:'( what am i going to do

[Ayame]

I left my job because i had a huge panic attacks relapse :(
i thought i would leave, sort myself out (my first counselling appt is soon) and then gradually ease myself into work by going voluntarily and building it up from there,
i thought this was a great idea..

i have tried to claim ESA but now my doctor is not being very nice to me, saying its not a good enough reason to not work and that it's 'not that easy' to give me a sick note as proof for the benefits office, so basically i'm not going to get one

so i'm going to have no money to support myself ATALL.
i live with my mum but this isn't the poiint. if i want to do voluntary work as a means of easing myself into full-time work, how the hell am i going to pay my bus fares?!?!
ive been using self help books and trying to gradually ease myself into situations, but my dr and the job center expect me to throw myself into fulltime work (doing that made me have a relapse because i did it under pressure and didnt take things SLOW, which is what im trying to do)

my dad lies about having depression because he is too lazy to get a job (i know he lies because he told me so), why is the system so unfair to people with genuine problems, im going to have go get a job :( part-time might be easier but how many of those are around :shrug:

[miss_moose]

I'm sor sorry, what a terrible situation to find yourself in. Your doctor sounds like a right *bleep*.
Would you be able to join another surgery? I did that when my doctor was about as understading as yours.
If i were you, i'd go to a completely different surgery, and find a nice doctor who actually understands mental health.

The fact that you are having councelling should help your case, when I claimed incapacity, it helped that we had a letter from my therapist to back my case.

Take care xxx

[Nigel]

Hi Ayame,

Unfortunately some doctors aren’t very sympathetic about these things, and I suppose that isn’t helped when some people try to abuse the system. Everyone seems to get tarred with the same brush.

Perhaps, as Miss Moose suggested, you could find a different doctor who is more understanding of mental health issues. Also, when you start your counselling, could your counsellor write you a letter? He/she is going to understand the emotional issues far better than a doctor who takes a more medical view.

“if i want to do voluntary work as a means of easing myself into full-time work, how the hell am i going to pay my bus fares?!?!”

Dunno if this would be possible, but as they would be getting something for nothing, would they be prepared to help you out with bus fares if you explained the situation?

BYW, well done for being proactive in doing things to get better. Never lose sight of that, despite how the system works.

Take care :)
Nigel

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Ayame I really feel for you in your situation. I have no experience of ESA but if you go to see another doctor at the practice they might be more sympqathetic. Unfortunately in the present economic climate part time jobs are very hard to come by. If you do manage to find something it may well be twilight shifts in a local supermarket which no-body else wants. If you are young there will be lots of questions as to why you want part-time work. Voluntary work is a good idea. In the past I have worked at our local hospice (not nursing but in the kitchen and hostessing. I also worked in a lunch club for the elderly. I have also worked in the geriatric ward of a hosptial feeding the patients. I was lucky because at the hospice they gave me loads of training and a refence at the end. Other people were really friendly so boosted my self confidence and did not ask lots of awkward questions. I hope things improve for you. EJ.

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Ayame,

Unfortunately some doctors aren’t very sympathetic about these things, and I suppose that isn’t helped when some people try to abuse the system. Everyone seems to get tarred with the same brush.

Perhaps, as Miss Moose suggested, you could find a different doctor who is more understanding of mental health issues. Also, when you start your counselling, could your counsellor write you a letter? He/she is going to understand the emotional issues far better than a doctor who takes a more medical view.

“if i want to do voluntary work as a means of easing myself into full-time work, how the hell am i going to pay my bus fares?!?!”

Dunno if this would be possible, but as they would be getting something for nothing, would they be prepared to help you out with bus fares if you explained the situation?

BYW, well done for being proactive in doing things to get better. Never lose sight of that, despite how the system works.

Take care :)
Nigel
Dear Nigel much as these people would like to help out they are usually charities themselves and not in a postion to help. If the voluntary work was performed in a Church setting they might be able to help out. EJ.

[ButterflyWings]

i dont know if this helps honey but i began feeling very "crazy" basically when i was 18 and i went to my GP to say i needed help as something was wrong etc, he was a complete waste of time , for years i struggled and when i turn 28ish i changed surgerys for a different medical reason , i came up against a few brick walls when i rang around trying to change, but i finally told the a receptionist that i felt my current GPs advice was not good for my health , after a couple of days waiting i got accepted, it was shortly after that i went to see one of the doctors there regarding my struggle to cope with my mental health and i was correctly diagnosed with agoraphobia , once you are in the system ( and probably with a diagnosis ) you get taken more seriously,
i agree that your doctor does sound like hes more for figures and pie charts than the wellbeing of his patients,

im my working life i have interacted with many GPs and some are all for the care and will go out of there way to make someone have a better life and some are all for shouting "NEXT"

[Anxious_gal]

doctors work for you, you pay them!!
I know we often feel intimidated.
I hope you can find a more compassionate doctor.
sometimes the younger ones are more understand of anxiety disorders.

[Nigel]

Dear Nigel much as these people would like to help out they are usually charities themselves and not in a postion to help. If the voluntary work was performed in a Church setting they might be able to help out. EJ.

Oh well... never mind.
Just a bit of wishful thinking I suppose...

I’ve never actually looked into voluntary work myself.

[ElizabethJane]

I've done a lot in my time. I don't need to but have thought about volunteering at the hospice and also at the night shelter but someone told me that the clients all smoke. It is a good way to ease yourself back into the work enviroment again. I know that Churches are usually charities also but might have access to more funds. We have specific 'charities' in our Church. Some have specific rules as to how the funds should be spent. I think that there is one called 'the White's Charity' Where I used to do voluntary work was at Elim and they will look after you and give you money if you really need it as well as food and clothing if necessary. Sometimes it is a simple thing such as finding someone who could give you a lift or borrowing a bike or even walking. There are always ways and means if you are really determined. You will probably be CRB checked. At the Church I was doing voluntary work alongside people who were on community service because they had committed crimes. This did not cause me any problems. No-body asked any questions about my life history. EJ.

[ElizabethJane]

I have a bit more to add. The best places to do voluntary work are where they will train you and where you will feel made welcome and be making a valid contribution to the life and work of a place. Institutions that are used to having volunteers are best. You might be able to work the hours that you want but when I worked at the hospice they wanted people to go in in the evening specifically to cook the suppers for the patients. I was never left on my own or in a situation that I couldn't cope with. There was a volunteers co-ordinator and there were specific 'jobs' that were needed to be done within the hospice. The reason why they used many volunteers was to keep the cost down. If somebody was very poorly we were not allowed to enter that room. The other volunteers were very supportive and it was quite a little community. Volunteering isn't about doing the jobs other people won't do and it has the same committment and hours as a normal job would have. EJ.

[Vixxy]

Find yourself a new supportive doctor! That's complete tosh that having panic attacks isn't a good enough reason to not work!
I know I couldn't hold down a job because I'm exhausted just trying to get through a normal day. Anxiety makes everything ten times harder and more exhausting!
You sound like a sensible person, so god only knows why your doc feels the need to knock you down. You obviously want a little bit of support to get you on your feet and he should help you with that.