HIV anxiety

[peter34uk]

Hi all, I mentioned this in another thread, but im sooooooo worried.

I been with my wife for 11 years and to be honest ive only ever had a couple one night stands, about 15 years ago. Both times using a condom

So i suppose my risk is low, but im still worried about it.

Im sitting here thinking what if the condoms split etc... could i catch HIV then?? (I dont think they split at all)

I later found out that both girls had slept there way through a basket ball team so to speak.

After 15 years would i know if im sick with it or not??

Any advice much appreciated.:weep:

[PokerFace]

If you were wearing a condom both times you don't have HIV. Think you would remember if the condom split too? If your unsure then that probably means it didn't cuz it would have caused you worry back then too. Everyone gets a bit panicky when a condom splits lol.

Only way you can put your mind 100% at rest is to take a test to be honest though, no one on here can diagnoise you with or without it if you get me! I think you're pretty safe from it though, from what you've said it doesn't sound like you've put yourself at risk. xx

[Mogwog]

Hi Peter

I replied on your other thread too. Really - there is no risk of HIV here. None.

I have to second what Pokerface said - you wore a condom both times and you would have known if it has split. You did not put yourself at risk - you are fine.

Hugs

Laura

[peter34uk]

Thanks guys. It's just imagining the consquences should it turn out bad.

I really appreciate your advice and help. Thank you very much.

Pete

[Mogwog]

Thats the worst part of health anxeity is you imagine yourself and others having to go through the worst possible scenario, but you are fine and so is your wife.

Laura.xx

[westofengland]

Dude i have been there! I have had 5 tests in the last 15 years.
Why you worried about it now? I BET it's because you've read somewhere in the news about many people in the UK have HIV without realising it.
I think you'd know if the condom split. And many people in the UK have lots of partners now but HIV is still pretty rare here. Not that this is an excuse to be reckless.
You have two choices
1) Accept you are suffering from health anxiety and get used to living with it, and uncertainty. Chances are you don't have it.
2) Phone up the Genito Urinary Medicine Clinic (GUM) at your hospital and go for a test. It's totally confidential (they don't tell your GP you've had it, you don't need to put it down on insurance forms) and they know in about five days.

Be prepared for the fact that when you know you are HIV negative, your health anxiety won't go away if you are prone to this problem. It will simply transfer on to other things, if you don't nip it in the bud. I wish I had when I had my HIV tests and they all came back negative. Sadly, it set off a spiral of worrying about other crap, some of which I can't get tested for. But it's a good lesson in living with uncertainty, which is key to recovery

[Drummer]

I will also second what has been said and I have done soo much research on this issue I could write a book..LOL..

Firstly you said 15 years ago... well mate you would be certainly ill by now if you were HIV+ the reason being that between 5 and 10 years tops you may be healthly, but as the longer you get down the 10 year past exposure you would CERTAINLY be having a bad time with your health to the point that you would be very very unwell.

Secondly the risk that you say you had is classed as low risk even if you was unprotected and the girl was KNOWN by you to be HIV+ the risk is counted at approx 1 in 2000 episodes of intercourse,

Thirdly if you decide to test make sure that when you do the test is a P24 antigen & antibody test ( this is the recommended UK testing plateform) this in your case will be 99.999999% accurate and conclusive after the test based on the information yiu have given. If you have had a possible risk after the ones you speak of as long as the event was later then 28 days post you can test with the same test with the same level of accurracy. If you have a autoimmune medical problem ie chemo, cancer drugs, lupas, ect you will need to test again at 12 weeks post event to be sure.

99% of all people will produce HIV antibodies between 6 and 8 weeks the test will cover you for the period up to when anttibodies for HIV are produced with the P24 antigen and then once the antibodies are produced ( if you were to be positive) after this period. The test will always be accuarate for you then onwards.

HIV is a real threat to all , but in saying that you have used condoms you need to have a risk of infection you have not had this by what you have said to us.

The upto date thinking on oral insertive or receptive sex is in the region of 1 in 20000 and some say it it is minsicule risk.

As siad be prepared to go through more HA if you do test and it will I am sure be negative on what you say your risk was. You may start to dis believe the test, think that it was a false reading, the lad tech was a trainee that did your test, they mixed your test up...... well this will be all a load a cobblers wont it ?

Oh .. as i mentioned it re false negative results on 4 th Generation P24/antibody test they dont get them... they may produce false positives if the perosn tests too soon as the P24 element is sensitive.. this actually happening is very rare and of course is although stressful can be easly tested out again.

I hope I have helped, if you need more help PM me

Drummer.

[westofengland]

Ha I knew all these stats too, Drummer, but my OCD still drove me to have lots of tests

I drove myself nuts over the window period thing too, as i got tested before the full 90 days (which you don't need to wait for if you have an antigen test too).

So for me the only closure was to get tested, but while, yeah, i know i am negative, it didn't cure my health anxiety!

Anyway, Peter, if you do get tested good luck but sounds like you in the clear

[Drummer]

Well said !! are you ok with it now or does it still rear its head a with worry over HIV?

Drummer

[peter34uk]

Cheers Drummer.

Im a bit better today but my wife wants us to do a full screening, which we are going to do.

I gotta be honest and say im kacking it but ill do it. Ill take ur advice and hope to god its a negative result!

Cheers all.

[pinkynicca]

ya 0% chance here, you would know in 15 years, not to mention you used protection, get your test results and breathe easy, enjoy your life ;)

[JaxynMija]

It will be fine! Youd know by now if you had HIV!

Let us know when you get the test results back! :)

[peter34uk]

Cheers all.

Am still mega nervous and frightened but gonna do the test next week so ill let you know!

[peter34uk]

Well, I spoke with a doctor at guys hospital today and they are wiling to do a rapid test so i get the results in 20mins...or at most, the same day!

Ill ring tomorrow to book the appointment.

My wife is also going for a full screen. tomorrow at another hospital, so it will be a week before she knows the results.

The magnitude of this is frightening though. It does go round my head to the point that ive convinced myself i have the thing, even though logic states probably not.

But there's always that 00000.1% in my mind that feels like 50% and it frightens me.

Im gonna have to brave it and do the test.

I hope and pray it comes out negative & ill celebrate like crazy if it does!!

[MoonlightFire]

Good luck for your test Pete, though from what you've told us it's EXTREMELY unlikely that you have anything to worry about especially considering you're worried about something that happened 15 years ago! I don't think it's very common to go past the 10 year mark with no symptoms! AND you have been very careful and used condoms so the risk must be miniscule.

If it's any help I know exactly how you feel. I went through the same thing a few months ago and eventually I drove myself so crazy that there was no alternative but to have a test. I had a rapid HIV test and got the result back in 60 seconds! It was negative!!! I'd got myself so worried because I'd had a few mouth infections in the past that are commonly seen in people with HIV. When I told my doc and the nurse at the clinic about that they didn't seem concerned. I know how scary it is...I ended up having a breakdown because of the anxiety but I am very confident that you will be fine. Take courage and remember that we are here for you. You'll be ok.

Moonlight xxx

[peter34uk]

ah cheers. To be honest Im now kinda feeling how could I have HIV but im so scared of the result being wrong.

My appointment is Monday & I hope I dont bottle it! My wife has had a full screening and her results are due next week.

So either way ill know next week weather i Have it. I cant imagine after 11 years that only one of us would have it!

But if I do it Monday I can relax about her results on Tues/Weds.

I just hope and pray im okay so thanks guys, I really appreciate your support!

[peter34uk]

Wife got her swabs back and they were clear.

So im left thinking, what has caused the adhesions on her fallopian tubes.

So im still terrified about the possibility of HIV. Its been 14 years since I had 2 one night stands.

Surely I would have been really ill by now??

Listen to Drummer I keep telling myself!!

[peter34uk]

okay all, off for my test...trains/weather permitting.

Absolutely bricking it inspite of what logic says...

Ill let you know if I make it!

[Anxious_gal]

hope you get the all the clear x
Can I ask why you waited so long to get tested? just it's such a simple and quick test.
I must admit that most people don't seem to go get regular STDs testing,there seems to be a lot of stigma about the whole thing which is a shame as STDs are so common and most can be treated by antibiotics but can have consequences if let untreated.

[peter34uk]

I left it so long as a) my doc many years ago said not to bother as he didnt think i had it & was worried it would stress me out. And b) Im terrified of the consequences of a positive result. Id rather live in ignorance hoping i dont have it.

But today I didnt even make it to the clinic. No trains cause of the weather. Gutted but I also had a sense of relief when I realised I didnt have to go through with it.

Is that sad or what!!

[Anxious_gal]

wow that was bad advice from your doctor :-(
Ignorance is bliss at times, I totally understand that.

by not goin you are basically "rewarded" with a sense of relief. it's quite natural.


So I guess you will be leaving it until after Christmas?

[peter34uk]

My wife had her's done last week at the hospital She gets the results today or tomorrow.

Ive an appointment to try again (Weather & trains permitting) tomorrow at 2.30pm

So i am gonna get it done. I want to enjoy christmas not spend it worrying.

Just keep trying to reassure myself of a good result!

[PokerFace]

Hope it all goes well if you manage to get in with all the snow. Got a feelin it's gonna be fine though! x