Something else has happened, something very bad

[GirlAfraid23]

so, I was on my driving lesson today and it was my first one in the dark/at night. It was all going well until I was heading towards the end of my lesson and we approached a roundabout. I didnt turn right in time and started turning the wheel and crashed straight into another car. Nobody was hurt luckily but i was very shaken up. I now dont know what to do. I feel like a failure and as tho everything i do goes wrong. I am destined for an awful life. I cant find a job. Ive wasted 3 years at uni for nothing and now im too worried to carry on my driving lessons now.

[nomorepanic]

Ok take a deep breathe

You are ok and no-one was hurt. Accidents happen.

You say you are destined for an awful life but that is not true. Only you can change that but you can change it and try to turn it around and say "hey my life isn't great but I am going to make the most of it"

Can I ask why you can't find a job? What are you looking for?

3 years at Uni is NEVER wasted.

You will get back in that car and you will do it and you will learn from this but it will not set you back

You can do it ok?

[gaaron]

Firstly and mainly, you are not a failure. You've gone through Uni and loads of people from Uni can't find jobs (although I know that doesn't help).
If you were with a driving instructor, they should have anticipated the situation and made steps to avoid it. It is not your fault. x

[missy007]

Your are not a failure - it took my daughter 4 attempts to finally pass her test and she was trying to cope with college and getting earache from us about getting a part time job - on her last lesson before her 3rd attempt a dog ran out in front of her and that totally lost it for her - but she got there as you will just persevere an you will bet there :hugs:

[caz1625]

I so know how you feel. I did the same thing only I crashed on my 1st driving test!!! I swore I would never get back in a car again and I was so upset. But I did go back and I passed my test and that was 30 years ago and you know what....that was the only crash I have ever had. I haven't even had a wee bump :D
Don't beat yourself up about it............the main thing is that nobody was hurt.
Get back behind the wheel as quickly as possible. My instructor arrived the next day and wouldn't leave until I went back in the car with him. I hated him at the time and screamed and cried but it was the best thing he could have made me do.

Good Luck
xx

[Vixxy]

I crashed my car when I was first learning to drive when I was 17. It put me off driving and I didn't get behind the wheel again until I was 20. It's been 10 years now since I passed my test and I have never had an accident. You can do it :)

[Geoff2301]

I'd put that down as the instructors fault.... not yours........... they're the one that's technically "in charge" so just forget about it..... if they chose to take you out at a time/on a route that you weren't ready for, let them take responsibility.... not you!! Also, on the plus side...... you made it to near the end of the lesson so you got your money's worth!!

Geoff

[mandie]

Hi

You are not a failure and i agree with Geoff, i think the instructor has to take most of blame as they are the ones with the dual controls!

Please dont let it put you off. You can do it, it took me 4 attempts to pass my test! but i was determined not to give up.

mandie x

[GirlAfraid23]

Thanks guys for all the kind words etc.

I just receieved a text from my driving instructor saying her car cant be driven in and the damages will cost her £3,000/4,000. I feel sick thinking about it and I hate making problems for people.

I rang her up and she seemed really pissed off and annoyed on the phone. She said that the man who hit us is trying to make her pay for everything - damages etc. She also said it may end up in court so I will have to give evidence. This is really not what I need at the moment.

I can't stop feeling sick and each time I think of it my stomach drops. I'm too scared and embarrased to get back into the car with her again. I also don't want to drive again in case something worse happens.

What do you guys think about changing driving instructors maybe?
Just maybe telling her I'm gonna have abit of a break and starting off somewhere else.
I don't want to have a panic attack behind the wheel or anything. I just dont think I'm in the right state of mind at the moment.

[eternally optimistic]

Hi

Soz to hear about your prang, everyone else who has posted about this is right, your instructor is at fault.

The instructor is EXTREMELEY insensitive about telling you about the finer details of a possible court case, I am sure it will NOT come to that.

Before I read this bit, my thoughts were to suggest you go somewhere else.

Please, please, dont let this put you off driving.

Best wishes and good luck.

Dont worry, be happy.

[caz1625]

I would say find another instructor. She should not be telling you these details.......she is the one who is at fault and she knows it. She should have braked for you and then told you that you would have crashed if she hadn't stepped in. That is what she has dual controls for.
When I crashed on my test the examiner got into serious trouble as he should have used the brakes and abandoned the test. Your instructor knows she should have done that and in my opinion is transferring her guilt onto you.
You are not at fault for this she is...........she is the teacher and you are the pupil.
Go somewhere else and enjoy your driving.

xx

[Nigel]

Hi GirlAfraid,

I’m sorry to hear what happened on you last lesson :hugs:

I agree with what others have said though; that your instructor should’ve been in control of the situation and needs to take responsibility. Accidents happen. It’s a risk that goes with the job, and I think it’s very unprofessional to lay a ‘guilt trip’ on you like that.

Anyway, it’s not gonna cost her – even if the other driver is holding her responsible (which he might be entitled to). It will be sorted by her insurance company.

A lot of these cases are sorted between the insurance companies without going to court. Even if it does, as long as it’s a fairly obvious case you could probably just send in a written statement to be read out.

Best of luck with the driving, and don’t let this put you off. Maybe have a short break just to gather your thoughts and decide whether you’d feel more comfortable with a different instructor, or staying with this one.

Not retreating... just regrouping :winks:

Nigel

[Geoff2301]

Driving instructors pay larger insurance premiums to cover these sort of mishaps....... if she hasn't got adequate insurance, that's not your fault in the slightest. I've taken my 2 sons out on numerous driving lessons..... hit the kerb once and punctured the tyre!...... but if there had ever been any mishap.I certainly would not have blamed them..... as I said before, the instructor is in charge of the vehicle, they have dual controls and she was obviously not paying enough attention to what was going on!!
From what you said about the accident, it does sound like your vehicle was to blame so it is only fair your instructors insurance pays for all the damage to both vehicles. Insurance companies do not like going to court for small (although it seems large to you!!) claims and I very much doubt it will go to court...... anyway, a written statement from yourself will suffice I'm sure.
I really wouldn't have anything more to do with her than absolutely necessary........ carry on with the driving lessons with another instructor and just put the mishap behind you!!
What was it I read the other day?...... think it was 1 in every 3 new drivers completely write off their car in the first year!!......... so you're not alone in the slightest.... and you didn't even write it off!

Geoff