Small Success

[allergyphobia]

:yesyes:

Hi guys!

Just thought i'd drop by and write a positive post for a change!!

As many of you know I suffer from quite an extreme phobia of allergic reactions. I have been struggling quite badly since April, at one stage only eating bread and losing nearly two stone but gradually starting to build myself back up again.

I stick to rigid routines with my safe foods, but with the help of my boyfriend and CBT i am starting to try and break my bad habits. I also do silly things like take my own teabags into work because im worried something is different about the work ones!

So my CBT homework was to take a teabag from work home, to drink it there - as my first step. And i can say on saturday, i did it! The next step it to drink a tea at work using their teabag, then the third is to let somebody else at work make me a tea and drink it! I am planning to do the drinking at work stage tomorrow :--)

I also let my boyfriend cook me breakfast at his house on saturday, and had no control over the cooking (something i NEVER do) i also tried a new brand of bread, something i never do!

Then yesterday, i did my most successful thing of the week! i ATE a bowl of chips out in a pub! i haven't eaten out since april/may time so this was a massive step forward for me. i'm feeling really glad that i have started to push myself, as i really want to start running towards recovery and towards a much healthier, less anxious lifestyle!!

So moral of the story i think is that baby steps and lots of support are the way forward. My therapist says we could talk until we were blue in the face about the 'dangers' of an allergic reaction, and how i can tackle it, but that will still never help me overcome my phobia. only 'having a go' as he calls it will start to help me see that i will be okay. on sunday my boyfriend said even if you just hold a chip, youve given it a go - and i think because there was no pressure, (and maybe cause he hadn't fed me since brekkie :roflmao:) i thought sod it! and just went for it.

just thought i'd share with you all. thanks everybody for your support and all the love, i absolute adore NMP :yahoo::hugs:

[JaneC]

That's absolutely brilliant AP, the title of the thread doesn't do you justice. Very well done! x

[allergyphobia]

awwh thanks so much Jane!! :hugs:

I think it definitely helps me to share my progress and say what i plan to do next, to give me a bit of a kick to keep on going! hopefully it shows that you can come back from a very bad place, even if it's just a few little steps in the right direction. :yahoo:

[paula lynne]

Brilliant positive post allergy! So good to hear your making such fantastic progress and breaking through your problems, keep up the good work!

Little steps...may take longer to get there, but you'll reach your destination just the same....congrats, and enjoy your tea! x:yesyes:

[Vanilla Sky]

You're doing well hun , thats what i did in my CBT , gradual things . You will get to the stage where it wont be an obsession any more .
Keep up the good work , you will get through it :D

Paige xxxx

[allergyphobia]

Thank you so much Paula, all these words of encouragement really help! I really do feel like i'm starting to get somewhere, which in the darkest days I never thought I would be 'normal' ever again. Like yesterday in the pub I just felt like anybody else, in the pub on a sunday afternoon with some chips and a cheeky shandy :winks: x x x

Thank you so much mummy :hugs:... i think you're right the key is just gradual things, and also writing down what you have achieved to record it, to show you can do it again. i look forward to it not being an obsession anymore and just being able to forget about it... you know you're my inspiration :D x x x

[Joexgee]

that is excellent progress :D very well done to you x x

[michelle123]

Hi, I'm a newbie but just wanted to say a very well done you!!! Brilliant news, keep up that good work sweetie x

[allergyphobia]

thank you so much joe! and hi, don't think i've ever spoken to you before :flowers: x

thank you michelle how lovely of you to say well done!! i'm feeling rather big headed after all these congratulations :D... :welcome: to NMP x

aliiiiiii :hugs: thank you so much, how are you doing hun... i think i'll reward myself today with a nice choccy bar hehe! xxx

[Hazel B]

Well done, that's a great achievement!

[allergyphobia]

thanks Hazel B!! :blush:

aliiiiii you crack me up, some choc is on its way to you!!! :bighug1:

[Nigel]

Hi allergyphobia,

What a love post to read.
Well done :yesyes:

I think what’s been happening over the months is that you accidentally taught your mind that all those different foods were dangerous, and that happened because you reacted to them with fear and avoided them. At first your mind was just being cautious, but the more you responded with fear and avoidance, the more it learned that it was right and there really must be some terrible danger there. So over time it became an automatic reaction and you no longer thought about it. It just happened.

What you’ve just written about is doing the exact opposite – teaching your mind that these are perfectly safe and normal things to be doing. It’ll soon start to question what it thought was right, giving you chance to teach it some more better ways.

The real secret, if you can do it, is to see if you can tackle these things without feeling scared. In fact try to not even be thinking about it at all. Just do it while talking about or doing something totally different. When it doesn’t work its because a person confronts one of their fears, but feels absolutely terrified about it. This is still sending the mind the message of fear and danger about that situation, and nothing new has been learnt.

So when you sit in the pub chomping away at your chips while chatting to your boyfriend, or drinking that cuppa at work while talking about X Factor, your mind knows for absolute certain that there’s no danger, because you wouldn’t be calmly doing that if there was. And the mind can learn new things very quickly given the right cues.

Well done. I think you’ve cracked it!! :)
Nigel

[allergyphobia]

Hi Nigel,

What a truly insightful, fascinating and lovely post, thank you very much! You are totally right, i have come to totally respond with fear to food, and i misinterpret this as an allergic reaction... and this was totally automatic, not even me "working myself up" or whatever...

I really hope i can start to teach it better ways. That's what is so hard, i think, because i have certain foods i want to challenge, but i don't want to do them in a 'pressured' way, as i think i'm almost pre-empting the panic, does that make sense!!?

It's good to know you think the mind can learn quickly... as that's something else i'm fearful about, that it will take a long time to get back to my 'old' self, or what i prefer to think about is becoming/evolving into a 'new me'!

So, it's off to the pub again tomorrow, this time maybe to tackle gammon and chips, or maybe just chips, I can decide when i get there, aslong as i give it a go :D. Nigel your words have helped to keep pushing me along!

Thanks again all :hugs:

[margaret jones]

Well done to you a great big :hugs: you are a star Little steps lead to Big STRIDES XXXXXX

[ann01]

That's brillant news, well done. Excellent progress, you should be very proud of yourself. Well done

[Nigel]

“It's good to know you think the mind can learn quickly... as that's something else i'm fearful about, that it will take a long time to get back to my 'old' self”

Sometimes it can take time, and other times it can happen very fast. Think about the first time you grabbed hold of a hot plate. I bet it didn’t take it very long to learn not to do that again! :winks:

I don’t really understand it all but a key part seems to be emotions, or feelings. The mind seems to attach a lot of significance to those. So a fairly mundane thought or situation will have little impact, although a person might slowly learn from it if it happens a lot. But when something is accompanied by emotions, the mind seems to take a lot more notice, and the stronger the emotion, the greater the effect. These are the things that seem to control what we do and how we respond and behave in different situations.

So if you can associate eating a new food with some really good feelings and emotions (not fear and terror!!) it will greatly speed up this new learning process.

The mind also seems to learn quicker when a person is feeling calm and relaxed. That’s how things like hypnosis work. It’s because when calm and relaxed, the mind is no longer on the look out for danger, and it becomes far more receptive to taking onboard new ideas.

Take care :)
Nigel

[allergyphobia]

thank you so much margaret and ann :hugs:. all of this means so much to me x x x

you're so wise, nigel! you're clearly respected here on the forums and it's easy to see why. thank you again for the sound advice, i will keep everybody updated as i go along but i hope i'm going forward now!!!

:yahoo:

[paula lynne]

mmmmmmmmmmmmm gammon! With pineapple or egg though?? Enjoy!! x:D

[allergyphobia]

got to be egg for me Paula, wish me luck!!! :unsure:

[allergyphobia]

Hi everybody just thought i would update you...

So i went to the pub again last night and managed to eat gammon, egg and chips!

:yesyes:

The pub was really hot and busy but i just took it slow and picked my way through it... i felt pretty wobbly afterwards but the point is i DID it and i'm going to continue to build on my progress.....

:yahoo:

[JaneC]

That is just unbelievable allergy! :emot-highfive:

[allergyphobia]

thank you so much jane! :hugs:

going to do the same again next week, and i'm going to write a plan for the next two weeks to do a challenge every day, whether it's letting somebody else cook me dinner, or having a cup of tea at work, or eating some chips in a different pub!

I'm starting to get determined that i will beat this thing! :yahoo:

[Hazel B]

Well done, you should be so proud of yourself.

You can beat it.

:yesyes:

[Nigel]

I’m so pleased to read this :D
Well done You!!! :yahoo:

See... I said it’s amazing how quickly the mind can learn! :winks:

[ljd]

well done be proud of yourself small steps and ur get there tc

[allergyphobia]

thank you SO much everybody. i can't tell you how much of a boost it gives me to come on here and read your "well done"'s... it really does help so so much.

I'm off to brighton for a little trip away this weekend with my boyfriend, so i'm aiming to try and eat a little bowl of chips in another new environment. i'm not going to let this phobia stop me from living a normal life anymore, i just can't! i have been this way now since april, and i want to get stronger and stronger so this time next year i'm dining out regularly on my boyfriends credit card!! :winks:

thank you for ALL of your support.. i will probably update again after Brighton as sharing my progress really seems to be spurring me on :hugs:

[JaneC]

Hope you have a lovely weekend - you deserve it after all the progress you've made xx

[allergyphobia]

Hope you have a lovely weekend - you deserve it after all the progress you've made xx

awwhh thank you so much jane... i'm hoping we get some snow and get stranded so don't have to come back to work!!! :winks:

you have a lovely weekend too.
amber x x

[allergyphobia]

hi everybody!

So i went to brighton and had a lovely time :smile:. I used all the cutlery, pots and pans etc without freaking out and washing them beforehand...

and the biggest success of the weekend was having a bowl of chips in a little pub - so eating food in a place i had never been before! :yesyes: it might not sound much to most but to me it is a big achievement.

off for gammon and chips again on wednesday... and hopefully going to try something else this week, had my CBT session yesterday and got to do lots of list writing and planning for my next two weeks.

Keep smiling everyone

Amber x x x

[allergyphobia]

tonight i am skipping the pub because of the snow... so because i need to do something else, i am going to try.... SAUSAGES... i am terrified... please wish me some luck.. i know how stupid this sounds to all of you but they have lots of different ingredients in and they're a scary one for me.. i haven't had them for ages, lots of herbs spices etc...

I'll keep you posted :unsure:

[anthrokid]

Hey sweetheart!

That's absolutely brilliant news! I am so so so happy that you're getting better :) I'm so sorry I haven't been around lately, busiet couple of months of my life! So wonderful to hear things are looking up for you though. Keep strong my love, you're doing an amazing job!

[anthrokid]

And in regards to the suasages I completely understand how you're feeling! Wishing you a million good lucks :) You will be absolutely fine! I went out to an African restaurant the other night and ate some food that I had absolutely no idea what it was!

[paula lynne]

Well done, Amber you are doing FANTASTIC!! x:yesyes:

[allergyphobia]

Thanks Paula... your support means a lot!!

Amiee so lovely to hear from you! have been wondering about you, how did you exams go??? so pleased to hear you are doing so well....

Those sausages went down with no problems! as i was cooking them i was starving and they smelt great so i didnt actually panic at all!

on the agenda next is carrots, butternut squash and cauliflower as next friday i am supposed to be going to this formal works meal. i am PETRIFIED... i have arranged for no celery or nuts to be in my dishes but that isn't convincing enough for me and the formal aspect of not being able to escape, being with people i hardly feel comfortable around etc is just completely putting me off...

it just feels a bit like too much too soon, or am i just wimping out?? should i really be pushing myself on this? i don't know... :shrug:

[Hazel B]

Small steps, go with your instinct.

Well done!

:yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:

[allergyphobia]

today i managed to sit in the hairdressers whilst he used latex gloves. i wound myself up about this last time i went and told him i couldnt let him use them. he'd obviously forgotten this time and used them, and i got through it surprisingly okay!! and now, i know im not going to have a reaction as ive had latex right up to my face!!!!

take that, panic!

[Hazel B]

Great, you're doing so well!

:yesyes:

[Nigel]

Exactly...
Take that, panic!

