when i think about anxiety...

[bmccartney]

The oddest thing happens to me and i guess it supports " we are what we think" Sometimes, i have calm normal hours ( not often)
Then i think " wow! it is gone! I feel good" . That very second it comes back...i can feel my stomach tense and it all starts to go bad, a surge of anxiety goes right thru me!
My biggest fear is the fear of anxiety itself. Why does this happen?

[PanchoGoz]

That is because you are not recoveerd from your anxiety, the symptoms are just having a little break. When you are anxiety free, you don't even think "I have no anxiety" because that would not be a natural thought in a totally anxiety free day. I think maybe the key would be distraction, because when you are doing something, that is when you truly feel good. Its all about thought processes...

[faye980]

i totally agree, i was at the dr's yesterday and he asked me what makes me anxious and i told him i get anxious about feeling anxious. I think like yourself it's gone then bang... it's back. So he didn't have an answer for me when i asked him ' how do i stop my fear of being anxious' and simply gave me a ad to start today.... suppose life can only get better. keep smiling x

[honeyp1e]

The oddest thing happens to me and i guess it supports " we are what we think" Sometimes, i have calm normal hours ( not often)
Then i think " wow! it is gone! I feel good" . That very second it comes back...i can feel my stomach tense and it all starts to go bad, a surge of anxiety goes right thru me!
My biggest fear is the fear of anxiety itself. Why does this happen?

i hate these when you are having a great day and you then think "WOW i haven't been anxious all day" then the next minute it hits u with a bang i am going through a bad time right now and worse of all loss of appetite due to my anxiety and have lost over a stone in weight and was only 7st to start with :weep: so really didnt need to lose it i just wish i could regain my appetite fully as on a good i will eat something but only from 1-2 toast & mayb a sandwich in the day with a few biscuits and this is a good day for me so you could imagine a bad day NOTHING AT ALL TO EAT.... i just hope that one day all my days will be good.. why do we get this anxiety in the first place

[ems43]

i can really relate to what you're saying. I have realised this today, the minute I am enjoying myself and focused on somethign else and forgot about my anxiety/ feelings of depersonlisation then i think " oh great i feel normal" then bamm it comes straight back. I think so much excessive anxiety is caused my constant introspection and hypervigilance to ourselves,,, we basically end up stuck in our heads! And you're right, it is the fear of fear that keeps it alive. I guess we need to learn to not fear the fear, to accept the feelings of anxiety and that they are a temporary condition that will pass if we stop adding further fear to the anxiety and keepign it alive. Oh this sounds so simple but so hard to apply hey! I guess what keeps mine alive is i keep thinking .... this can't be just anxiety, i must be loosing my mind/ going mad. I'm quite sure that when i can accept it is just anxiety i will be able to move forward. I also think i need to stop focusing on myself, how i feel, my thoughts etc... and just get back into life again! xx

[mr badger]

BMC

I'm a keen motorcyclist and on the road we have to deal with something called 'object fixation'.

Imagine you're riding along towards a corner. On that corner is a great big tree. If you don't corner properly and hit the tree you will be hurt.

So what do we do? Allow our vision to get fixed on the tree - it's our souce of fear after all. But by doing that we don't corner properly and our bike follows our gaze, straight into the tree!

To counteract, we must make ourselve look through the corner, look to where we want to go. Then the bike will follow our desires, almost automatically.

I have a hunch that the tree is like our anxiety. We fear it so much we get drawn straight towards it. maybe we need to focu on what we wnat and not whatt we fear.

half baked thought but might be useful maybe.

[PanchoGoz]

Brilliant...

[Nigel]

Hi mr badger,

I think that’s a brilliant way of thinking about it. In fact it’s the sort of thing a good therapist would do (which I’m not BTW!). To use an idea that means something to you, and in terms that your own mind understands, then to use that to represent what it is you’re trying to change or achieve. It’s using analogies and metaphors which is often how the mind works, plus it’s using the natural language of your own personal thoughts. I think it could help to explore those ideas further.

“I have a hunch that the tree is like our anxiety. We fear it so much we get drawn straight towards it. maybe we need to focu on what we wnat and not whatt we fear.”

I think that’s a good way of looking about anxiety, and it’s true that we seem to get more of what we focus our attention on. In fact it’s the way fear is meant to work. Fear represents danger, and in that situation it’s best to stay tightly focused on the object of that fear. The trouble with anxiety is that the fear is the anxiety.

Perhaps you could think the bike analogy through even more. I’ve never ridden one myself (excpet the type with pedals when I was little!) but I’d guess that you don’t simply ignore the tree. Your mind flags it up as a potential hazard and you quickly evaluate the situation and assess how much of a threat it poses. No immediate danger so be aware of it while doing as you said – ‘look through the corner to where you want to go’.

I think that’s the real secret. It’s unrealistic to expect to never have another anxious thought or panicky moment because those are essential and instinctive human responses to uncertainty and danger. Instead, the trick is to realistically evaluate the situation. Take action if necessary, bear it in mind if less immediate, or dismiss it altogether as another false alarm – which most of them are.

Once the thought or situation has been classified as harmless, or mostly harmless, there’s no need to fear it, and when there’s nothing fear there’s no reason for the mind to stay locked on those thoughts.

Take care,
Nigel

[mr badger]

Thanks guys.

You're right Nigel. You don't just ignore the tree. You leave it for your peripheral vision to mange for you, leaving the forward, focussed part of your vision to deal with the interesting stuff.

I've always thought of depression as taking way the future, that long vision ahead.

Will explore more.

[bmccartney]

Thank you, all very helpful and new ways to learn to think.
"We need to focus on what we want and not what we fear"....I like it!

[Gemzy]

i know this is easier said than done but try not to think about anxiety!

try this little experiment for me! my therapist did it to me last week and honestly i was amazed!!! i am emetophobic so i think a lot about my digestive system and the feelings and sensations that go with it and am preoccupied with feeling sick which is brought on by my anxiety, anyway getting to the point - sit quietly with your eyes closed and focus on your right foot! what happens? you become so aware of your right foot you feel every beat of your pulse, it wants to kick.

if you can beat the preoccupation with anxiety you may well be able to start breaking the cycle

[blueangel]

I think Mr Badger and Nigel made some very good points earlier on in the thread - in the end it's not about never having anxiety again. If we worked like this, we'd end up dead as we'd have no fear about the things that we need to rationally have fears about, and we'd end up walking under a car. Therefore, we have to have a degree of anxiety as it's a self-preservation mechanism. The key seems to be controlling the anxiety to a level where we can function normal.

See, easy innit. :)