Christmas.....

[Groundhog]

....anyone else’s anxiety ramps up at this time of year?

Have to say from the outset I don’t like Christmas anyway – never have, not even as a kid, apparently I was never a get up at 5am kid my mum tells me, I used to get up at a regular time have my breakfast and open presents at a leisurely pace throughout the morning.

Now I’m older I really can’t be bothered with it on several levels.
First the weeks of preparation all for one day.
The fact xmas starts sometime in September.
All the wasted excess, buying presents that people don’t want, food that don’t get eaten, feeling obliged to visit relations you normally only see at funerals – etc etc

My anxiety always bubbles up at xmas mainly, I think, because the whole thing winds me up so much.:doh:

What about you lot:)

[paula lynne]

Me too, call me The Grinch!
It reminds me of my mum, and this makes me unbearably sad. All that excess and greed, for millions of cards that end up being throw out, and presents that end up broken or lost in a draw....bah humbug!

I admit I like the fact my children are with me this year, and thats what Im grateful for. It seems have turned into the season of getting getting getting though, not about "goodwill to mankind...".

My anxiety goes up tenfold, Im constantly worried about money, and my heating bills in January. I decided last year I would donate money to charity instead of spending money on cards, and thats what Ive done. Small gestures like that on my part remind me its about making a difference to someones life, and that doesnt mean spending hundreds of pounds, getting into debt and having multiple panic attacks!

Bah humbug, yep....Im Grinchy all right........:wacko:

[baileys]

I hate Christmas too and always have done. Its bad enough having to try and do my shopping with anxiety but having those annoying Christmas songs in the shops winds me up even more. And all these people enjoying shopping while i am struggling to keep my head in the real world.

I try and avoid my family all year but at Christmas, for some reason we all get together. For the past 3 years we've lost somebody in the family so there seems to be less of us now.

My sister has decided to go abroad this year so I'm left to look after and cook for the oldies.
My mum will be poking her nose in the kitchen and picking holes in how I'm cooking the dinner, then i will have her cousin telling me all the things that have happened to her since i last saw her......that will be a years worth. She is one of these people who if she wants to tell you about something that happened at the end of the day she starts by telling you what time she got up and what she had for breakfast, by the time she gets to the evening shes forgotten what she was going to tell you in the first place.
All this while i am trying to time the dinner right.

I'm going to put a bolt on the kitchen door this year with a notice saying keep out. I will put the radio on, open me bottle of bailey and hope that I'm sober enough to dish up dinner.
I will give them plenty of booze at dinner hoping they will fall asleep for the rest of the day.
Im fed up with this depression and anxiety, if i didnt have it then maybe i would get more pleasure from things that other people do.

[fishman65]

Oh for sure Groundhog,Christmas is a definite anxiety-inducer.Its the expectation to be merry that gets me,how on earth are people supposed to be merry to order??And the conformity to social situations,sitting round the table to enjoy yet another stodgy xmas meal etc etc.I think xmas should be optional and we shouldn't have it rammed down our throats by the media.The whole circus is hammered into the public psyche and anything other than total commitment sees us painted as scrooges.

Fishy

[miss_moose]

I get heightend anxiety too because theres alot going on and i have to see family, which is very difficult because i'm people phobic and even seeing my mum causes massive panic.
Last year, we had christmas eve celebrations with just my fiance, grandma and brother and it was the first chistmas in 8 years that i enjoyed.
My fiance was working christmas day though so i spent the whole day alone.

This year, he's booked us into a Travel Inn on Christmas eve so we can go and spend christmas morning and afternoon with his family, i'm absolutely terrified. Everytime i have gone there i've cried ysterically, been sik with nerves and made a huge fool of my self because of my panic attacks.
So if i dont go, i'll be spending christmas eve and half of christmas day alone until he comes home, then we have my family coming over.

I'm dreading all the panic that the social side of christmas brings, i just hope theres some miracle and my panic subsides enough to enjoy it.

[Ozpanic]

I get heightend anxiety too because theres alot going on and i have to see family, which is very difficult because i'm people phobic and even seeing my mum causes massive panic.
Last year, we had christmas eve celebrations with just my fiance, grandma and brother and it was the first chistmas in 8 years that i enjoyed.
My fiance was working christmas day though so i spent the whole day alone.

This year, he's booked us into a Travel Inn on Christmas eve so we can go and spend christmas morning and afternoon with his family, i'm absolutely terrified. Everytime i have gone there i've cried ysterically, been sik with nerves and made a huge fool of my self because of my panic attacks.
So if i dont go, i'll be spending christmas eve and half of christmas day alone until he comes home, then we have my family coming over.

I'm dreading all the panic that the social side of christmas brings, i just hope theres some miracle and my panic subsides enough to enjoy it.

+1 Miss Moosey

[JaneC]

Don't like it either :sad:. On top of the stress of making sure you have all the food in and finding the presents people want (less of a prob now my children are older admittedly), I've just rarely found Christmas to be a happy time for me. I associate it too much with sad feelings as a child and teenager. Doesn't help that my dad died two weeks before Christmas, even if that was a fair while ago.

In recent years, what I've really got to hate is a month of walking through the city and sharing public transport home at night at weekends with loads of people who are really p!ssed. I've been drunk plenty of times but the state of some of them is absolutely unbelievable, to the point of disgusting.

Bah and humbug :mad:

[nomorepanic]

Blimey what a lovely cheery post lol.

Why don't you see Christmas in another way...........

Another holiday and a few days off work :yahoo:

Please don't be so down about it :unsure:

[JaneC]

If I don't work I don't get paid :excl: I also quite often have to work on Christmas Day. Won't be this year because of the way it falls but taking Christmas and New Year into consideration I'll be a couple of hundred quid down on my wages in January :nonono:

[nomorepanic]

You should be paid extra for working on UK official bank holidays - if not ask your employer why not?

[JaneC]

From the government website: "If you work on a bank or public holiday, there is no automatic right to an enhanced pay rate. What you get paid depends on your contract of employment."

Plus I'm only a casual worker, which doesn't help.

[LucyR]

Christmas is much ado about nothing especially nowadays. All the tradition has gone out of Christmas, the young ones now don't even know the meaning of it its all about commercialism and its very artificial nowadays I feel, people don't have the time to enjoy it and remember the Christmas story at the same time.

[mr badger]

Since childhood, Christmas for me has not been a great time. So much expectation followed by so much disappointment.

we do our own thing now and take the bits we like and ignore the rest.

[87sal87]

I was about to post about this very thing.
I've always 'liked' christmas, never been overly fond of it but I have seen it as a time to get abit excited & have a break from the usual hum-drum of life.

I'm not sure what causes my anxiety to shoot up around this time, I remember last year I ended up in A&E with a pulse rate which was through the roof! >.<
I start worrying about money & getting presents for everyone, then it must just set me off in worrying mode & all sorts of stupid things go round in my head.
I worry about losing a member of my family near christmas, I even remember when I was younger there was one year I was worried about my Mum dying when she was perfectly fine & in good health...
& I get the same kind of phobia even now... :(
Or I worry about the tree lights/decorations catching fire & burning eveything down...
Yes, I'm crazy...lol

But it just goes to show what the heightened pressure of Xmas can do to people who suffer from anxiety...

[Zingara]

I think being told to be 'cheery' is a big part of the problem - or it is for me. I suffer enormously at Christmas. For me it's the forced jollity, the loss of routine, the lack of privacy, the big, round-the-table meals, (always a problem for me) and all this at a time of year when the cold and dark make escape outside impossible. It is genuinely a very big and very real problem for me. The pressure to be 'happy' is unbearable - last year was so stressful for me it set me back months. If I could just opt out completely I would. I feel tearful just thinking about it!

[mr badger]

Lets all post on Xmas day. Create a new ritual.

Merry Un-Christmas to us, every one!

[Anxious_gal]

think about the sales after Christmas :)

I dislike valentines day more......... well only when I'm single lol

[Susanw]

I love christmas,,this is my first year with anxiety,We having the family dinner at my sisters,,a first since we all left home. No cooking for me, a first in about 5yrs,,My husband thinks its a bad idea,,as Im going down hill,,yes my last post said,I was over it and better :blush:,,been kinda scared to post , but will take what folk say on the chin.

