View Full Version : I am going to beat this! Anyone want to join me?!
I have been struggling with health anxiety for 5 years and always have a symptom of some sort that worries me. My biggest worries are female cancers, currently cervical/ovarian, and I have various ‘symptoms’ which could fit the profile for either. But I am desperate to change.
I’m reading a book called ‘Overcoming health anxiety’ which has shown me that I am a classic case – I have the typical ‘safety’ behaviours such as googling symptoms, and self-checking (prodding, poking my body for lumps). On the ‘health anxiety’ questionnaire I scored 23 (any score over 18 suggests a health anxiety problem) whilst my partner scored 9, emphasising how abnormal my feelings/behaviours are. I need to focus on overcoming the anxiety, rather than treating ‘diseases’ I don’t have.
My short term goals are to stop googling, and stop checking myself. I also want to train myself not to worry constantly that I might be seriously ill. Today I am most worried about the dull ache over my right ovary because it feels ‘odd’– what if it’s cancer? Well today I am telling myself this:
“Very unlikely. I am low risk due to my age, and the pain has been and going for a couple of weeks. If it was cancer, it would probably be persistent and getting progressively worse and I would have gone to the doctor by now. Also I had a similar ‘odd’ ache around my breast earlier in the year which I thought was cancer...it wasn’t.“
This ‘talking sense’ approach is helping for now, but I want to reach that point where I don’t even wonder what it is at all and just accept it as a harmless bodily sensation.
I want to know if anyone wants to join me in my attempt to beat this anxiety? I don’t have any professional support or CBT sessions as I want to try this on my own – besides, the NHS waiting lists are months long! If anyone wants to do the same, that would be great, and we can use this forum for support along the way.
Finally if anyone has any tips or advice to share on this, or even just some ideas about how to relax and take your mind off anxiety, that would be much appreciated – I need all the ideas I can get!
Thanks,
Karlyo
Hi there
I have suffered from OCD since I can remember, it got worse and worse as time went by. Then came the anxiety, then came the health anxiety. Its ruining my life!!
I went shopping with my mum yesturday, she was talking and I was staring into space checking my neck for lumps:shrug:. What was going through my mind? Why couldnt I just enjoy a day out with my mother?? Last night I was thinking that my period is late (i am never regular) and certainly not pregnant and then came the female cancer worries. I always think of Jade Goody and then comes the panic. I woke up this morning after 11 hours sleep stressed and panicky straight away, I am home alone today and Im begining to hate being on my own which isnt like me.
I am determinded to beat this. Absolutly determined not to live the rest of my life like this. I cant make plans too far ahead for fear I wont be here, so I am a few weeks into taking omega 3 capsules and st johns wort. I dont want actual medication and the waiting list for CBT or any sort of therapy is LONG. When I start worrying out my health I am trying to change my train of thought- I remind myself that I suffer from OCD and remind myself of all the crazy things I do, then I remind myself of the dozens of illness's I have created in my mind over the years, then I try to realise that this is anxiety and then I try to beat the feeling of anxiety thorugh breathing excersizes etc. At the moment, Im living everyday in complete fear, I hardly smile or laugh anymore, its bizzare how bad I have got in such a short space of time. Absolutly nobody knows what I am going through and so this forum is my saviour!
Hi sarah,
Are you feeling any better this afternoon? I am definitely a bit OCD as well, I have really intrusive thoughts about death and dying, either me or my boyfriend usually. Horrible. I know how you feel, and it is really lonely isn't it. I really hope we can both beat this horrible thing! Lots of relaxation exercises and definitely no googling!!!
Karlyo
I've got that book! It's really really good. I've never had CBT or proffesional help either and that book really helped me.
