My boyfriend had an attack. Help!!!

[Confused2006]

Hola!

I decided to join this website so I could learn more about what happened to my boyfriend this weekend. He spent last week with his family. Basically doing everything for his sisters and the twins. One of his sisters was getting married on Friday afternoon. I joined him down south on Thursday evening. When I picked him up Thursday eveing he was already starting to break down but I was unaware of his condition so I though he was just being difficult. By the time we arrived at the wedding on Friday he was having a serious anxiety attack. I didnt know what was going on. He didnt want to be around all the people. He explained he was having an attack but I didnt understand the seriousness of it. I did the best I could to help calm him. Which I sat with him in the back corner with his back facing the crowd and he sat there staring out the window. His attack continued and then he became a little harsh with his words so I was frustrated. I told him we could leave. After meeting his dad and talking to him I found out all of his family has had attacks before. So we left. Went back to the hotel and there he curled up under the covers. He was so worried I would leave him but I would never want to because he is such a great man but to see him like this was hard. It was very difficult to deal with. So my question is what should I do in a situation like this? Should I take him away from it all when it happens and take him to where he is most comfortable? I just needs some advice from others who knows how this feels because I can't help him if I do not know how. I would appreciate any and all advice. Thank you in advance!

[wendy]

Hi

Firstly how caring of you to join up here, Im sure that just knowing you are so supportive will be a good help for him

For me when Im having an attack I like to be re-assured that this is just due to anxiety and will pass, Have you asked him how he likes to handle the situation?

Maybe would be worth him reading the info on this site as I found this re-assuring to know Im not alone,

Is he receiving medical help?

Good luck to you both

Wendy x

[tootyfruity]

hi,
i have found that the worst thing about having a panic attack is knowing that no-one else knows what you are going through, joining this site shows that you care a great deal and that is nice to know. i think everyone has different things that make them feel secure so talk to him about what his are so that when it happens again you know what to do to make him comfortable, other then that you just need to reassure him that you are there and that he will be alright,
best of luck

[Trev]

It will be a great comfort to him that you are helping him so much. Well done. :D

It would be useful if you could get him on here to at least read some posts. It can really help to know that others have been through similar. It gives you extra strength to get through it. Also education is critical in my opinion. Once you understand the mechanisms of what is happening it makes it easier to deal with.

Avoidance helps at the time as it may ease the panic but in the long run it's not the best way forward. It can lead to a narrowing of horizons and before you know it you end up unable to leave your house. this is not meant to shock you but just to let you know the downside of avoidance.

If you can get access to CBT that would be very useful. Education, relaxation, exercise, good diet and more education are good starting points.

I really found Claire Weekes book "Self Help For Your Nerves" very useful if you are coming at it from little or no knowledge.

All the best,
Trev :D

[weepinky]

Hi there

You are so kind and caring to your partner and this will make a big difference to his recovery, having someone to open up to and trust is very important when you are dealing with panic.

Do not worry that he became a little harsh with you, I find I have very little patience with others during panic but its just because I am having so much to deal with at that time (then have to deal with the guilt later!)

Has he spoken to the doctor about his condition? Also access to this site my help him understand his symptoms and deal with them better.

Good luck and take care

Pinky

[kaka]

It is hard for you being on the outside of someone you loves panic.
I must be putting my partner through hell with mine, but he has always supported me, just like you are doing and you cannot do any more than that.
Some suggestions - Most people I have read about including myself have 'something' that they think is going to happen whilst they have an attack, with me it is always that i am going mad, some people think they are having a heart attack. Why not ask him what he thinks will happen to him, then you can reassure him whilst he's panicing as my partner does me that i am not going mad, no one will take me away in a straight jacket!
Perhaps as someone else suggested, find some positive posts on this forum and get him to read them. Reading books about panic attacks really helped me, I have some good titles if you want them.
Good luck..

[Meg]

First Steps: First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)

Common Symptoms of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=symptoms)

Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety)

Links post: Links to posts about Common Problems (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7784)




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[sal]

Hi
I know this must be so hard for you and you have being a godsend to him and are there to support him. Let him find his feet and support in whatever he decides. It wont be easy for him but with your support you will both work through this.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".