Really being put off Citalopram

[Mr Pants]

After having a "SAH" Sub-arachnoid haemorrhage in August 2010 and surviving I am now suffering with emotional lability, so I have a loss of confidence, constant butterflies, I have closed in and people and friends have noticed I have changed. I am also a bit more irritable.

On top of that I have started a new, high pressured job in the centre of London so I have long working days and high expectations.

I have done the following:

1) Changed my diet, no caffeine, less alcohol, cut back on the stimulants.
2) Increased my exercise to burn off some of those daily jitters
3) Brought this book, which is really good - http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0722531559/ref=oss_product
4) I take vitamin B complex every day

I know this condition is temporary, but its turning my life on its head and I want it to stop, so I have now resorted to more significant measures and have been prescribed 20mg Citalopram.

I was very positive about this, despite having this on my medical record, but I am desperate to get on top of the problem, however after reading a lot of the posts on here about how bad this stuff is I am concerned if I should be on it at all!?!

[paula lynne]

Hiya, its well know that citalopram is highly effective in treating anxiety, however, the initial weeks can present with making your anxiety worse. This settles down with time. Im sorry you feel that some posts on here have put you off, its peoples real experiences and are valuable in the sense they help others in terms of what to expect. Please remain positive, and give it a chance. You were prescribed it for a reason. See how you are in a few weeks.

Can I just say, I think your pro-active approach is refreshing to see, and will inspire others to follow your lead in making changes, and doing all you can to help yourself get better, well done to you! Dont give up, its better to burn out than to fade away...:winks:

[Sarah Louise]

Sorry if any of my post have scared you off Citalopram for me it has been working but i am having trouble with my doses and its a rough patch whilst i find the right one. I have just had an increase to 60mg and i am experiencing some of the side effects again.

I have taken some of your points on i think i will cut down on caffeine and start exercising i love reading positive posts it brings me comfort that i will be okay.

[HarrogateChris]

after reading a lot of the posts on here about how bad this stuff is I am concerned if I should be on it at all!?!

I'm just starting my 5th week of Citalopram. It's been a bit of a ride, but I am definitely better now compared with the state I was in before I started.

I put off the Cit because I was scared of it making me worse. It did make me worse, but because I knew that was the Cit and that it would pass in time I was able to stick it out and I'm glad I did. Still not feeling like my old self, but the trend is definitely up.

Chris

[Laneybc]

I am on day 21 and starting to feel the improvements. The week before I started and the first couple of weeks were pretty awful for me. The increased anxiety was tough but it is easing now and I am starting to feel better. From 2000 to 2009 I was on citalopram and it worked well for me, then I switched to cymbalta after a stressful event and I found it so sedating that I tapered off this year. Within a week I was in a state of anxiety and depression so I went back to the citalopram. It is worth hanging in there. Get all the support you can and have faith that it will work. It really can be a good medicine.
Take care and hope you feel better soon.
Elaine

[Mr Pants]

Thank you for your replies and its nice to hear it works, I will definitely report my feedback on Cit once I have been taking it for a while. So far I just feel a bit giddy and happy to be honest.

I think the biggest step anyone can take is accepting you have a condition, at first when it started to happen I thought "pull yourself together Alex and don't be so ridiculous", which I quickly discovered is not that simple and I could not just turn this off like I would having pre-presentation nerves or work stresses and pressures.

Before this happened I was a very very confident individual and used to dealing with all sorts of issues and problems, where as at the moment I feel so weak and pathetic, I am struggling to maintain my external persona to give the illusion of confidence because inside I am a nervous wreck.

I am not a big one for making huge life changes because I find when I do that I end up faltering on the changes and reverting back to the previous way of doing things, so I decided to take the steps I detailed above but carefully and a bit at a time. So I cut down here and there with the diet, without making my life a complete misery.

My exercise is simple and fitted into my day, rather than joining a gym where I know I would probably stop going and then feel negative because I am letting myself down I decided to walk from Waterloo station to my work, which is a 35 minute brisk walk, then I walked home, now I do that every day because the feeling is great!!! I can not stress enough how much of the jitters it burns up for me. I get off the train full of butterflies, brisk walk to work and they are gone. They come back a bit at lunch time so I do a quick round the block walk, get my lunch and relax. It really works, little steps and little changes. ( it worked for me at least ). Also I only eat protein for lunch, it keeps me awake more as I get very tired in the afternoon if I have carbs and with this emotional lability I could easily sleep every afternoon which is annoying!

Vitamin B Complex, not sure if that works yet, only been on them for about 6 days!

Another really big help for me was distraction, if I am busy I don't notice the jitters so much, if I stop and relax I do nothing but think about my problems, very selfish I know, but I just can not stop. I get irritable and just fall somewhere quite dark really, I sort of shut down.

