which leave me back at the start.

I really don't know how to convince myself that I'm okay. I get palpitations form time to time, feel like I'm walking on a boat most of the time, the list of symptoms is pretty much endless.

On Friday I went to meet my boyfriend, had to walk about 15/20 mins. The whole time I was super anxious, got REALLY short of breath and just felt uneasy.

I worry that I'll never get fully better and that I'll always have this. It makes me so so sad.

I'm only 22 and shouldn't have to worry about my health too much.

I get this uneasy breathing feeling too, like my throat/chest goes tight and I gasp to take a full breath. This usually lasts 10-20 mins, sometimes shorter.

I know a lot of my symptoms can be attributed to anxiety and lets face it, it probably is the main cause. But how do I convince myself that I'm okay? How do I help myself?

Anyone have any advice?

x

[dodo]

Ditto

I've had ecgs, 24 hour tape and echo and treadmill - the latter two being only a couple of months back - but I can't accept nothing is wrong after the damn things have reared their ugly heads again.

I just keep thinking that perhaps the echo doesn't diagnose some irregularities and that something has been missed as why would these things happen.

[paula lynne]

Would you believe me if I said all the things you feel are anxiety?
Just think about that for a moment.......what if it was only anxiety, would you be able to cope?
Yes you would, because hundreds of people get the same feelings everyday, but get on with life. Im not belittling your feelings, what Im saying is...trust that you are ok, that the tests are correct and theres nothing seriously wrong. After youve accepted that, only then can you move on to the anxiety part....then learn to deal with that,

Hundreds of people Ive met on here, and myself, feel like you, and I know its scary hunny, but you can and will cope ok. You have to accept it for what it is, then you can move forward on your journey. xxxxxxxxx:hugs:
.

[PokerFace]

I know how you feel. Me and my mum had a massive fight the other day over my constant reassurance seeking! So hard to stop it though. I got a reality check on Friday cuz she said the first thing I say to her when she walks through the door after work is "I'm gettin palpitations man!" which is true. I said it every single night as soon as I saw her lol didn't even realise til she pointed it out to me.

Makes me sad to think I'll never get over it too, is so hard to get out of. I totally messed up last week with my "overcoming health anxiety" plan cuz ectopics got the better of me, all I can do is try again this week which isn't gonna happen today cuz I've ran out of beta blockers and my hearts beating SO hard I've been awake all night. :closedeyes: I'm in a bit of a rut myself!

So! What I'm gonna suggest is, cuz deep down somewhere you KNOW this is all anxiety, you need to start to adress it. Get a note pad and write down all the things you think you can do to get better. I'll give you a few to get you started.

Regular exercise - you can go for a quick walk down the street and then home again, dance around in your room to your favourite music, do 10 sit ups, anything really!

Taking supplements - they could genuinley make you feel better, even if they don't it gives a kind of placebo effect. I started taking omega3 cuz I HATE fish with a passion but it's giving me a positive effect mentally cuz omega3 is really good for your heart. I feel like I'm making my heart healthier so a little bit of my anxiety eases up if you get me?

Relaxation!! - I know..do any of us here even know what relaxing is anymore? :D Set aside some time every night solely to relax. Warm baths, lavander oil, massages, eating a bowl of ice cream in bed whilst watching Eastenders..ok maybe not the last one as I'm like THE only person I know who actually watches Eastenders lol! But you get the jist of it yea?

Acceptance! - THE most hardest thing to do. Next time you get a chest pain or funny heart beat I want you to just stop the panic. Just stop what you're doing, breathe slowly and recognise it as ANXIETY. Don't think "oh God my heart" think "oh God my anxietys playing up again!" and REALLY tryy to beleive it. Then after you've took that minute or so out to rationalise yourself just get on with what you were doing, forget about it instantly. It's hard I know but CAN be done. It's one of the first steps to acceptance.

Ok, so when you've made your list of what you think you can do to get better, start to think of how you can make all these things happen. Write out a day at a time so like today you might wanna start out easy and just dance around in your room for 20 mins or so, or go to the shop and buy some suppliments you think might make you feel better and some lavander oil. If you do anything like that today, great! That's one thing you've done to help yourself today. At the end of everyday write down in the notepad something you did today that you think helped you with your anxiety. It doesn't have to be anything drastic like "Today I ran a marathon" can be anything big or small. I wrote in mine last night "Today I had a really hot shower alone in the house had an ectopic and survived." I know, not the most exciting thing to document but I was proud of myself for not losing control and having a full blown panic (though I did nearly fall out the shower I was trying to get out so fast =/)

ANYWAY, there's another one of my big walls of text for you. I bet you're starting to hate me LOL. Sorry it's a bit rushed but everyone will be up in a bit and I'll have to get moving. To cut a long LONG story short, the more you try to recognise this as anxiety, the less reassurance you're gonna need. Hope this helped a bit. xx

[looking4answers]

Im sorry for sounding silly here but you have only had this 15 months? Try 50 years lol.. Ever since I was a child I have been anxious. I have to say that it has been absent for years at a time only to come back and overwhelm me but well yes I would say 50 years is pretty accurate. I hope im not being mean sounding here and do hope you feel better .Its just when I saw you say 15 months I felt as if saying if I were to be so lucky. Take care and feel better. Michael

[looking4answers]

On a different note..I wanted to say just relax and try not to worry.Therapy was great for me.I would talk to them and ask millions of questions about feelings of this and that.. I had some really weird ones. I had one therapist that something he told me really stuck with me for most of my life and has helped me so much .. It was when you get a weird feeling ,just know it deep inside that it is temporary and will go away. For some reason it has stuck with me all these years and he was right. I know its hard but it will get better and you will be fine and look back one day and know it was just a bad time in your life. At age 22 I was the most anxious of my life. There is something about that time when you realize you have your whole life ahead of you and that you aren't invincible and you will die one day. I think it all comes to mind about that age.. Just hang in there and you will be okay and we are all here with you .Don't worry.. be happy and relax ..Good luck to you .Michael

[Ella_Jayne]

Pokerface, you always put so much effort and detail into your replies. Thanks a lot, i really appreciate it. And you always manage to make me laugh "though I did nearly fall out the shower I was trying to get out so fast" LOL!!! :)

I'm gonna take all of your advice and try everything you said. I'll let you know how I get on. Thanks again hun. :) xxx

Thanks to everyone else for their advice too. You're right Paula Lynne, I could accept these symptoms if I believed that they were 100% anxiety. It's just the accepting that I find difficult. I know that I need to start attributing them to anxiety and not a heart problem. Thanks for your advice :)

Looking4Answers, I know in comparison 15 months and 50 years don't even compare and I do sympathize with anyone that has had this a very long time. You're right with what you said about this time in your life and realising you're not invincible. A lot of people have said this to me too. And I really take comfort in that line that your therapist told you about a feeling being temporary, I've been using that all morning. It really helps.

Thanks again everyone! :)

xxx

[PokerFace]

Lool! :) It's no problem, I hope you start to feel better soon. xx