One thing I'll say that's really helped me latley is regular exercise. At first it made me feel worse, but now my body's used to it again I'm feeling REALLY good for the first time in ages! I've still got a long way to go til I'm cured though. Good luck to both of you :) xx
Hi Karlyo. Good for you in deciding that you are going to beat ha. I have suffered with it for a year and just finished my cbt. This helped me a lot although i still have good and bad days. Have you tried any relaxation cd's at all? These are great. The way i got told to do it was to listen to it when i got home from work at night to allow me to relax and de-stress, making me less anxious therefore in turn will enjoy my night more. I too have missed out on so much over the past year and have avoided lots of outings with friends. It put strain on my friendships and also with my relationship with my boyfriend. Exercise is a great method to try. I'm not sure if they run these classes where you are, but i joined a Zumba class a few months back and it makes you feel great! Your mind is away from your troubles and is great for de-stressing. The main thing to tell yourself is that you can and will beat it. Although its hard and seems like theres no light at the end of the tunnel but there is and we will all get there :) x
Thanks guys!
Exercise is something I've always done so I will be keeping that up definitely. I'm downloading relaxing music as we speak, excellent tip!!
I think this website is great for tips and advice - and when I absolutley had to google I would come here and type symptoms into the search to find that they were common anxiety symptoms. But actually posting here for support with symptoms is also reassurance seeking, in the same way that googling or checking yourself is. So I don't want to do that anymore either! Just for constructive support! Easier said than done...
That's a very positive post from you. Well done :) It is easier said than done and right now i can feel another panic coming on x
I'll join you. My current health scare has lasted 3 months. Yesterday it flared up again so today is my first day of concious 'no body checking'. It's hard at the moment but I'm also scared to look, yet if I'm scared I should check, right? Aaarrgghhh.
No, I've got to beat this. I get dressed and undressed in the dark so I can't check anything which I know is the opposite of what CBT says but at the moment I can't face exposing myself to my fears. I have to reach a sense of equilibrium first.
I also have not googled today. Two minor victories. :)
Forgot to add that after a lifetime of anxiety I am on meds. Week 4 of Sertraline. So far no effect-hope it kicks in soon.
Hi Karlyo..!!!
I'm with you girl..!! 100%.... come on everyone we can do this..!! We can support each other..!:) we can't let this beat us.. It ruins our lives.!! It's c***.!!!
I am doing what you suggested..NOT GOOGLING.!!! I come on here instead.. Helps sooooo much.!!
As for me in the last week I have had " bowel cancer, brain tumour, ovarian cancer and tonight's beauty.. Heart attack"...bloody marvelous..!! That's in one week..!!!! When I write it down it looks silly and I feel silly.!!
I AM going to get to grips with this..starting NOW.!!!!
Love and hugs to everyone tonight who maybe feeling panic about their health.
Xxx
Ahhh yay - people have joined (Hi Millie!!)
Hopefully we can use this thread to update on how we're getting on - anyone else please feel free to join. I think its good to have a nice positive post in amongst all the 'diseases' ones - hopefully if we keep updating it will stay near the top and other members will see it and want to join in.
I have been so involved in my HA I didnt even realise the rest of these forums existed - I've just been visiting the success stories board, and also the Tips, which is really useful and has some great ideas so recommend you all take a look!
I am now off to have a bath - with candles, and music! I actually feel a little better already :)
CarinaSnow89
07-12-10, 22:12
I definitely know how you feel. I'm brand new to "No More Panic" and I'm glad I've found such a place. I have anxiety and panic disorder with agoraphobia, and I'm slowly learning that I have... Health Anxiety. I used to think I was a hypochondriac but had such a hard time understanding how that could be because I know the things that ail me are not imaginary. Now I'm learning all this stuff and how so many other people have the same fears and problems as me. It helps to know your not alone or going crazy.
Lately I've become more and more obsessed with "something's wrong with me". I have a weird lump in my neck, behind my ear, and its not a lymph node. I went to the doctor and he seems to be so unconcerned with it. He basically told me if I start getting really sick (which I fear so much that it will by then be to late) then to worry about it. He gave me no definite answers and only told me to come back in a month for a check up. So now everyday I torture myself with thinking any day I'm going to start getting horribly sick... and die. Of course along with that comes the panic attacks and the anxiety which only cause more symptoms for me to freak out about. I just recently started going to counseling and I do have to say it helps, and so does being able to read the educational material on the forum. I'm slowly learning that most all of my symptoms come from the anxiety.
