moomintroll
23-11-10, 17:01
Will try to keep this short and uncomplicated!!
A year ago this month (or so!) I suddenly without warning got severe anxiety/depression...more depression in the end but started with anxiety. I have no idea what kick started it but it was put down by the doc as a reactive depression due to bullying at work and various other stresses. Now strangely, it all started when I was stood in my boyfriend's (now ex boyfriend - as mentioned in Virtual Hugs!) kitchen and I suddenly felt very low and depressed, I panicked and it then spiralled completely out of control, with me thinking I had gone off him and didn't love him anymore etc. It was almost as if my mind was telling me I needed to end the relationship and that I was trapped etc etc. I then started to feel completely numb and was doubting everything about me/my life/my feelings, even my sexuality! Anyway, I started taking Citalopram in Jan and slowly but surely I became me again, and all my 'normal' feelings returned (ironic really given that my relationship has now ended anyway!).
This is where I am starting to worry now..Now that I am single again, the thought suddenly popped into my head the other night that I am getting that way again, because there is a guy who is chatting to me (used to know from school many years ago) and I almost feel repulsed/trapped because he is coming on quite strong, but at the same time I like him (just attraction). I am in no way wanting a relationship as I am hurting desperately and missing my ex of 3.5 years - it has only been a month since the break up.
I suppose my question is, is it normal to feel this way given that I have just split up with ex, or it the depression that gives me those feelings of 'I feel trapped/need to get away from this relationship (or in this case just person who is chatting me up!). When I don't think about it I don't feel so bad, but then I start thinking I am going to feel the same way again as I did last year, and then I start feeling these feelings again. Am now worried the Citalopram are stopping working due to my relationship breakdown.
Sorry, I know this post isn't particularly coherent - I am finding it difficult to explain the feelings I had/have!
:shrug:
A year ago this month (or so!) I suddenly without warning got severe anxiety/depression...more depression in the end but started with anxiety. I have no idea what kick started it but it was put down by the doc as a reactive depression due to bullying at work and various other stresses. Now strangely, it all started when I was stood in my boyfriend's (now ex boyfriend - as mentioned in Virtual Hugs!) kitchen and I suddenly felt very low and depressed, I panicked and it then spiralled completely out of control, with me thinking I had gone off him and didn't love him anymore etc. It was almost as if my mind was telling me I needed to end the relationship and that I was trapped etc etc. I then started to feel completely numb and was doubting everything about me/my life/my feelings, even my sexuality! Anyway, I started taking Citalopram in Jan and slowly but surely I became me again, and all my 'normal' feelings returned (ironic really given that my relationship has now ended anyway!).
This is where I am starting to worry now..Now that I am single again, the thought suddenly popped into my head the other night that I am getting that way again, because there is a guy who is chatting to me (used to know from school many years ago) and I almost feel repulsed/trapped because he is coming on quite strong, but at the same time I like him (just attraction). I am in no way wanting a relationship as I am hurting desperately and missing my ex of 3.5 years - it has only been a month since the break up.
I suppose my question is, is it normal to feel this way given that I have just split up with ex, or it the depression that gives me those feelings of 'I feel trapped/need to get away from this relationship (or in this case just person who is chatting me up!). When I don't think about it I don't feel so bad, but then I start thinking I am going to feel the same way again as I did last year, and then I start feeling these feelings again. Am now worried the Citalopram are stopping working due to my relationship breakdown.
Sorry, I know this post isn't particularly coherent - I am finding it difficult to explain the feelings I had/have!
:shrug: