View Full Version : when is this all going to end..i cant take it
I cant take this anymore , i really cant.i cant stand the fear and the pain and the fact i may die,,, i cant stand any of it.
I havent been able to find anyone who has experienced the kinda of attacks that i get, i still get panic attacks, and of course i live with all sorts of nasty nasty symptoms day in and day out,,, but please if you have experinced any of the following symtoms i am about to type,or has experinced what i have been please tell me.
i get certain attacks that come of either sudden,which is mostly or build up.
SYMPTOMS
Sudden confusion
Extreme aggitated
Paranoid with extreme fear
Cant understand what people are saying
Cant answer people
Cant speak
Cant think
Everyone is going slow in motion(and speaking in slow motion 2)
Very Blurry eyesight
Feeling of being paralized
Extreme tiredness
I cant get my head around these kindof attacks and i cant except that they are anxiety,i know i am suffering more a nervous breakdown, but can this happen...oh please someone help me here ... because i have never been so scared in all my life.
I keep thinking. that maybe because i get these eptopic beats ,maybe that is causing me some kind of eplepsy/or/lackof oxogen to the brain,maybe its a mini stroke,or a tumour.
But whatever it is im scared ,i guess i must get around 3 maybe 4 attacks like this a week, besides all the other symtoms i get,but these attacks last say 20/30 mins but after that i am in a complete state of fear and sit there dazed, cant listen to loud nosies or people talking,its awful and i cant take it...if this is my life ,,, then wots it all about.
I want so much to get better for my children,so why?
The eptopic beats i get are so hard and nasty and every time i get one,it gives me a headache and a strange sensation in my head.
no one will message me here, because guess what i doubt there is anyone getting the symtoms i am getting,
I want my life back its not happening...so what can i do.. i have no answers..
ashleyx
hi ash you poor thing
it sounds like these are realy getting you down huh.
i would go to your doctor in the morning and write all these things that are going on and ask him to tell you why or tell him to get some tests done to put your mind at rest .
i do get extreme aggitation
paranoid with fear all the time
extreem tiredness
andEPTOPIC heart beats as you know
i hope you can get some help at the doc,s
jodie xx
I have told my doctor about these and he wrote them down and posted the notes of to the hospital,so when i go see the heart specialist he has me notes to go by.
But i have to wait for the hospital appointment,which could be ages,and i could be dead by then.
If anything happens to me, all my family and friends as much as i love them will be so shocked and sorry i tell ya.
I fu****g want out ,,,,,,NOW
ash
ash calm down hun i know easier said then done but look at the advice u give others and the reasurance does work why dont you try listen to urself for a change because only u can help YOU get out of this, uve been like this ages just like the rest of us why now will something be wrong
please ash ur family wont be left behind because YOU MY FRIEND AINT GOING ANYWHERE IF U CAN TELL ME I AINT THEN UR STAYING WITH ME
chin uo chicken
tomorrow is not far away xx
Oi katy you little joker he he he
Thanx jodie and katy thats sweet i know, but i have had enuff sweethearts its true,in what i say .what you two are experincing is extreme anxiety/panic and i meant every word that i ever said to you both and all others that have anxiety,and ive posted
I belive that once i did have that,now.. now its something different with me,, i dont belong on this site anymore do i-no one has experienced my symtoms come on now, have they..maybe a few of them ...but not these wierd attacks i have been getting,,,so thats why i say ive not got anxiety ..no im going to fu***g die.
I must sound terrible in whAt ive written ,MAYBE IT DONT SOUND TOO RIGHT,BUT IM SCARED AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
im sorry
ash x
I understand every word you wrote. I have suffered like you for 10 years and for 9 of them I could not believe it was just anxiety and panic, but I have read so many books now it was a real relief to know I was'nt dying it really did help take some of the fear away. I have been in the doctors begging for my blood pressure to be took so that I could be reassured that I was ok. She refused because she said it would be high and that would freak me even more. Some times an attack would come and it would be totally different to one in the past, your fear is just feeding the attacks now but you will get past it, I did. they have not gone away yet, but with counselling I can now recognise why they are happening and what is happening. So most of the time the intensity is not as bad. My problem is I don't feel any emotions, when I finally do I can then cry and the tension runs out of me. I have to recognise what I am feeling at the time and deal with it. When the panic starts to rise just say out loud this is only and panic attack or I am feeling anxious. It breaks the pressure just enought to get on top of it. sometimes it builds with out recognition this is when we loose control. Once you begin to accept that you are not ill it will become easier.