So KUDOS! I am going to beat this as well! It may take a long time and its not gonna be a walk in the park but I know I can do it and I have a feeling so can everyone else here!
I want ot be eat it.badly.And I thought I had.For a while.But I'ts starting again. And I don't have the energy anymore fo rit :(
Hi im with you we can help each other i also suffer from ocd as well as health anxiety so find the not checking bit very hard my fear at the moment is bowel cancer because i have ibs it makes my fear worse i have to stop checking down the toilet and the tissue for blood when i go to the toilet for number 2 tmi im trying so hard because its the checking thats feeding my anxiety because im convinced i can always see blood blood but i know if you look hard enough you will see whats not there also with lumps if you feel long enough you will feel something that you are going to have an anxiety attack about but will be completely normal so we have to stop the checking dont we x
I have checked twice today but that's nothing compared to what i used to do. My current fear is breast cancer*. A few months ago i got it into my head that my nipple hurt. From there it was a short health anxiety step to seeing discharge when i don't think there was any to constantly podding and proking the area until I had an infection. Of course the infection led me onto the other rare forms of breast cancer. A doctor has examined me, given me cream and examined me again later and said I'm fine. However, a chance remark when i got my meds reviewed the other day about reminding her to ask me if I had any other nipple problems has sent me into another HA panic because I think in my twisted mind she knows something I don't. Why are our brains so illogical?
I still tense my shoulders which of course sends pains into the breasts but I'm trying to relax.
I keep thinking of my stepdad who never worries about his health. Earlier this year he saw an osteopath who referred him for an x ray because his stomach was unnaturally bloated. It didn't phase him in the slightest and it turned out he was perfectly ok, nothing to worry about. Why can't I be more like him?
*This joins my other diseases I've 'had' over the years of Ovarian cancer, gallbladder problems, HIV etc. etc.
By the way, I am a little OCD as well, really intrusive thoughts about death, either me or my friend in general. Horrible. I know how you feel, and it is one is not it. I really hope that together we can beat this horrible thing!
westofengland
08-12-10, 20:24
yeah i have that book too! Good on you! Let's all try hard to keep off dr google and learn to let the anxiety pass by without compulsively acting on it
I'm so happy so many people replied - hurray!!
How is everyone getting on today?
I am doing pretty well, I have been in all day on my own revising and normally that would be a classic time for anxiety to build up. But I haven't googled and I haven't really noticed my current symptom very much - actually when I have thought about my anxiety the symptom begins to creep in, and then when I stop it tends to disappear a bit.
Anyone else managed to have a positive day? I do recommend that book for people just wanting to find out about positive thinking etc - it annoyed me there were so many typos in it though!!! :mad:
I'm with you! I'm already waiting for that book to arrive and also one more general one on CBT because I don't suffer so much with "classic" HA now (oh but I have done for the best part of the last 40 years) but now I'm hyper-vigilant and frequently in a state of panic over my children. This can't go on - it's affecting them indirectly when I get close to burning out on my fears and eventually I worry that it will affect them directly (if this hasn't already started) and I will put all the same fears, nonsense and unhelpful thinking into them :unsure:
janine
Hi karlyo im not doing to bad sorry about the tmi but as you may have read my fear at the moment is bowel cancer and checking the toilet for blood when ive used the toilet but ive been flushing without checking down the toilet its been really difficult because ive got ibs pain today which always makes me more anxious im currently reading IT NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD which im finding helpful thankyou karlyo for in viting us to join you in our determination to win our battle with health anxiety x
One check today so not doing bad. Trying to keep very busy but still got some intrusive thoughts. Also noticed I am walking around with my left shoulder hunched up again so trying to lower it. Still waiting for meds to kick in.