The book really helped me, I am a very open minded person and happy to try all sorts of methods to over come my issues (and I have them right now), if they don't work I move on to the next. This book was recommended by my doctor and I have to say it really opened my eyes, the amount of times I said "OMG, that is me...! I am normal" on the train :roflmao: Well as normal as I can be.

Please dont take my post as having a dig at this forum, I admire everyones honesty and take it all on board, I was just really saying that Cit does not seem to get the greatest reviews and wondered if I should have struggled on with my other methods before taking these pills. I am just feeling so worthless at the moment and useless I need some more help, hence the pills.

I am trying to remain positive and driven on this and when I get the jitters and nerves I am just going to go with it and try and enjoy the roller coaster ride. I am counting on the Cit putting a bit of a turbo boost in to my recovery. I am sure if I can get a shred of good feelings I will pull myself out of this hole.

Its amazing actually, reading all these posts from people with low self esteem or confidence issues, jitters or what ever the case may be. You all sound so confident to me and able to communicate so openly and well which in my opinion shows a lot of strength and confidence. Its been an amazing help to me already to see that we are all ok and just people who are not firing on all cylinders AT THE MOMENT! This is temporary and it can be fixed with time.

Al

[Lizziesaurus]

I shall also apologise if any of my posts have put you off, citalopram isn't usually prescribed for my problem but I can say with confidence it's helped my health anxiety, whilst on it I've not worried I've made my brain bleed with a knock to the head etc. And fyi, I never had any horrible side effects!

[Mr Pants]

No need to apologise Lizziesaurus, its better to hear the truth

[HarrogateChris]

Before this happened I was a very very confident individual and used to dealing with all sorts of issues and problems, where as at the moment I feel so weak and pathetic, I am struggling to maintain my external persona to give the illusion of confidence because inside I am a nervous wreck.
...

I am trying to remain positive and driven on this and when I get the jitters and nerves I am just going to go with it and try and enjoy the roller coaster ride. I am counting on the Cit putting a bit of a turbo boost in to my recovery. I am sure if I can get a shred of good feelings I will pull myself out of this hole.


Hi Al,

You sound a lot like me. The problem with being a confident driven professional is that it's very tempting to try and apply those professional skills to your recovery. I spent months struggling to maintain the illusion of confidence whilst being a mess inside, it's tremedously exhausting emotionally.

It's hard not to be angry with yourself when for example in my case recently you can't cope with the choice of yoghurt in the supermarket. Emotional healing takes time, no matter how much you want to drive it along. The point I'm wanting to make is remember to give yourself a break. There's a difficult journey ahead, there are no shortcuts, in someways the hardest step is the acceptance that you can't just pull yourself out of this and need to take the time to understand and accept yourself.

There are ups and downs on the Cit through the first few weeks and you don't want to be giving yourself a good kicking for being weak after each up is perhaps followed by another down. For me the Cit has levelled me out enough to start healing.

Give yourself and break and take the time to understand and accept yourself.

Chris

[mr badger]

A very helpful observation for me . Thanks Chris.

[HarrogateChris]

A very helpful observation for me . Thanks Chris.

We're all learning as we go, I've only just figured out kicking myself doesn't work! :D

[heavenly]

There are ups and downs on the Cit through the first few weeks and you don't want to be giving yourself a good kicking for being weak after each up is perhaps followed by another down. For me the Cit has levelled me out enough to start healing.

Give yourself and break and take the time to understand and accept yourself.

Chris

Thanks for that, totally agree. I am about 5 weeks in, first 2 weeks were extremely tough but I feel the good days are outweighing the bad now. I am hard on myself and as you said, that is not going to help me. I need to be patient with myself and focus on all the positives.

[blueangel]

Very good points there from Chris, I think. I have found myself in this position, as I have quite a responsible job and will tend to beat myself up if I don't live up to my own expectations. As my expectations of myself can be quite unreasonable, I don't do very well out of this deal!

A huge amount of this is about acceptance. We all have to learn to accept ourselves for what we are, and then change the bits that are feasible to change. The wisdom is knowing the difference between the two....

[HarrogateChris]

tend to beat myself up if I don't live up to my own expectations. As my expectations of myself can be quite unreasonable, I don't do very well out of this deal!

That's me :yesyes:

I do it because in the deep recesses of my psyche, from pre verbal childhood, I have a belief that I'm not accepted. I push myself really hard to be accepted by trying to be perfect and if I feel I'm being less than perfect I think people hate me. I spend most of my time thinking people hate me.

Even now I'm giving myself deadlines for getting better and being hard on myself if I feel like I'm not on schedule. I blame myself for what's happened with my friend and am setting myself the impossible task of fixing that relationship. I really just need to let up on myself!

Chris