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ashley
17-03-06, 23:36
In need of help for my dearest cousin , who is actually going through hell at present and i am very concerned for her.

She has been married to her husband for 4 years,and they have shared a beautiful relationship- always had a very close marriage, what i would consider very inlove.. never apart from each other , and when they ever was apart was always on the phone-- i mean inlove.
Her husband has always been a kind, caring,considerate,and surportive husband in every way possible.
In the last six weeks, she had notice a change in him- he became very distant, avoiding her, and often aggressive.
But then in the last two weeks he told her on a number of occassions, that he wanted to kill himself,and he had been seeing things that wernt there.
He has told her to leave, to pack her bags and go- and when she does... he retracts his words and wants her to stay.He says he is confused, under pressure, dont want any responsibilty of life anymore, he is depressed, he has showed no emotions, and at times has had certain visons.. remember that this is an ordinary straight down the middle kinda guy.
He has recently been seen by the local mental health team, who said he is possibley having nervous breakdown.( what are the symtoms for this anyway)

He did lose his dad two years ago to cancer and his brother 8 years ago to a brain tumour... he had a scan for his head last year to may headaches he was getting-- but this was fine.
Last night after many uncomtatable ones, he flipped out - for the first time at her in his life after four years, and threw her out into the street ,into the cold and dark, because the mental health vistor was coming and he didnt want her present, once he came out side he reversed his car into her... and did actually hurt her...she was in a state.
He tells her , that he needs to get away from the house, work , everyone , including her... he says he needs space.. but he is still going back to the house when she is not there, still going to work,and still having his son over...and she feels that he has completey singled her out of his life at the moment, wont take her calls , and on the rare occassions she has spoke to him, he has gone in to one, dosnt want to answer any questions, and hangs up on her.
Is this the normal reaction to someone that is having a nervous breakdown??
why is there so much hatred there for her, she feels that he hates her, and is ok with everyone else--- it donst make sense ,, she cant understand why such a lovley average guy.. would change so much to wards her, she is absoulty devastated..
He has been on prozac for five days, and has been worse since he has been on them..
This girl is in bits...please give your advice for my cousin ...poor thing.


Love ash xxxxx

and many thanx from leanda x

Trish
18-03-06, 00:57
Ashley I have no answers i'm sorry, but it is still early days for the meds, maybe when they do kick in things may get easier for your cousin husband, and your cousin...i really do hope so.

I am sure someone will be along soon with some helpful advice.

Until then i will be thinking of you all.

Best wishes

Trish

jackie
18-03-06, 09:10
ash i too have no answers but it does seem that both of them are going through hard times. if the love is there then i am sure given space they will reunite if it is meant to be

i dont know what to do for the best but if it was me i might give him the space to figure out what is wrong. crowd him and he may resent it and move further away

im not sure ash , but we are thinking of both of you and im sure you will be able to help more than us

well done for caring
jackie

Southern_Belle
18-03-06, 16:37
Ash,

I too don't know if I can help as this sounds like he is going through serious trouble right now. Did he run the car into your cousin on purpose or was it an accident? If it was on purpose I suggest she definately stay away from him, she could really be in physical danger! I also thing he should see whoever gave him the meds to tell them how he feels like he is worse on them than better, some people can react badly to that drug. I think she needs to back off and give him some space until he calms down and gets the correct medication in him and when he feels more like himself then they can talk. It doesn't sound like to me that even if she talked to him right now he would be reasonable and she could be in danger. As they had a solid rock marriage before they have a stronger foundation to fall back on during these rough times. Hope it turns out o.k.

Bel

ashley
18-03-06, 21:29
Thanx guys for your replys, much noted--any more would be appreicated ...poor girl is so distraught, she is taliing about suicide...im so concerned..


ash(on behalf of her cousin leanda)