And I hope you gave it a damned good kick up the *?#~!! as you were saying it :yahoo:

I like reading your posts now.
Long may this continue :yesyes:

Nigel

[allergyphobia]

Thank you so much Hazel and Nigel x x x your support means a lot.

i'm still not sure what to do about the works meal on Friday... i bought some butternut squash today, but it's just sitting in the fridge staring at me, at the moment! :winks:

[allergyphobia]

OK tonight this butternut squash it getting the life boiled out of it, then mashed into oblivion, so it slips down the throat without bothering me at all!!!

arghhhh!!! (that's a battle cry). xxx

[Hazel B]

Hey, you're braver than me, I hate the stuff!:D

Keep kicking that worry up the a~*% !

[allergyphobia]

I managed to eat the dreaded butternut squash! my boyfriend cooked me a meal, and we put it on a seperate plate on the side of the table, so when i was ready i could brave a spoonful! first of all i buried it under gravy... so i couldn't taste anything... then a couple of minutes later, i tried some on it's own, and it didn't taste of anything (haha!)... i actually didn't like the taste, but i am soo pleased i ate it....... going to eat it again before friday, maybe make a soup.

so cauliflower and carrot next, if i can eat those then i think i am going to go ahead with this works meal on friday... even if it takes me a bottle of vodka to get out of the house!!!!!!!

:yesyes:

[anthrokid]

My exams went really well thank you, I passed them all pretty well so it was a massive achievement considering at the start of the year I thought I wouldn't kast more than a couple of weeks because of my panic attacks and crazy anxiety!

I just wrote a big success post if you can be bothered reading it to see how all my stuffs been going!

It's so great to read about how well you are going love :) I don't even know what butternut squash is but it sounds quite intimidating to me. New things are always intimidating! You're doing such a great job! I really hope you do go through with Friday and everything goes swimmingly! I'm so proud of you!

[allergyphobia]

Thanks so much amiee!!! Going to reply to your post shortly, am SO pleased to read it!!!!!!!

Last night i ate carrots for the first time since April!!!!! tonight i'm going to make a stew with butternut squash again and carrots... butternut squash is like a squash/pumpkiny thing but it's in the same family as the walnut and that REALLY intimidated me!!

I am so pleased. Last night was hard but not too overwhelming, but i need to do it again so i don't think it's a fluke! Then i had a nightmare I was choking on a carrot...haha...

Today i'm sipping away at my cup of tea i made using all the stuff at work, not stuff i've brought in from home... i *can* do this.

thank you again :hugs:

[anthrokid]

Oh love that's brilliant!

You can definitely do this, you ARE doing this :)

[allergyphobia]

thank you!!! cauliflour cheese on the menu tonight too, mmmm :yahoo:

[allergyphobia]

i don't want to run before i can walk... but i just ate carrots and butternut squash again, and had cauliflower too. before this week i hadn't eaten any of these since april!!!! i am beyond chuffed!!!!! :D

[Nigel]

This is really brilliant progress :yahoo:
See...
Told you the mind can learn really quickly given a little bit of positive thinking and the right motivation.

I can sense a change of username coming up soon :winks:

Well done :hugs:
Nigel

[allergyphobia]

awhhh thanks so much Nigel! i love reading your posts, they really do pep me up! i am really pleased, and i am going to go for it on Friday... you're definitely right about the mind, and i *am* going to make it re-learn all the silly things i've taught it over these past 9 months... hey remember for 22/3 years all those things you have been managing to eat without DYING!? silly girl i am. no, silly anxiety i mean!!! :ohmy:

Thanks again Nigel xx:hugs:

[Nigel]

Thanks, it’s nice to know that something I said has made a difference :)

“hey remember for 22/3 years all those things you have been managing to eat without DYING!? silly girl i am. no, silly anxiety i mean!!!”

That’s so true. In fact most of these things aren’t rocket science – just good old common sense. It’s just that our mind does so much without us being aware of it, so we just go with what it decides is best. It's usually right, but sometimes not, and we need to take a step back and think about what’s really going on.

Take care,
Nigel

[allergyphobia]

Of course what you say makes a difference Nigel, you do so much on this forum :D

xx