Omg that's amazing I'm so pleased I've just read this thread I'm sick of checking too I want to beat this so I'm in come we can surely beat ourselves can't we
I'm currently worried as I've poked n prodded n found lumpy bits at the top of my belly near my ribs I haven't googled tho but still scared
So how we going to beat it I'll try anything xx
Hi to the new people who have joined the thread!!
Well I have been following the tips in my book and I have had another good day - yay! I woke up this morning feeling anxious, I had an exam today so that probably didn't help, and my current pain in my lower tummy was there. It was there all morning and during the exam it went away as I was concentrating so hard on the questions - then it didn't really come back again!
So I will share some of the tips I have picked up from the book, which I think are helping me.
1) Dont google. Please dont do it - it is SO bad for us and really the worst thing we can do. If you're tempted, come here and put your symptoms in the search box. But even better - just tell yourself that googling is one of your 'safety' behaviours. And ask yourself 'does it make you feel safer and reassured?' Probably not, so don't do it.
2) The same with checking. If you have to check yourself, limit yourself to just once in the morning and evening. Tell yourself it is another of your safety behaviours and ask yourself if it makes you feel reassured? If not, don't do it.
3) When you feel a symptom or sensation creeping up on you, you will probably immediately do what is normal and think 'Oh no, what if I have *insert horrid disease here*. Instead, correct yourself, out loud if you are alone! Say 'Oh no, stupid health anxiety playing up again, how frustrating' and then think of something - anything - to distract you. Call a friend, read a book, watch tv - anything to take your mind off it.
4) Make time to relax everyday - have a bath, light some candles, put on some nice music, get a massage - just something to calm you down. And lots of deep breaths!
Okay that's it for now...I hope everyone is doing well. Please keep checking in and sharing tips!
K
I've book marked this. I NEED it! x
amandy1979
09-12-10, 20:51
Im with you too, would be great to beat this cycle once and for all, until i came on here i never realised their were so many people with exactly the same problem as me. Poking prodding checking worrying. Id like to evict the person in my head that keeps telling me i might have missed something and to check again..... lol.
Im a worrier (mainly cancer worries) from morning til night, my husband on the other hand has had 3 major life threatening experiences this year !! His words of advice for me and other worriers are "Worry about it when it happens", "Live your life", "If theres something wrong youll know about it, trust me".
I just wish some of his attitude would rub of on me ! As far as relaxing, i find reading is good, but light hearted humorous fun, nothing heavy, i recently threw out a book because a character had cancer. Crazy i know.
count me in. I am so determined to beat this "health anxiety". I cannot live my life worrying about things, I should be having fun instead.
I know it is not easy, but it's doable. My HA started in July, I just got back from the mall and then suddenly I can't breath, my heart was beating so fast, my hands were numb, I thought I was going to die, good thing my dad was home so I asked him to bring to the hospital. the doctor in ER gave me valium and he said it was just panic attack, but he recommended to see a GP for further examination. I made an appointment with the doctor then he misdiagnosed me of hyperthyroidism. What made him say that? I get palpitations, my hands are shaking, and I am skinny, so the doctor order for my TSH to get check. the result? it was slightly higher than normal and he concluded that I hyperthyroidism and gave me meds. stupid me, I googled the side effects and bam! it says there that I can die from it and it can damage my liver. Panic struck and few days after that I was admitted to the hospital, stayed there for 4 days. My doctor didn't explain to me why I was throwing up like mad and felt sick. It was the start of horrible experience with HA. I've been to emergency room 12 times due to panic attacks, which I thought I was having heart attack. I couldn't eat, I can't sleep, I lose weight, and I felt horrible most of the days..
I had echocardiogram, countless ecg, bloodwork, thyroid reuptake test, scan my thyroid, and it all came back normal. So my new doctor who is an endocrinologist said I am just stressed out and he explained to me why I am being like this and it is very typical symptom of a stressed person. And the reason why my TSH FT3 and FT4 were slightly high was because I am stressed out and the result was not significant. All I need is rest and relax. He told me that he had the same experience and it was terrible, so he understands what I am going through. For the past months since it happened, my relatives noticed a big change in me I started to eat again, laugh, and I don't look horrible anymore. Anxiety about my heart is still there, but I know one of these days I'll be able to say I am anxiety free. So good luck to us!
