leaving my children motherless

[jen2503]

Im terrified of dying young and leaving my children without their mother. is this a normal fear or an anxiety related one?!

usually i can put the thought out of my head but when i think about their birthdays i or xmas i sometimes get the dread feeling and fear dying bfore these events and leaving them without a mum on these events. i am scared of dying but more scared of leaving my family behind and of how they will cope.

the thought of dying and leaving my children motherless really concerns me. it takes alot of effort to convince myself i wont die and leave them.

[elainey70]

Oh Jen

You poor soul, when i first suffered from anxiety i to had a terrible fear of dying i used to worry about it everyday and convinced myself that i was dying, i still do it sometimes now when i'm having a really bad day. It is really common in anxiety and panic disorders. Have you been to see the doctors and are you on any meds. Try and not to worry about this, i know this is easier said than done put all you focus into being a mum and looking forward to christmas.

Take care

x

[Nigel]

Hi Jen,

I think it’s a thought every normal person has. The thing to do though is try not to dwell on it because it’s one of those things that cannot be answered or planned for because there’s absolutely nothing to go on.

Look at it another way...
You reach the age of 80 and can at last breathe a sigh of relief. “Phew! I made it. I didn’t die young.” All those years wasted worrying about it? Now that would be something to worry about :winks:

I guess the secret is keep the thought in perspective. Do what little you ‘realistically’ can, for example, life insurance, then leave it to fate and start to spend some quality happy time with your kids. There will be many many happy birthdays and Christmases... you see... :)

Take care,
Nigel

[Going home]

Hi Jen, yes it is common and more so in people with health anxiety, and especially when we have young children who rely on us to care for them. I'm a grandmother now but I can remember having feelings like this when my own kids were very young. I remember the first time I took them out alone in the car and thinking that I was responsible for their safety and that freaked me out alot...driving along at 20 miles an hour! But yes i would say you're not alone with this...:)

Anna xx

[jen2503]

thank you for the replies everyone,

i guess its normal ish then, its just so horrible. it is because they are so young, my eldest is 3 and my youngest is just a year old, im only 26 but it does scare me leaving them. maybe i just worry about my family too much and how they would cope without me.

it doesnt bother me all the time, but when it does pop up it really freaks me out! maybe im having a midlife crisis! lol

thank you all you have helped me see im not alone which is a comfort xxx

[rosekay]

Hi Jen - I know exactly what you mean! I worried myself and scared myself witless about dying and leaving the kids alone, not seeing them grow up etc. Then I realised that one day I'm going to look back and see I'd wasted my life worrying instead of enjoying....won't say it was easy, but it helped. Mind you, I now have little grandchildren, and I catch myself thinking about not being here when they're older........guess I'll have to give myself a good talking to! It's really not easy, but it's life I suppose...hang in there, you're certainly not alone! :hugs: