Laurie28
08-03-04, 10:44
I have noticed that there is alot of 'new' people in this forum so I thought I would share a wee story and hopefully it may help someone !!!
When my anxiety 'peaked' before I found this forum I thought I was going insane, really mentally disturbed.
I remember catching my relection in the mirror when I was having a panic and i have never seen anyone looking soo scared
here are a few instances
one night my little boy came into my room and told me our fronto door was open (he has a habit of sleepwalking) and instaed of assuming it was him who opened the door (it obviously was) I thought it was me!!
After that I barricaded myself in my room at night and put 'trip hazards 'on the floor so if I was sleepwalking I would wake myself up falling over them. this lasted for about a fortnight until I had to remove the trip hazards as I knew i was making mysel 'iller'.
I remember i found a t-towel under the sink and freaked as i thought I was having blackouts and doing things and not remembering them (even though i had obviously been doing too many things at one and just put it under by accident!!)
I hid sharp objects from myself incase I hurt myself or others - I was scared I would flip and hurt me or my kids and I was petrified I had manic depression and I had seen loving mothers on the news do just that. I even contemplated phoning someone and asking them to take the kids away incase I hurt them ( I have never hurt my kids but I was really scared I was going insane - I remember saying to my partner I would rather die than hurt them but I was soo convinced I was going'insane' my partner could not understand that I didn't want to die and wasn't suicicial but really petrified I was 'losing it'
I remember little things like going through traffic lights and then questionig whether it was really green!!!
These are just a few examples in the end I phoned the health visitor and she came straight to see me. I told her I was having an nervous breakdown and my fears of hurting someone if I flipped. She told me if I was going insane i wouldn't think I was as she knew I was no threat to anyone. In the end I took 3 weeks of work as even though work wasn't a problem It was one extra stress I didn't need (I would go home crying and take panic attacks regularly at work)
I wasn't and am not going insane but I do remember the fear I felt. Please believe me when I say you are not going insane.
I'm getting better all the time even though I have my good and bad days (before I had only bad days)
I hope this helps someone
Love
lucky
When my anxiety 'peaked' before I found this forum I thought I was going insane, really mentally disturbed.
I remember catching my relection in the mirror when I was having a panic and i have never seen anyone looking soo scared
here are a few instances
one night my little boy came into my room and told me our fronto door was open (he has a habit of sleepwalking) and instaed of assuming it was him who opened the door (it obviously was) I thought it was me!!
After that I barricaded myself in my room at night and put 'trip hazards 'on the floor so if I was sleepwalking I would wake myself up falling over them. this lasted for about a fortnight until I had to remove the trip hazards as I knew i was making mysel 'iller'.
I remember i found a t-towel under the sink and freaked as i thought I was having blackouts and doing things and not remembering them (even though i had obviously been doing too many things at one and just put it under by accident!!)
I hid sharp objects from myself incase I hurt myself or others - I was scared I would flip and hurt me or my kids and I was petrified I had manic depression and I had seen loving mothers on the news do just that. I even contemplated phoning someone and asking them to take the kids away incase I hurt them ( I have never hurt my kids but I was really scared I was going insane - I remember saying to my partner I would rather die than hurt them but I was soo convinced I was going'insane' my partner could not understand that I didn't want to die and wasn't suicicial but really petrified I was 'losing it'
I remember little things like going through traffic lights and then questionig whether it was really green!!!
These are just a few examples in the end I phoned the health visitor and she came straight to see me. I told her I was having an nervous breakdown and my fears of hurting someone if I flipped. She told me if I was going insane i wouldn't think I was as she knew I was no threat to anyone. In the end I took 3 weeks of work as even though work wasn't a problem It was one extra stress I didn't need (I would go home crying and take panic attacks regularly at work)
I wasn't and am not going insane but I do remember the fear I felt. Please believe me when I say you are not going insane.
I'm getting better all the time even though I have my good and bad days (before I had only bad days)
I hope this helps someone
Love
lucky