Karlyo,
I beat health anxiety almost 2 years ago now. I'm not going to lie, though...the thoughts do creep up sometimes. I have learned to train myself not to let them come in, though. I started overcoming HA in January of '09. I got on paroxetine in June of '09 due to fatigue. It really turned my life around. But you really can beat it on your own!!
The things I did to help myself was #1...finding this site and stopped Googling!!! If I felt the need to ask about a symptom I would come on here and everyone would reassure me which made me feel SO much better! Almost everyone on here experiences anxiety so they know all the symptoms. It feels better to hear "I had that last week...then it went away. I'm sure its anxiety." I MEAN SO MUCH BETTER!!!
Also, I put my energy into coming on here and answering OTHER people's posts. Some evenings I found myself so engrossed in helping others that I completely forgot about my own problems/symptoms.
The only other ways I could describe the way I overcame HA is to tell you that ANY time that a negative thought came into my head, I pushed it right out. Anytime I felt that super intense urge to Google, I mentally slapped my wrist and told myself, "NO!!" I often compare it to quitting smoking (although I smoke to this day :winks:). It is such a mental battle with yourself. The same with checking my body, I just wouldn't let myself do it no matter how bad the urge. Whether it was wanting to check my throat with a flashlight or scanning my breasts for lumps. Don't let yourself do it! You are in control!
The worst bout of my anxiety occured between Thanksgiving and Christmas of '08. They were the absolute worst holidays of my life. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I had myself convinced that I was having a heart attack, stroke, allergic reaction...I swore my throat was closing up and that I felt pressure in my neck! My birthday also falls on December 29th. My family went out without me on my birthday because I was too anxious to go! On New Year's Eve, I sat on a barstool at our fire company and didn't talk to anyone all night. Even though it was just my immediate family! I vowed after that to NEVER have holidays like that EVER EVER again! I was so excited last year for Christmas '09..everything went so well! I enjoyed every moment of knowing what I had gone through the year before. I am also looking forward to this Christmas as well :) So try to have yourself and your family a wonderful holiday! It's a truly magical time of year :)
If any panic attacks come on, just try to distract yourself with the TV, a good book, or online games. Or anything else you enjoy that can take your mind off of things! I hope I don't sound all overly-confident or something. I'm just here to tell you that there IS hope!!! I promise you! I know what you are going through, we all do!
Sorry this got so long!!! I just started pouring out anything I could think of to help you! Good luck to you!! :hugs:
katielou80
10-12-10, 07:35
hi everyone!!!! this site is great! and has really helped me. I have suffered from health anxiety for 7 years, and its got worse and worse!. I have had everything from brain tumours, breast cancer, cervical cancer, kidney faliure...the list goes on. I have ruined my life, i am constantly checking my body for lumps etc. At the moment i am convinced that i have a heart problem, because i have been suffering from constant missed heart beats for like 3 months. i have been to the drs 5 times and he tells me that if i had a heart problem i would have more symptoms, and that these skipped beats are harmless, but im still completely freaking out and cant focus on anything else!! im a mess right now. i am too awaiting cbt. oh and also yesterday i thought i had bowel cancer !!...again!! health anxiety is so cruel, its like a disease. I keep thinking why would my dr tell me these missed beats are harmless, if they were, any normal person would accept that, but me??? NO!! lol. I keep waking up every morning thinking, right this is that day, that i no longer worry!!..i want to be like my friends and enjoy life! but i cant. My last 2 xmas's have been a blur, due to thinking that i had cancer, i thought that this year would be different, but no, im a wreck! I have lovely children and a partner and why am i feeling like this??? why me?? why us??? what is going on in my head to make me think like this??? and im scared with how i am going to cope as i grow older????!! omgosh!!!.........also for example, i went to my kids nativitys last week....i just sat thinking about these beats!!????not watching the kids atall, its all SO wrong! and life is passing my by....and fast!! I need CONSTANT reassurance from my friends and family, and they are SO fed up with me, they just dont understant! even my kids laugh! we can do this guys!! WE CAN!!! we only have one life....thets live it!!! xxxxxxx
Still doing ok. Brushed my hand against my upper chest last night and was sure I felt something so had a good old dig around and then the other side...the result? I have bones in my chest, well duh!!:D
When I had my last serious bout of HA (my marriage was breaking up, I had a new baby etc.) I read the Claire Weekes books. I would highly recommend them, she's non-judgemental and I think she suffered from anxiety herself so its like she's talking to a friend.
Hope you're all doing well today.
I would LOVE to join you! Ive only had HA for about 18 months now but its ruining my life and damn it feels longer than that! I want to enjoy my life again, I want to enjoy my kids and I want to be FREE!!
What is the name of the book your reading? Id love to read it myself!
Oh and as for the OCD comments... HA has a OCD component (like anorexia does) though you dont need to have full blown OCD to have HA (though it helps LOL... yeah you gotta laugh). So dont think its 'abnormal' or unusual to have compulsions, to want to check and to inadvertanly check... complusions are strong and hard to break and it can be done! (im stil working on the how, lol... agian you gotta laugh ir youll cry)...
So yeah, sorry dont mean to sound like a know it all... and i dont trust me.. But im trained in mental health (ohh the irony, and again lol or cry)... Plus I DONT have OCD but ive had both HA and anorexia when I was younger (I prefered the anna for the record)... Gotta love the genetic predisposition eh?
Hi everyone!
How is everybody getting on at the moment? I am still doing well - haven't googled since I began this thread, and only checked myself once or twice. I can honestly say Im almost symptom free :D It does creep up every now and then but I've been able to push it out of my head and get on with stuff.
Girlrock - thanks for the advice, so lovely of you!
Jaxynmija - I was reading Overcoming health anxiety (its on amazon for quite cheap) but I hear Claire Weekes books are good too.
Hope everyone else is doing well - please update!
Yes I want o beat it aswell what's the name of the book ?
No googling and only one check yesterday although I was convinced i had pains in my breasts and I'm still avoiding looking at them but i feel more positive about it all even though I'm not out of the woods yet.
Today my mother has a stomach ache so I'm obsessing on that a bit but keeping it under control.
hi all im feeling abit anxious ive got ibs pain today and already been to toilet twice im finding hard not too check for blood down toilet and tissue please give me some encouragement im frightened if i dont look im going to miss something and thats the end of me is anyone here able to use the toilet and not check after some encouragement needed i need to know its safe if i dont check down the toilet please help im trying so hard x
katielou80
12-12-10, 16:34
bronte!! i do the same, i have had blood before a few times, dr just say its piles!! i had a bit on friday!! have been so so scared since to look!! lol. what are we like xx
hi katielou80 my ive had blood too this is what has made my anxiety worse my doctor says not too look at all because its only feeding my anxiety and the bleeding is from internal piles but its so hard to sto checking x
Still trying to beat this. My mind is driving me crazy. I know I should not check but I do. Thursday I thought that I should check my underarm for lumps and of course I pressed too hard found something and then made myself sore checking. So sore in fact that the glands in my throat come up.
I must stop this semi self mutiliating, I've done it so many times. :(
This weekend I went out with friends and bareky noticed my breasts and then I come home today have a bath and instead of not looking like I have been doing I check my nipple that started this latest bout of HA and I think I see some white discharge. That nipple has been inverted for 11 years after breast feeding and has been given the all clear and my logical mind says that it's just trapped bath water or gunk thats got trapped in the inverted part and ,hell, I've been examined by a doctor twice and she would have noticed something but again HA has got the better of me. It's like I'm purposely looking out for things to worry me
westofengland
19-12-10, 17:34
relapses are natural so don't beat yourself up
what do you think is fuelling your HA? For me it's stress and worry that I have done something BAD in the past that will catch up with me. I think that goes back to childhood
Sounds to me like you, like me, are using reassurance seeking as you find the anxious feelings so hard to deal with. But reassurance seeking only makes it worse.
