terror

[kar3n]

Hi, i am new to this site and don't know what i'm really ment to be doing :wacko: . Years ago i suffered from extreme panic attacks and became hospitalized due to these panic attacks and them making me very depressed, they would show up out of the blue engulf my mind and body with sheer terror. I was convinced i was going mad, they would last for days i couldn't sit i couldn't stand,sleep or eat, they caused me so much pain i attempted suicide twice. I was enrolled in a anxiety management course and with help from medication i finally seemed to over come them:yesyes: . But throughout the past 6 years they have seemed to seep back into my life i have coped by avoiding the places, situations where i would feel the symptoms and my worst fear would return this has cost me dearly emotionally and financially ( when you cant get on that plane at the airport to enjoy a nice holiday abroad) I have became freighted of heights and planes, boats,trains I've have became claustrophobic. I am terrified of being in a situation I'm not in control off and cant leave when panic sets in. Over the past 2 months i have tried to conquer my fears with the help and understanding of my new partner. I managed to climb up some high hills, went up in the lift to 13 floor building and week ago managed 2 flights to London and back. The return flight i started to panic but managed to hold it together as i knew the plane was descending and in 15 minutes id be getting off. This is where my problem starts... my new partner was so overjoyed with what i achieved but i think not truly understanding about my panic attacks, has booked a surprise holiday and we leave tomorrow:weep:. Iam so terrified the thought of 5 hours stuck in a plane having panic attack after panic attack with my mind going stir crazy, people watching, me probably begging for the plane to land as i need to get off. I cant keep doing this!!!! i just want to be normal and enjoy going on holiday and not let this perfect man down by not going.... Im ever so sad.

[Anxious_gal]

I understand by not letting people down, i feel the same but there are times when I know I just need to put myself first.
it's not a weakness to have anxiety, even the strongest person will be cared if they experience a panic attack.
you seemed to have done a good bit, 2 flights and an elevator, so well done , we here know that was not easy for you.
people do have the assumption that we are suddenly better because we are able to do a few more normal things.
I don't know about you, but i do my best to hide my anxiety from boyfriends, although eventually they do figure out something is up when i won't go on long journeys.
is it just the flight your worried about? do you have medication to help relax you/

[bottleblond]

Hi Kar3n

Welcome along to NMP! :flowers:

You poor thing. That's a very difficult situation to be in.
Is there any chance you could pop along to see your GP before your flight?.


Lisa
x

[ElizabethJane]

:welcome:Hi Kar3n stay calm. Try to build on what you have achieved. someone on here once suggested a small bag of items that will help you to stay focused if you do start to panic. These could include your ipod, some rescue remedy, peppermints, chewing gum (helps me a lot and provides a distraction, puzzle book. I'm sure that you will have items that you will want to add. I'm not sure what therapy you have had in the past but affirmations also help me such as: 'every day I am becoming more and more relaxed' or just repeating one word such as 'relax' can be helpful and allowing the panic to wash over you. I hope that you have a really lovely holiday and let us know how you get on when you come back. EJ.

[Anxious_gal]

found some other posts about flying, thought they might be helpful x
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=80479&highlight=flying
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=79197&highlight=flying
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=78997&highlight=flying

[Ambers]

Hi Karen, I can completely understand your fears and that you have done brilliantly so far - ElizabethJane had some good suggestions, what if you try and break the journey down in hours - set yourself some goals. The first hour you will do a puzzle, the second you will listen to music...and so on. I know that I have used similar in the past to get pass a particulary long journey. But I do know it is hard - and like you I have nearly begged to get off. Although my husband is very supportive, he doesn't really understand, and if I achieve a small goal he suddenly thinks I am cured. I do hide the extent of my fears from him too...thinking that is actually quite normal after joining this forum.

Just a thought - could you show him this thread - it may help?

Good Luck, I really hope you manage to get on that plane and have a wonderful holiday. I am going to get back on one next year :)