Ladies(and girls)(and men if you like) your opinions please

[Groundhog]

OK I’m posting this here because it’s not causing me any anxiety it’s just come as a surprise really. Bear with me cos it’s a bit complicated. I work with predominately women. My work is in a secondary school and during the day I spend my time in class rooms although we do have a small office to use. The other day at lunch time the office was busy and I was sat eating my lunch. One of my lady colleagues came in and I got out of my seat and offered it to her. Well the look on her face was a combination of horror / disbelief. The rest of the office was in stitches at her reaction, she did take my seat but it was as though she was expecting it to collapse under her or there to be a whoopee cushion or similar.:shrug:

Now I’m told I am quite a gentleman by many people, courteous, well mannered, always go out of my way to please (A trait of anxiety suffers I’m told) so it came as a surprise to be told that women do not like this sort of behaviour! The whole holding doors open, giving up your seat type of thing. Someone (A young woman) has actually said some find it demeaning, that what I’m actually saying is that I am superior.

Now I would have to admit this has come as a surprise, even shock to me:unsure: and I’m curious to know from you girls how you would perceive this kind of action from a man.

[jillyb]

I would find it endearing and the product of a good upbringing - I hope my boys would do the same! x

[Anxious_gal]

awwwwwwww your soooooo sweet lol.
no honest to god a lot of men are not gentlemen, and also some men are just nice to women because they fancy and want to make a good impression and get into your pants haha,
I have a male friend, who shocked me by offering to carry my shopping bags!!!
Here in Ireland most men are like selfish little boys and it can be rare to come across a man that offers you a seat or holds a door open for you.
what ever women who said it was demeaning is out of her dam mind!
I think it's nice to hold a door open for any one be it a male or female.

a lot of women seem to think it's ok that men don't open doors or offer you a seat, call me old fashioned but I would never consider dating a man that wasn't a gentleman, as I want a man thats caring and helpful and kind, probably why I am still single lol
I think why some women like older men is because they tend to be less selfish and more aware of how to treat women.
I always insist on my male friends walking me home at night, if were out that night or walk me to the a taxi office.
My female friend seemed to think I was acting stuck up!
Men like looking after women, in being all strong n manly as it feeds their ego and makes them feel good.

[yvonne_uk_98]

good manners goes a long way, I have always teached my sons good manners, giving up their seat on the bus, opening doors, being polite.

:)

[eeyorelover]

I think that it is appreciated much more by women who are older...not blue haired older ;)
What I mean is that most of the women who would take offense are those who grew up post-ERA feminist movement era.
I do think that some have taken it a bit far.
I appreciate a man who will open a door for me, pull out my chair for me at a nice restaurant, and the like.
Could also be that manners are becoming a thing of the past.
I still say hello to people on the street and smile, used to make my boys carry groceries for people who were overloaded with them, ask 'how are you' and actually wait for an answer, always say please and thank you, and am ALWAYS polite to older people!
The way I was brought up!
:)

[bottleblond]

Well groundhog i think it's lovely to have manners. :yesyes:

Maybe it's a generation thing. I'm 38 so don't know what catagory i would fall into but i think it's really nice to give someone a seat. My 12 yr old did the same on the bus home from school a few weeks ago. He came in rather annoyed and when i asked him what was wrong, he said a lady had gotten on the bus and the driver didn't even give her a chance to sit down before driving off sending the lady bumping into seats. He then got up and offered her his seat as there was no other ones available. I was so proud of him as i believe a little courtesy speaks volumes.

So well done you and don't let anyone change who you are.

Lovely posts

Lisa
xxx

[Hazel B]

I would be really pleased at your kind and polite behaviour.

Don't lose your good nature just because of one odd woman!

[PanchoGoz]

Its because people these days think everyone is perverted or a peadophile. The nice quiet ones with tucked in shirts and shiny shoes or raincoats who are nice and polite - oh no - they must be a pervert. Its such a shame this stereotype has appeared in the last decade or so. Nice people are now pervs. wtf. It depends who you are polite to, a paranoid person or a nice person.

[KK77]

I think it's a lovely idea and more women should do it for me :D

[bottleblond]

:roflmao:

[Anxious_gal]

I think it's great when mothers teach their boys manners and have them help out.
I see far too many mothers who's sons treat them like a maid and that just teaches them, women are just here to serve them :-(

[gaaron]

It annoys me that women can't have the courtesy to decline if they don't want to take up the offer. By the way I am a female. My daughter likes courtesy aswell!

[Hazel B]

I give up my seat for the elderly, disabled, anyone on crutches and anyone pregnant - the last one is tricky if a lady is large! It's just manners and being brought up well, I even do it on the tube where everyone is rude and ignorant.

I'm female and always appreciate a seat from a chivalrous gent!

[Groundhog]

.......want to make a good impression and get into your pants haha,

Thats just what one of the teachers from the English faculty said 'If a bloke is being polite he just wants to get in yer knickers'

Interesting though because from the reaction at work I expected about 50/50.
To be honest I don’t think I could change anyway because, as others have said, it’s the way I was raised
You have restored my faith in woman kind:)

[blue moon]

you are a gentleman.Better to have a door opened for you,than one slammed in your face.
Love Petra x

[Going home]

I would've definately appreciated the gesture, although suffering from anxiety myself I probably would've offered the seat back to you, then you'd have declined and offered it back to me and I would've declined and offered it back to you....tea would've been cold and coffee break over by then! Seriously tho, a great gesture and more of them needed from both sides I reckon :D

Anna xx

[Anxious_gal]

Anna :roflmao: thats too cute lol

[PokerFace]

Just goes to show how polite and kind you are! If more people were kind to each other like that the world would be a much happier place, cheesy I know :blush:

Even if it's not appriciated I still do it! I hold doors open for people if I go in first, I let mums with children/babies and prams/elderly people/pregnant women go in front of me in the bus que and if there's no seats left I'm 20 years old, I'm sure I can handle standing up on the bus ride home lol! Most people say thank you and I've had a few doors held open for me in my lifetime so it's not all bad! :D xx

[Vixxy]

If a guy offered to give up his seat for me then I would be flattered and think he was a gentlemen. Although I must say if it was a stranger I would be worried he wanted to chat me up lol

[paula lynne]

Youre clearly a gentleman, dont change, some wont appreciate it, but the majority will. I would x