One thing I am trying to do is detach and OBSERVE my anxiety - "ah yes, am having another episode of HA, triggered by stress, probably" as opposed to desparately trying to 'squash' the anxiety by getting reassurance
I suspect I have got addicted to the temporary relief I got (sometimes) from reassurance seeking but it's a false relief
I had a pretty unsettled childhood, not abusive in any sense but unsettled. I lived with my grandparents so I was aware of death at early age and how it would impact on my young life. I nursed some family members through illnesses and above all I have always had over whelming anxiety about everything. I've learnt that bad things happen so while in the midst of contentment I'm looking for the other shoe to drop. Plus I'm a single parent too through divorce, one of the children has autism and i live in dread of dying and leaving them.
So, you see, I can intellectualise it all and I know where it stems from but I wish it didn't have this hold over me where all I can feel is raw fear.
Rosi, sorry you are having a bad time. Just wanted to say hang in there and keep trying. You are doing so well aready by reducing the checks. I have not been on here much because amazingly I am much better since starting this thread, I have no symptoms or anything...just keep going with it and you will get there too!
[QUOTE=karlyo;759487]I have been struggling with health anxiety for 5 years and always have a symptom of some sort that worries me. My biggest worries are female cancers, currently cervical/ovarian, and I have various ‘symptoms’ which could fit the profile for either. But I am desperate to change. (My auntie has just passed away from cancer and i used to worry alot about this "what if i get it etc" but now i just think if we carry on worrying 24/7 about all the what if i have this or that etc.. your not going to enjoy the life your having now... it sounds so easy to say as i also suffer with HA but i just think of it as this if am going to get an illnes i cant stop it like if its my time to die i cant stop it........ this does help me settle a little more but i stil have al the neg thinking in the back of my mind but who doesnt have neg thinking & thats all it is just thinking.....:D
I’m reading a book called ‘Overcoming health anxiety’ which has shown me that I am a classic case (i find the more we look up, read, watch etc about anxiety the worse u feel i have binned all books, work sheets etc... there really no good for you yes they have good info in but in the long run only you can overcome this!!
– I have the typical ‘safety’ behaviours such as googling symptoms, and self-checking (prodding, poking my body for lumps). (all us HA suffers do this... but WHY ?? as it usually makes us just worry more when your thinking of googling or anything to check out a sympton why not distract your mind with something else ie.. tidy round do the dishes etc... or if its that bad go to your docs get checked out just to rest your mind!
My short term goals are to stop googling, and stop checking myself. I also want to train myself not to worry constantly that I might be seriously ill.
(you need CBT to help change alal your negative thinking a new habit change try this - http://zenhabits.net/the-habit-change-cheatsheet-29-ways-to-successfully-ingrain-a-behavior/ )
am still having a bad time with my anxxiety but i no one day we will all get there in the end just think POSITIVE as postive thinking = positive lives am with you all the way we can do this together x
Back on course now, sort of. Googled last night but I was hitting all the same websites I hit last time and it just brought back how stupid this all is.
Also made appointment this morning to see doctor in January and carry on with anti-d's as I was considering stopping but know that after 6 weeks they really would not be working yet. Plus I'm on Sertraline and the weight loss is pleasing me (although I do panic a little at it like a typival HA sufferer).
I'm trying to push it to the back of my mind and reassure myself that something nasty would have been picked up by the doctor.
I do remember that when I have had severe HA before there came a point each time when I threw up my hands and just could not worry anymore and my brain sort of got bored with it.
*update!*
Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if all those who posted on this thread are still around, but I thought I would update. I haven't been on here for almost 2 months as things are still going well. I would not say I'm totally over it but I'm much better!
Things I no longer do....
