Not believing challenging thoughts

[harasgenster]

Hi
I'm currently doing a free course of CBT called Beating the Blues. As part of the course I have to find inner beliefs and challenge them by thinking of alternatives. The course has already explained that this won't help if I don't believe any of the alternatives but it didn't really explain what to do if you can't think of any alternatives you believe.

Two of the inner beliefs I found were:
"If I'm not the prettiest/thinnest girl my boyfriend will wish he was with someone else" (I think this one might actually be "If I'm not the prettiest/thinnest girl in the room I am a lesser person".)

"If I'm not successful my life will not have purpose and I will be incapable of happiness".

I've managed to think of alternatives to challenge these thoughts - arguments against them - but I don't believe any of them and some of them actually make me feel worse! For instance, with the last one, if I try and tell myself I could be happy without finding success in the field I'm aiming for because I will still have many other things in my life I'm happy with, this just feels like settling for second best!

Has anyone else had trouble with this? How did you find challenging thoughts you believed?

Thanks

[Dragonsblonde]

Hi

I am on the same course as you and by the sounds of it am around the same stage in the course. I have found some of the excercises good, but like you am finding the challenging part a little difficult. I have probably discovered that most of my trouble stems from a problem I have about being in control and if I lose control just being unable to cope and then slipping away into anxiety forever.

I have tried to challenge it by saying that no-one can control everything, in the past when I have not been in control things have worked out. Part of my brain also kicks back at me though with if things had worked out properly I wouldn't be where I am now.

Not sure what the answer is to be honest, so am not of much help other than letting you know other people do struggle. Am assuming you are getting telephone support calls? if so try chatting it over with them

[harasgenster]

Telephone support calls? Nope! You might be using the course through a different service :)

It's comforting to hear other people are in the same boat. Maybe it's just a case of saying the same thing to yourself over and over.

Do you also have trouble coming up with an action after you've challenged thoughts? I think it's harder with less tangible problems like fear of not being in control. It's not like something like debt where you can use the problem solving exercise! I'm struggling with that exercise as well because it's often like I'm so stressed about doing things I can't do them - it's been difficult to think of bitesized steps to overcome that!