Acceptance

[Dragonsblonde]

Hi all

Have been a member on here a while, but usually live in the Citalopram section. Have suffered with Anxiety for at least 3 years now, probably longer as I wouldn't have recongnised it any earlier.

This year I bit the bullet and went onto Citalopram 20mg which has helped a lot. Have also been trying some Mindfulness Meditation, The Dr Claire Weekes book and halfway through a course of CBT.

Am currently going through a blip and feeling anxious again although not as bad as I have been in the past. It has got be to wondering about the principle of acceptance though. I thought I had accepted it, but of course now I am *blipping* I am thinking too much again! lol

I am interested in others experiences of acceptance and if you ever found a "eureka" moment or know when you have started to truly accept it. What do you do when you accept?

[paula lynne]

Hi, Ive had panic and anxiety for 10 years, agoraphobia about 9 years. After several goes of anti-dep, valium, alcohol, paranoid thoughts etc...about 6 years ago I stopped everything. This allowed the anxiety and agro to really take over me...but has allowed me to take it full force, then slowly recover.

My eureka moment was reading claire weekes and listening to susan jeffers on tape...acceptance is the key. We cant fight something we cant see. As claire weekes says, you need to get to a point where "you dont care whether or not you have palpatations, dizzyness, trembling..." or whatever.

I still get blips, and when I do, I simple re-read the important bits of claire weekes or listen to parts of susan jeffers tapes. Also, this site has been invaluable to me, as Ive met so many friends to just share my day with.

When you accept, "it" loses its power over you. Its like, as soon as you stop fearing "It", it starts to shrivel up.......like not putting petrol in a car, the car starts to stall...do you understand? I dont think Im explaining this very well (sorry, I have flu).

Acceptance for me means saying out loud..."Ok so what...not what if?"

[joannap]

totally agree with paula (ps - hope you feel better soon!)

i came off my ssri 6 wks ago - spent the weekend before last in tears but finally decided to give recovery as long as it needs - my eureka moment came with realising i cannot "think" my way out of/control it/force it to get better - that it will not go overnight and nor should i expect it too. i am kind of "growing" into recovery and acceptance really does mean that whatever your body/mind does - you just have to allow it to do it and try not to get upset over it - to understand it is having a tantrum but to let it get on with it! xx

[Dragonsblonde]

I think you have both explained yourselves really well to be honest. I have struggled with what acceptance actually is or means to me, but looking at what you have written it is starting to make some sense now I hope.

I do overanalyze things way too much I know and am lucky to have a husband who stands beside me at all times. He has pointed out to me that I think about it too much, keep asking myself the same questions over and over again as if I can find the one thing that will fix me. Logically I know I won't find that lol

This blip is different to the full blown attacks, am anxious in the mornings and kind of slumped in the afternoons which is better than the 24/7 madness from last time so maybe I am making inroads into it

All of my thoughts and best wishes to you both though on the road to recovery x

[paula lynne]

All the best to you too, and how lucky we both are that we have understanding supportive hubbys! It really makes such a difference.
When you get the thoughts or negative feelings, you could try what I do....
In a little notepad, write out positive affermations in big, clear letters, such as.....

I AM A STRONG AND WORTHY PERSON
I AM SAFE AND I AM LOVED
I AM GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY
I AM PUSHING THROUGH MY FEARS
I WILL HANDLE IT

you get the picture, something that works for you. My personal fav is my signiture about ships in harbour (Im pushing through agoraphobia).....anyway, when the "what ifs" or negative thoughts pop up, get out your little note pad and read read read...sometimes out loud if appropriate.

I will you all the best with your journey back to wellness, nice to meet you.x

[Dragonsblonde]

Have to admit I haven't heard of Susan Jeffers before, but may try having a bit of a look later on.

There is just such a world of books and cds out there it is a minefield of trying to get decent ones! I have a mindfulness meditation MP3, but have been checking out others to see if there is any difference between them. Wondered also about the self hypnosis, but from what I have read it seems the meditation is supposed to work better

[happycamper]

Hi DB,

See the post I just put on Top Tips, just been listening to Radio 2, acceptance was one of the big things the psychiatrist Tim Cantopher said was essential for recovery! I'm going to order his book on-line - details in my Top Tips thread!

Clare x

[lizzie29]

Hi

I think acceptance is paramount, but it is hard! I sometimes find myself getting anxious and then I worry about being anxious! Obviously this is a bit of a vicious circle! I now try to think "right, I'm anxious, so what" and I try to liken it to having a headache or something. It's not nice, but you just accept it. If I had a headache I wouldn't be worrying about having one, I'd just try to forget about it and carry on.

Hope this makes sense! x

[joannap]

hi dragonsblonde and paula

my husband is great too (so is my mum lol) - andy says to me - ohh - mushy pea again! meaning my brain is having a flip out and sometimes he holds me down and shouts pea extraction! which always makes me laugh.

its has taken me AGES to accept - i think accepting is the most hardest initial step. from 2 weeks ago where i felt like i was having another breakdown i would say i am the same - feel fragile all day - worse in the morning but can have patches of the day where i feel tons better and can even feel quite positive.

i can totally go with over analyzing things - i have to keep reminding myself that i cannot fix myself by thinking about it - there is no "answer" you will come up with but i still fall into the trap of trying! my gp has told me to take it one day at a time and even if i have a really bad day - that does not mean i am not gradually getting better.

[Dragonsblonde]

Hi Guys

I think everyone is so right on here, acceptance is such a key thing to us and yet so intangible to find, lol.

It is always oddly common to find that we struggle more in the morning than any other time. I have always put it down to the fact that first thing we apply the most pressure to ourselves, we see the day stretching ahead of us and without realisin it see it as a huge challenge. As we pass through each hour the pressure lessens I suppose.

I also think about thinking, panic about panic and get anxious about being anxious lol. I explain it to my husband as I am still blippy or just bonkers today - have to laugh about it sometimes and making fun of it makes it less frightening

[happycamper]

Hey again DB,

I know what you mean about getting anxious about being anxious...infact was thinking just about that on way home from work.

It's feels crazy, but one example is that I take omeprazole for stomach problems I think started during the most stressful time I've ever had 4 years ago, wondered if I had an ulcer or something. However I've tried to wean off them recently, but today a flicker of stomach pain returned and that was it - I panicked that I'd become all panicky again if those pains returned because I associate them with feeling really anxious and stressed. A ridiculous viscous circle...

Thought you'd like to hear you're not the only person who thinks too much about the wrong stuff...!

Clare X

[joannap]

hi happy camper - its all about separating the panic from the stomach pain for instance - to understand that yes - stomach pain is not nice but you don't need to panic about it.

i have had 5 months of stomach pain/acid and had an endoscopy recently. am on lansoprazole but panic about taking it - so the other way around lol - as although i am in a lot of discomfort - i don't like taking medication because in my opinion - it just causes more knock on effects etc. i've only been on it a week and thinking about stopping it!

[Dragonsblonde]

Just to make you all feel better about worries I will demonstrate how silly I can get at times....

When I upped my dosage to 20mg I had read all sorts of things about different brands of Cit having different effects on you so sure enough about 4 hours after taking my new named brand I realised I was burning hot all down my left hand side. Well you can imagine out came the panic the sweats _ I was about to keel over dead obviously......until I mentioned it to my colleague and she simply lean't over my shoulder and turned off the fan I had on only aimed at my right hand side!

Thinking about thinking about thinking.......just try not to laugh too hard xx

[Idstain]

Hi DB :) ,

my biggest eureka moment was when i realised that acceptance is not about thinking accepting thoughts, it's about getting behind the thoughts and seeing them for what they are.

To do that you need to get in touch with what's happening around you (awareness). Whether it be the in and out of your breath or just the water touching your skin when you are taking a shower. When my anxiety was high i'd find myself just trying to out think it which of course is hopeless. As you start to pay attention to the sensations you start to notice the thoughts as just thoughts and they lose so much of their power. Even thoughts like "this is stupid, meditation sucks" are just thoughts and it's a really enlightening experience when you first realise that.

Please keep on with the mindfulness meditation and i highly recommend buying this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Path-Self-compassion-Christopher-Germer/dp/1593859759/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1290958808&sr=8-1 . I only got it a month or so ago but it has been pretty life changing already and i think is excellent for people who tend to be very hard on themselves (anxious and depressive types)