1. Google! Not done this since I made the original post
2. Poke and prod myself looking for signs of something nasty. I realised that this always reveals something to obsess about and it's usually just a normal part of my body
3. Dwelling on specific diseases/illnesses for weeks on end
Overall the result has been so positive and I feel much happier. That is not to say I dont worry at all, but my behaviours are much reduced:
Usually, I have a fleeting thought about something which I'm then able to push aside. So for example a sharp headache might make me think 'I'm having a stroke' or struggling to get a deep breath might make me think 'heart attack' but I can now tell myself not to be so anxious and to relax and it soon passes. I also have the occasional flare up of worry about a repeat smear test I need in a couple of months due to an abnormal result but again, there isn't much I can do until I have that test done so I try not to think about it.
All in all I think that book I read helped me to see how much of a control health anxiety had over me, but also how much control I could get back by just stopping some of my behaviours.
Really pleased with how it's going! I hope everyone else is doing well, please do update too! x
That is so encouraging to read. I have recently reconnected with this forum - I had weaned myself off my meds as I thought that the time had come for me to go solo, and as I had not been having any major episodes for a long while. And now, 3 months in and suddenly good old HA rears it's head again.
I strongly suspect that the trigger is a lot of change in my life, and fear of the future. I got separated 18 months ago, and last year took some control and left a job with a boss who bordered on abusive. After 6 months off taking a well deserved break I am now going to start a new job, and I think this is stressing me out more than I had thought, with feelings of being trapped, inadequate, loss of confidence etc.
And of course suddenly symptoms I have are all cancer. So ridiculous to acknowledge even as I type this.
I have to conquer this as I know that I do not wish to live the rest of my life this way. The last week has passed in a blur due to stress over some routine blood tests (mildly elevated LFT and blood sugar). It is affecting everything, and I have to be able to concentrate and focus on building my new life.
I am going to jump on board - so encouraging to read that it CAN be done. I need the tools to deal with it "in the moment". I think your point about "self talk" is really important. I guess it may take 100 times on day one, 90 on day 2 and so on until eventually it diminishes. I find this HA exhausting and I can't even watch TV without thinking about the characters and how they are lucky they are healthy, don't have worries etc. It's ridiculous!
Thanks for this thread and I'd love to hear more success stories about conquering HA.
L
Hello,
God i so want to beat this. I have now been back on seroxat for 6 weeks and feeling better than the total wreck i was 6 weeks ago but still having the anxious feelings about what if. I do actually have many health problems for real, heart failure, diabetes, underactive thyriod, stomach ulcers and just before christmas last year i had a heart attack and then had stents put in DO I WORRY ABOUT ANY OF THESE DO I HELL. I have my old fave which i have had for nearly 30 years a fear that i have SYPHILIS of all things !!!! Why i worry about this i do not know so far i have been convinced i have had it 5 times in 20 years !!! . This time my boyfriend of 2 years had a really bad flu over a year ago I have convinced myself its secondary syphilis by googling the symptoms. I was on seroxat for 10 years after my last bout of "syphilis" and i can honestly say it saved my life, that and my gp who refused to do tests for it and said i didnt need them i didnt have it, of course i didnt and for 10 years i was great i even managed to cope with losing my patner very suddenly. I came off seroxat just before i had my heart attack believing i didnt need it WRONG !!! I had some complications after my op and then some probs with my boyfriend and kept thinking "what else can go wrong" so guess what, my mind looked and found my old fave SYPHILIS !!!! I do understand that that's the process your mind takes when your anxious, but believing it is another matter. However back to the good part and how i am helping myself, first of all i write a diary, I sing and its a daft song but it helps, its "my favourite things" by Julie Andrews. I also listen to positive talk tapes before i go to sleep. I also talk to myself positively tell myself all the things i have good in my life, even if i don't believe it it will stick, because your mind can only believe what you tell it . Hopefully with the meds and my own coping stuff i will be up and running again sorry this was so long but i think posting this has helped me too xxx take care everyone
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