I also read on the internet about people been wrongly diagnosed with epilepsy when in fact it was panic attacks.
How many times have you thought you where about to die? but you are still here! I know its hard but one day you will feel better. Try and recognise when you are over breathing, and calm it before it gets out of hand. Also tell your self you are not ill, I know its hard. Wake up every morning and say I am strong I am not ill and I will not be beaten by panic!
maxine
maxine thats real nice of you thanx for that. I just find it so hard to except the kind of attacks that i have been getting latley,it is totally freaking me out more so than a panic attack, i tell you---i would rather have a panic attack to be honest than this ya know.
when will this all end im so dam weak of it.
ash xxxx
Read everything you can on the subject, that has really helped me. Another thing I do is write about my attack as it happens it really does help. write your symptoms down every day, read through them in good moments and remind yourself that you suffer anxiety not a dreaded illness. We are all strong and resillient, unbelieveably so. I also know its alright saying all this but in the moment it happens it don't mean a damn thing. My mum also suffered and she is ok now so that gives me hope. Just be determined I sure am.
Maxine
I have read over the years about anxiety, as much as possible too, evrery single piece of information and of course i think that is a masif masif help...and it did help me until this time round , when i have got eptopic beats and those wicked symptoms that i wrote in this post... i havnt been able to find anyone yet that is expericing the same as me, yes well the eptopics and some they may be able to relate to,,, but not the rest.. to me its eplepsy or a tumour ... because why hasnt anyone had these symptoms.
Do you know i cant even sit there and read anything too heavy,like anything to do with numbers as it confuses me too much,and i just cant concentrate... it ant right mate i tell ya...im losing anything that was good about me,cant even read a mag, by the time ive reached the bottem of the page i have to read it again, by the time ive finsished i have had to read it over and over before i have actually got it in my head.
Also i get a buzz constamtly in my head and when i stand up, i get a bang bang bang and then after a few seconds its gone, i have had those two things since last year and then my anxiety was quiet.
mad mate, total head f**k
ashx
Hi Ash
I took jake to school this morning and then during the drive home was thinking I was seeing things, became confused, then my left arm went totally dead, S**t I though a stroke or heart attack, so rushed home then thought how come when everyone else has a heart attack or stroke it is on the spot but I manage to convince myself I am dying, Insane, on a different planet all in one go and still make it home then manage to google my symptoms?
Because it is anxiety not any of these illnesses and this is the same with you, we are able to think about and right down these symptoms which shows an active brain (maybe too active!!), if we were dying we would of been long gone by now! I know how hard it is but sit yourself down and tell yourself it is anxiety then next time I have a "do" you can tell the same to me!!
I promise you have had all of your symtpoms, you are strong and can fight this!!
Take Care
Wendy xxxx
Hi Ash
All those symptoms your having are anxiety and the ectopics are part of it, i did go to the docs about my ectopics and it is part of anxiety also caffeine can cause ectopics too it stimulates the heart Do you drink coffee or tea? even soft drinks can cause it.
Try not to worry to much hun it will get better in time alot of the sypmtoms you are having i had when i first got my anxiety thought it would never go but it did and i've had only mild blips but only lasted a couple of days.
Try and make yourself busy if you can to get your mind of it the more you think about it the worse it will be thats what i try and do, try and be strong for your kids they need their mom i had to be strong for my kids even though i had my husband there.
YOU WILL GET BETTER IT WANT LAST FOR EVER!!!!!!!
Sending you a ((((( BIG HUG)))))))
Take Care
Linda xx
i get the spacy head filling alot and it scares the crap out of me but after test after test nothing but i finlly have been dx everyone with axiety should be checked for mvp check out these sypmtoms that mvp causes and it doesnt kill you are harm you http://www.mitralvalveprolapse.com/INDEX.htm.htm
Ashley, I did get like you and I'm sure many of us on here did. So you know I had :
Constant dizziness, and I mean constant, for months.
Constant chest pains for months.
Pains and tingling down left arm.
Total confusion.
Unable to feed myself. Friends came around with food.
Loss of apetite. I couldn't eat even when people did cook.
At my worst, I couldn't work out how to make a cup of tea!
Intense reaction to what I thought were loud noises.
Chest spasms that were so bad I couldn't believe that it wasn't something worse.
Unable to hold a conversation with people because I couldn't understand what was going on.
Constant tiredness but unable to sleep.
Ectopics.
Closing throat that felt like I was being strangled but came up from my chest so scared the hell out of me.
Unable to watch TV.
Unable to cope with the slightest bad news or sight.
The point is that it was ME that wound myself up into this state. You become so sensitive to everything that the slightest thing sends you off even worse than before.
I found exercise to be a good start. Walk every day outside and build it up.
I'd strongly suggest you either get a copy of Meg's CD course or Claire Weekes audio tape and listen to them. I found listening alot easier and you can start to nmake sense of it all and unravel the spiral YOU are creating by your own thoughts. All of your symptoms are those of extreme anxiety.
Relaxation should be tried. I know it's difficult to relax in this state but it does help to try.
Exercise, good diet, relaxation and education are the key factors. I took a good strength multivitamin as well as soon as I could.
Are you still taking beta blockers?
YOUR THOUGHTS ARE THE KEY THOUGH
example :
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I keep thinking. that maybe because i get these eptopic beats ,maybe that is causing me some kind of eplepsy/or/lackof oxogen to the brain,maybe its a mini stroke,or a tumour.</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
This would scare the you know what out of anyone.
TRY and start to change things and don't expect it to change overnight. It will take some time but YOU have to start somewhere.
All the best,
Trev
Ash, every time i read one of these posts from you a lump comes to my throat cos I honestly get ALL the stuff you do. Sometimes (and it always seems to be when I'm with other people or out) I feel like someone has stuffed my ears and head full of cotton wool. The lack of concentration and inability to compute information is classic of someone feeling depressed and exhausted with all this cr**. You are feeling extreme depersonalisation and derealisation- that's what all those symptoms point to. And DO check out Forrest's link. Omigod!!! I identified so much with it.
Forrest is this a proven illness? Do all doctors believe it exists? It does ring a lot of bells in me.
Shiv x
I do not suffer from panic attacks as such but my husband used to suffer terribly and all the symptoms you have described are what he went through. So try to be reassured that it is just anxiety and you will get through it.
Take care
You guys are all so lovley tome, and i am glad that i have found this site--- as you all seem to care so much and yes of course ,its because we all understand the way we each feel...many thanks to LT, Shiv, Wendy, forrest, Trev(trev my man-you always come through for m)lin, maxine, katy and jodie and all others that posted for me.
Its tuff man,so tuff and so dam frightening isnt it allof this, but if i do get through this and to the other side i have now decided to go back to college and do a degree in mental health,i have had 15 years of this and i tell you i could give so much.
There should be moreof us out there, helping people cope through this disabling times,its so cruel and twisted-
i really so love you ,you have made me feel better... hope it lasts..---no let me say that again...
i shall simply say i feel better x
ashley x
yes it can be very tuff i lost my hole summer last year because of it i went in for a regular doc visit and they did some labs and they found one thing out of wack in my liver blood tests so i got on the net looking up reasons why and then everything went down hill at first i thought i had hep-a--b-c are hiv they can back fine then i thought my gallbladder was bad that came out fine then i thought it has to be my liver iam dieing of endstage liver dease all test for that have been coming out fine same with endoscopy colonoscopy hidascans ultrasounds etc and alot of labs i was a human pin cushin seen alot of doc since last may and nothing they found out i have ibs with axiety that has caused my bowell problems i have seen skin docs nero docs gi docs and 12 er docs all since may thats how bad mine got the bad worry i had over my liver and trying to get a biopys of my liver and docs would say nope after nope and telling me my liver is fine i even had all kinds of heart test done and ultrasounds of my legs as well because of the bad cramping i was getting with my skipping heart beat but it really was just a double beat from my mvp that i have gotten from my mother..
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