Panic and control

[Amethyst69]

Hi all - from august last year after a number of stressful events (some of which had their roots prior to that) I felt my life was out of control. Some of it down to poor decision making on my part like moving home /staying in a crap relationship then having a fling with my ex to try get out of it and so on. I look back now and wonder what on earth I was doing but hindsight is a wonderful thing. However it had left me knocked sideways. I have always suffered with anxiety in stressful times and was on effexor 6 years ago following a nasty episode of depression/anxiety. I came off that stuff 3 years ago. Strangely though my anxiety started creeping back then coupled with the above I really lost control. I reacted to a hair removal cream - after that I got anxious about anything I put on my skin/hair etc (my grey needs covering and am struggling to buy a hair dye after years of being Ok with it!!). I had a panic on taking a painkiller and now think if I take anything I am going to panic. Unfortunately at my worst this attached its self to eating. Fortunately I manage to eat now but its a struggle accompanied with anxiety (though strangely I can eat fine in a morning!) and all I want is to stuff my face with the foods I love!!! I think its all about control but may be wrong so would love some thoughts on this and how I an overcome it all. I know I am going in the right direction but get so low about it (especially when 'hromonally challenged!') My irrrational mind thinks once I eat/take that tablet/dye my hair its done. Cant change it. And thats control? In the main I get on with life, work, dont take meds (obv!), but sometimes it feels like I cant cope with it (especially when I wake at daft o clock) I would really appreciate some thoughts on this and how I can keep going in the right direction and mend. Thanks x:)

[Ella_Jayne]

You're right, it's all about control and also acceptance. If you accept that what you have is anxiety and panic and that your fears can be irrational. Keeping positive is a big help too. I haven't overcome anxiety yet but I've come a long way and these things have helped me.

xxx :)

[Amethyst69]

Thanks Ella and I love the 'Keep Calm and Carry On' - a friend bought me a placemat with it on!!! I am awake at 4am feeling weepy - I dont know if some of this is depression too or if the anxiety is causing it - chicken and egg. I managed to take some paracetamol this weekend as I had a bad cold and guess what - I didnt go mad and didnt get too anxious. :) I am trying to keep positive and on the days i am I know I eat better. Its a slow process I guess but thanks for your support and kind words x

[gaaron]

Morning Amethyst69, I'm awake aswell! Terrible sleeper!

[Amethyst69]

Morning Gaaron - pants isn't it! I can get to sleep just fine but waking early though some days I can even get to 6am!!!!! Mind you last night I fell asleep far too early -vicious circle :shrug:

[gaaron]

oh dear! I've been awake all night. Tried on and off to get to sleep but have given up :)

[Amethyst69]

How do you cope? At least I have had 6hrs.

[gaaron]

zombie. I live on my own (no probs with that) so I don't have to worry about anyone else. -Except when people want me to do things in the day. I'm going to ask Doc for a couple of sleeping tabs just to try and start 'afresh'. But I don't know if I'd dare take them!

[Amethyst69]

I would give them a go maybe -I am at the point with things that I am even considering meds if things dont ease up for me. Been there before and I know they worked (though never taking effexor again) but not sure. Am going to sign off now cos feeling sleepy so going to grab a couple more hours before I hopefully get a call to say school is shut and i can have a day off!!!! Good to chat xxx

[pegdog]

Hi Amethyst69

I'm exactly the same - and I know it's about being out of control. I'm scared about a dental appt on 21/12 not because I'm scared of pain but of just laying back in the chair OUT OF CONTROL:weep:

My doctor gave me Propranolol three weeks ago to help with this but, guess what? Yep, I'm scared to take them. I was scared of hair dye but pride - and grey hair - got the better of me but I'm still nervy when I smell it. I'm too scared to go to the hairdresser and have my hair washed in the basin so I turn up with it wet - I have to pretend it's because of a bad neck :blush:

NONE of these things ever bothered me until about five years ago then everything happened at once and I've never been able to get over it - don't even know what caused it.

I'm sure you'll be fine with your hair dye - just remember you can wash it off whenever you like and it'll be gone - you're in control.

Good luck :bighug:

[Amethyst69]

Thanks and its good to know i am not alone though I wish neither of us felt this way. I am determined to deal with it though and understanding is half the battle. I just keep telling myself i usedto not even bother about things like hair dye and so can cope with whatever my body decides to throw at me when I get anxious or panic but its really tiring xxx

[Amethyst69]

Aaargh! Monday night driving home from Asda felt tired and was anxious obviously as it was icy and panic attack - thoughts were I am nowhere near home etc etc (had one like this in April right when things kicked off. Managed to calm down and rode through it with a bit of help from Fall Out Boy! Dentist this morning for scale and polish - no problem but felt a little anxious. This lunchtime had a walk bought some soup started eating that and the roll and wham - panic brought on by thought that 'oh my god I cant get that food back now' Stupid, ridiculous, irrational thought but enough to make me panic. That was ten mins ago and now calmer and feeling ridiculous. Had another bit of soup and thats ok cos I am distracting myself with work but I am really fed up :(

[allergyphobia]

hi amethyst,

sorry to hear you are struggling

if you read all my threads you will see you are definitely not alone, but with hard work and determination it will definitely get easier.

have you ever thought about CBT to help you work through this?

Take care,
AP x

[Amethyst69]

Thanks I will have a good read- been nibbling away at crisps for last ten mins and nothing.... its most annoying! I think I will mention it to my GP - I have been trying to work through it solo as most days am OK - breakfast I can eat like a horse - but a little help would go a long way!

Amethyst
x

[allergyphobia]

well you seem to have worked back from quite a dark place on your own.. i guess keep using those same techniques you know work for you. sometimes though confiding in someone can help you get a bit of a support network around you, and that can make you feel more secure :hugs:now get dying that hair!! just because you had a reaction to one thing, doesn't mean it is now going to happen with everything. if you are unsure, do a little patch test on your hand 24hours before using it on your head... you can do it :)

[ritblak]

This is all about acceptance and control as well. If you accept that what we have is anxiety and panic and fears can be irrational. Maintains a positive attitude is a great help too. I have yet to overcome anxiety, but I have come a long way and these things helped me.

[Amethyst69]

Hi folks and thanks for your positive replies. Had a mixed week but jsut now feeling much calmer. Had a couple of panic attacks last week both relating to being 'away' from home which were not very pleasant - the first on my way to a gig in Manchester with my son and his girlfriend. Ended up getting through the other side and had an amazing time! Felt a little anxious when there was a massive queue to get out of the car park but again breathed and distracted self. Same again this weekend when I had some time at the coast - 'oh god I am miles from home etc etc'. Rode it out had a quick cry adn then enjoyed the day. Am determined to get through this and positivity helps. And the support of good friends :)

[Amethyst69]

a little concerned about the comments by jhonsonels and harryblak - doesnt seem very helpful and the same post??? any moderators reading this??

[mavrikethan]

Panic is a very dangerous problem of the Earth. So, everything in this country need all the ministers make recommendations to overcome the panic. Or attacking humans destroy his life. So, everything is possible in the country.

[chatterbox]

hi pegdog
Im simalar to you,re dentist and hairdressers and never used to be till i turned 50.propananol is fine i have taken it for 5year it slows heart so at least it shant be racing when your nervous. take care all will be well Holly