fairywishes
30-11-10, 10:53
Im new here so please be gentle (i only just came across this forum) :hugs:
I have had various phobias/anxieties/troubles/worries ever since i was in primary school and im now 27. I had lots of friends at primary school but was still very shy. But my shyness progressed all through secondary school because I used to get bullied all the time and didnt have many friends so think this made it worse. I went through secondary school with anxieties, social phobia, extreme shyness, a bit of monophobia etc but back then i didnt know i had any of these. I thought it was just me as it seemed just me. No one else displayed anything like what i was suffering from so I thought why me, why have i got something wrong with me.
It wasnt until a few years ago in a bad relationship that i finally found out about social phobia, social anxiety related problems. My ex didnt understand and thought i was ignorant and lazy and my parents didnt understand and thought it was pure laziness and that i should learn to grow up as i wasnt a kid anymore. i couldnt leave the house without my parents and although i walked to school on my own when i was at school, it was very very difficult and i couldnt cope with the stresses of how it made me feel and all the fear i felt. it was too much!
i found out about those phobias and finally told my parents a few years ago. once they knew it wasnt me and was just some mental illness, they backed off and supported me and no longer called me lazy or told me i needed to grow up. i have had counselling and therapy for most of my life but nothing so far as helped.
Now i have a new partner who is also my soulmate and he understands how im feeling because his friends mum used to be the same but had it worser than me in that she couldnt leave the house at all. I can leave the house but only if someone is with me. I am also lucky in that i work from home and my job revolves around the PC. But i do need to do such things like visit a post office every so often and my partner comes with me. He says we are a team and that he will help me with anything i need and its vice versa.
I can only visit shops, supermarkets and the post office etc if i am with someone (my partner or my mum or dad - although i dont live near my parents anymore). I can never go on my own. The fear is too much.
I hate being in the house on my own when my partner goes to work (which is 8hrs a day and he doesnt go out at the weekends as hes not into pub drinking thank god, he prefers to stay home and drink). Im not too bothered on my own in the house apart from when someone comes to the door. The postmen arent so bad as im used to them, but any couriers, and some of them are quite jolly and loud and scary - i find them hard but still deal with them. I couldnt do that a few years ago :) If anyone knocks and im not expecting anyone (so its usually a cold caller) I wont answer the door. Im too afraid. My partner is ok with this and said one of his friends who had no social worries at all, never opened the door if anyone knocked unless he was expecting them. It was just privacy.
I think i have agoraphobia in that i cant go outside unless with someone and monophobia in that i cant go outside unless with someone. Ive made little baby steps in that in a small shop (you know like charity shops) I couldnt go to the till on my own. Now I can. But its only tiny steps so nothing that i feel I should really pat myself on the back for.
I do go out the house once a day with my partner when we walk his dog. But I couldnt do it on my own. But now i cant go out at all because we have just had loads of snow and i cant walk on ice as i have the worlds worst balance and always end up falling over. So now as well as feeling all the usual fear, im now feeling so down and useless :weep:
I have had various phobias/anxieties/troubles/worries ever since i was in primary school and im now 27. I had lots of friends at primary school but was still very shy. But my shyness progressed all through secondary school because I used to get bullied all the time and didnt have many friends so think this made it worse. I went through secondary school with anxieties, social phobia, extreme shyness, a bit of monophobia etc but back then i didnt know i had any of these. I thought it was just me as it seemed just me. No one else displayed anything like what i was suffering from so I thought why me, why have i got something wrong with me.
It wasnt until a few years ago in a bad relationship that i finally found out about social phobia, social anxiety related problems. My ex didnt understand and thought i was ignorant and lazy and my parents didnt understand and thought it was pure laziness and that i should learn to grow up as i wasnt a kid anymore. i couldnt leave the house without my parents and although i walked to school on my own when i was at school, it was very very difficult and i couldnt cope with the stresses of how it made me feel and all the fear i felt. it was too much!
i found out about those phobias and finally told my parents a few years ago. once they knew it wasnt me and was just some mental illness, they backed off and supported me and no longer called me lazy or told me i needed to grow up. i have had counselling and therapy for most of my life but nothing so far as helped.
Now i have a new partner who is also my soulmate and he understands how im feeling because his friends mum used to be the same but had it worser than me in that she couldnt leave the house at all. I can leave the house but only if someone is with me. I am also lucky in that i work from home and my job revolves around the PC. But i do need to do such things like visit a post office every so often and my partner comes with me. He says we are a team and that he will help me with anything i need and its vice versa.
I can only visit shops, supermarkets and the post office etc if i am with someone (my partner or my mum or dad - although i dont live near my parents anymore). I can never go on my own. The fear is too much.
I hate being in the house on my own when my partner goes to work (which is 8hrs a day and he doesnt go out at the weekends as hes not into pub drinking thank god, he prefers to stay home and drink). Im not too bothered on my own in the house apart from when someone comes to the door. The postmen arent so bad as im used to them, but any couriers, and some of them are quite jolly and loud and scary - i find them hard but still deal with them. I couldnt do that a few years ago :) If anyone knocks and im not expecting anyone (so its usually a cold caller) I wont answer the door. Im too afraid. My partner is ok with this and said one of his friends who had no social worries at all, never opened the door if anyone knocked unless he was expecting them. It was just privacy.
I think i have agoraphobia in that i cant go outside unless with someone and monophobia in that i cant go outside unless with someone. Ive made little baby steps in that in a small shop (you know like charity shops) I couldnt go to the till on my own. Now I can. But its only tiny steps so nothing that i feel I should really pat myself on the back for.
I do go out the house once a day with my partner when we walk his dog. But I couldnt do it on my own. But now i cant go out at all because we have just had loads of snow and i cant walk on ice as i have the worlds worst balance and always end up falling over. So now as well as feeling all the usual fear, im now feeling so down and useless :weep: