Bad day before 7am

[Ducky85]

Morning all, i leave the 'good' out as so far this is a bad day and it's not even 7am.

Just feel the need to vent some issues i have, not so much for a long discussion but moreso because 'getting it off my chest' is helping.... what a great phrase 'get it off your chest'... im sure all of us with ectopics would love to do that literally.

Here we go then, my rant and self pity that i'm hoping once shared will leave me, at least for a little while (here's hoping).
Last night i joined this site and it gave me such hope that i could beat my anxiety... then my bubble of comfort was burst by a man i live with whom i have never got on with, and never think i will. And as usual my anxiety levels stepped up a notch (or ten), i went to bed anxious, which is not a good thing for a healthy nights sleep, but it's become normal to me that i need to try switch off when all my senses are heightened. Something i know so many people here are experts on.
Well, 7 hours on and i'm awake. I know ...7 HOURS a great nights sleep, but no, i feel like a haven't slept a wink. So i get up, and greeted by another family member getting ready for work and telling me how my anxiety is giving them a burden because of all the other things they have to deal with and to have to worry about me and my anxiety is yet "more s%£t" to deal with... yep you guessed it.... my heart was already pounding but now.... here come the ectopics. Great, knowing the stress my anxiety is so affecting someone i love is yet another catch 22....the anxiety sets off ectopics... the anxiety affects loved one.... loved one becomes frustrated and snaps.... this sets off more anxiety and thus more ectopics.... sometimes i wonder if it would be better to just become a total recluse, not have contact with anyone so we can do each other a favour, i would not have increased anxiety, and my anxiety would not affect others. But no, this is the path to social anxiety. AARRGGHH. Even now, i am all alone, yet my ectopics are coming thick and fast, i know they just have to be ignored/accrepted but my god they are bad today. In fact they are the worst they have ever been. It is hard to understand for me... i have an amazing supportive boyfriend who i plan to move in with soon, i have good although very stressful job and have 2 weeks before i transfer to a department i always wanted to work in so thats good, i have nothing particular to be anxious about..... it is the anxiety itself which is the key.
Im sure my woes sound all too familiar and yep i certainly have the same issues as the majority here.... a vicious circle with ectopic beats..... but why is it i feel so alone??

Enough of my rambling and self pity, it's not changing the fact that my ectopics are having a field day... oh for a quick fix... we live in hope.

Love to all those affected by the monster called anxiety.
Ducky xx

[dodo]

I just wanted to come on and say that someone is here. I know not a lot of peole are in at this time of day and that can make you feel worse because no one has answered you.

It sounds like you're having a really tough time at the moment and you need to ignore those horrible comments even though that is hard.

What I will say is that the mere fact the ectopics have started since thus happened surely reinforces the fact they are stress related. Your still in a tizz so they will carry on as long as you feel that way.

Try and find something to take your mind off it. Even if it's watching tv. I know that's hard but you need some distraction.

[Ducky85]

Thank you dodo....
The very fact i'm on here writing is making them better, the wonder of distraction eh!!
I am positive it is all anxiety related, and reading my own rant back i realised i am in denial. I do have things causing my anxiety, i have recognised them, therefore i can go about adjusting my life to make them less of a risk. Amazing what a random rant can do.
I came back to the post to ask a question which i am just curious about...
I have heard that palps/ectopics can be made to feel lesser by getting rid of gas.. burping etc. I have a hiatus hernia and acid reflux but recently have found it very hard to burp..... anyone have any ideas/experience of this??

Once again many thanks for your feedback/support :)
Ducky x

[dodo]

Well I can tell you when I was looking into a cause for my acid reflux I came across hiatus hernia and it said one of the symptoms was palpitations.

I am very confused though as my dr has said in no uncertain terms that gas cannot cause palpitations or skipped beats.

I just don't know what to believe. She says I an clutching at straws trying to find a reason for my skipping when the real reason is anxiety. But why can I feel welling in my tummy and I keep burping all day long?

[Ducky85]

hmm, i think it's because the gas itself does not cause the palps but if you're feeling bloated etc it can make palps feel stronger, thats what i have found anyway. I have taken some omeprazole this morning as my acid was bad, my palps seem to have eased a bit but i don't know if it's because of the ppi or because i'm handling my anxiety a bit better today :/
It makes me laugh when doctors say/imply about clutching at straws, because if there was one specific cause and a treatment/cure for this thing then sufferers wouldn't have to.... but such is the nature of the beast. :/

[Vixxy]

Hi Ducky. I've been in a very similar position. I had to move home to live with my parents because my anxiety got so bad I was unable to look after myself. I would have sat in a dark room and starved to death if they hadn't come and got me!
However my dad suffers with depression himself and me being ill and anxious means my mum gives me a lot of attention and help. Even to her own detriment because she has health problems too. So I'm already feeling guilty that I had to move home, and invade their personal space, that I'm like a baby needing care and that my mum is putting herself out for me. And then my dad would lay on the guilt trip about all those things which would make my anxiety much much worse. Which would as you point out leave everyone in a catch 22 situation.
My advice is to ask a close member of your household to sit with you and discuss as calmly as you can how you feel and how you know you're putting strain onto them and how you would like to get past them feeling frustrated and you feeling more anxious!

[Ducky85]

Hi Vixxy, thanks for the post.
Completely agree with that, however, i moved home a few years ago due to health problems but got through it and went to university while i was back home as was cheaper. Not had many problems since then apart from the friction with my mums' partner who has been around for 15 years and we've never seen eye to eye. He was the reason i moved out to begin with, so coming back and staying al these years is starting to take it's toll. My mum, bless her, i know when she says to me about her own stress levels etc it is not because she doesn't care or want to be involved, but like you have said in your circumstance, my mum has a history of depression, has suffered a breakdown many years ago and now actually works supporting others with mental health problems, i feel bad that she goes to work and deals with it all day then comes home to me and my issues and the tension between myself and her partner... she feels like a piggy in the middle, so i can understand why it is hard at the moment. I am hopefully moving out with my boyfriend after christmas so hopefully alot of the anxiety will go as my boyfriend is my rock and knows how to keep me calm and even if i have an attack he pulls me through it.
Do you have the support of others to turn to other than your family? Maybe your dad laying on a guilt trip is possibly a sign of him feeling helpless as he has his own demons to deal with and possibly even his own guilt, just a thought but of course i don't presume to know your life from one post lol.
Hope you are battling on :)