I will do the dinner with my family,,brother sisters as we never had a xmas dinner since my mum died almost 11 yrs ago. If you cant do it,,then dont,,dont try to do something you cant and bring bad toughts,,for me xmas time was fantastic as a child and young adult, Ive no idea if I will be okay,,but I will try bloody hard as I want this day to be good for me and my kids and family,,Im sorry christmas bring back not too good memouries,,but im trying to get into the spirit,,cant at the moment,,but trying so hard,,the decorations should be up soon:whistles:.

I wish you well,,take care and do what you want,,not what other think you want,,:yesyes:

[missy007]

Susan that is so positive- i am very much Bah Humbug but really trying for a different approach this year. :D

[looking4answers]

Lol..well you must of been one of the fortunate people. My mother didn't believe in making believe there was a santa.. My presents were given to me as received .Some years when i was younger there were always some and as I got older 11 or 12.. Christmas morning was pretty much like any other day. When my children were young we made sure they believed in Santa and we always made sure they had tons of presents especially what they wanted.. and the tree and decorations etc etc etc..
But as far as myself. .Christmas has always been a day that Im glad to see go until next year..I guess im somewhat like scrooge.lol. bah humbug.. but glad for others enjoying the season and the people that have children making it special.. Im happy for them.. My wife and I have three grandchidren that we carefully select presents for and send to them before Christmas and then we chat with them Christmas day to see how their Christmas was and "thats our Christmas" Its fine but like I said its nice to see it come and go.. I guess some holidays or most I have a little melancholy, I get lonely for my mom and my brother and uncles and aunts.. all have gone now..It makes me a little sad but then I have to be happy that I have my children and my wife and the people we do have. I can relate to what you are saying though.. although I don't think my childhood Christmas was anything that I would want anyone else to have I guess it was ok for me. I never had the opportunity to believe in Santa and have the joy of running down from my bedroom to open packages..My mom just wasn't into it..

[magic girl]

im worried because christmas last year i wad really bad with panic and anxiety and im worried it will happen again i think its because every where is really packed and the pressure your under to enjoy your self.

[Dragonsblonde]

This will be my first year with officially diagnosed Anxiety, but am still going to enjoy it the best I can and hopefully will have a great time. My Christmas's whilst growing up were great and full of family etc, but obviously as time goes on Families grow and everything changes.

I always think that if you can do things in advance, in your own time and do things that you enjoy along the way you can build the Christmas that you want. There are always parts of it that can be stressful, but again for me that is all part of my Christmas I guess lol.

My decorations are now up, presents all wrapped and a Christmas cake made and ready to be iced next weekend.

[sweet juicy]

yes,Christmas is a definite anxiety-inducer.Its

[blueangel]

I'm one of the people that have never been keen on Christmas either, certainly since my dad died when I was 8. I don't come from a close family at all, so apart from brief "duty" visits there was nothing to do, and I was the only child in the family so it tended to be very lonely.

I'd rather just let it all pass me by, to be honest. I don't mind buying presents, but I'd far prefer to get people something that they really want, rather than something that will just be put in a cupboard and never used. I think there's far too much commercialism attached to Christmas and we are all coerced in spending too much on it, which of course puts pressure on people who are short of money anyway.

Now I'm with my partner, I have to do a lot of "family" stuff at Christmas, which I do find really stressful as I'm not family-orientated at all, so I try to let it go over my head as much as possible.

[Groundhog]

Interesting response folks, thanks. As one of the posters commented Christmas has lost direction completely. My lads primary school ‘production’ was on the last week of November and by the time the PC brigade had stamped their mark on it the Christmas message was all but lost. Then this weekend is the village carol concert in the church, now you would have thought they would have chosen a date nearer the supposed happening wouldn’t you.:lac:
I did my Tesco shop this morning and was chatting to the (elderly)lady on the check out and she commented how she was sick to the back teeth with it already. As she said working in a shop they start to have it rammed down their throats in September, the shop tree goes up mid November and the droning Christmas songs on repeat day in day out. She commented that when she was young Christmas did not start till the 24th – no decorations nothing, then when she woke on xmas day the tree was up pressies laid out – the lot.

I also seem to be hearing more and more of people who take the decs down on Boxing day

I think I could adapt to a traditional xmas but this commercial debacal just leaves me cold.

Miserable sod aren’t I :)