trying to get better! newbie

[happysammy]

Hey guys I've just joined the site I've had anxiety since the birth of my 2nd son after a horrible birth etc I'm basically looking for anyways I can make myself feel better! It all started the week before I got married that I had my first panic attack after having depersonalization/derealization I'm for ever questioning myself what if this what if that! But I'm always in a constant state of what I call dopey ( depersonalization) I sometimes get the scary thoughts that most people talk about! I've been to see a occupational therapist and a nurse at the psychiatrist who basically said I suffer from panic / stress but I can't help feeling like I'm going mad ??

[Amethyst69]

Hi there!! Nope definitely not going mad!! My friend is a psych nurse and told me that people who are going mad/are mad have absolutely no concept of their state and we souls who think we are due to panic stress anxiety depression are too in touch with reality so the complete opposite of going mad. Sometimes wonder which is worse!! I hold onto this thought when anxious as my worst fear is I am going to lose control/go mad. Not going to happen!!!!

[happysammy]

Thanks for the reply I was told exactly the same! I think my problem is I'm a young mum 22 with two boys under 3 don't seem too ever get a break and stuck doing the same things! Husband works and seems to think because I'm home every day with the children its my job to do everything else x

[Nigel]

Hi happysammy,
:welcome: to NMP!
Amethyst is right – the feelings of panic and anxiety are in many ways the complete opposite of going crazy. They’re actually about survival, with anxiety being super vigilant and on the look out for danger at every turn, and panic when the mind thinks it’s spotted a real threat. When you look at it like that, going crazy at that vital moment would be a pretty dumb survival tactic :doh:

It just feels weird because the mind and body are working on a different level – the optimal state for spotting or fending off danger, but that’s not the way a person normally experiences the world. It feels odd, they worry about it, and that create even more anxiety – even more of those feelings.

“Husband works and seems to think because I'm home every day with the children its my job to do everything else”

I saw something on TV years ago – it was the guy promoting that ‘Men are from Mars’ book, and he used that very same example. He said the man goes out to work all day doing his one big job, and on his return in the evening considers he’s worked harder than the woman who’s pottered about the house all day. The woman, on the other hand, felt she’d done far more with her day full of smaller jobs than the man who had only done one job. The theory was that the woman placed more emphasis on the number of jobs whereas for the man it was more about the magnitude of the job.

Perhaps if your husband is from this planet after all, it’s something you could have a chat about at an opportune moment.

Take care :)
Nigel

[happysammy]

Thank you so much nigel its always great having someone else's perspective on things! Will have a chat with the husband tonight :)

[Nigel]

You’re welcome.
Hope the chat goes well.

Just remember... if he’s had a treacherous journey home in the snow, maybe leave it till tomorrow :winks: