Suicidal thoughts all week-end [Archive]

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geejaybee

13-12-10, 09:03

I am seriously worried I am going to harm to myself. The anxiety is unbearable, I haven't slept more than 3-4 hours in anight for over 6 months and I have been unable to stick to any drugs because they either dont work or make me feel worse.
A couple of weeks ago I was changed from Mirtazapine and Olanzapine to Duloxetine (Cymbalta). I stopped the mirt and olanz but read up on the cymbalta and was so scared that I didn't start. Now I am worse than ever , I think I am having withdrawal/discontinuation effects and have started to think hard about killing myself. This week-end has been a nightmare and I am really on the brink.
My psych has gone on maternity leave and when I phoned the emergency no I was fobbed off by a nurse and couldn't even get to speak to a doctor let alone see one.
I know its my fault for messing around with my meds but I feel abandoned by the medical professionals and dont know how much longer I can struggle through.

blueangel

13-12-10, 09:07

If you're having serious thoughts about harming yourself, you must go and see a doctor as soon as possible. If you can't get to see a psychiatrist, go and see your GP as soon as possible, as he/she should be able to get you an emergency referral.

Let us know how you get on.

Vixxy

13-12-10, 09:08

Go and see a regular GP and tell them you need an emergancy appointment. The sooner you get some help the sooner you can start to get on the mend.
The side effects from all AD's do seem horrendous, but the end goal usually justifies it. You need to ask yourself if how you are feeling now would be worse than any of the side effects on the pills. Then re think your decision about the meds.

geejaybee

13-12-10, 10:28

Thank you both so much. I have just managed to see my Psychiatric nurse as I was scheduled for a cbt session. He just re-inforced what you have said. i.e take the Duloxetine and see how it goes, so I have come straight home and taken it (60mg). I know its ridiclous but I feel such a failure when I resort to medication and I am truly scared of starting this drug because my experience of SSRI drugs (citalopram, paroxetine and Prozac) have all been that they raised my anxiety through the roof.
They are going to ring me to check every couple of days for the next week or so to make sure I am OK and tolerating the duloxetine so thats somewhat re-assuring.

JaneC

13-12-10, 10:34

Hi gjb, glad you have managed to get some help. I changed my meds last year and it was pretty awful. For a while I wished I'd left it alone even tho the old ones weren't really working - but it was worth it in the end. It's good you have some support - and NMP is always here as well. Good luck xx

PUGLETMUM

13-12-10, 10:38

geejaybee

13-12-10, 11:12

:)hi, it is horrible how we are left to just deal with all of this ourselves -its like it isnt taken seriously at all - you can go to a&e if you are feeling that bad -i hope the med starts to help, do you have any support?

Yes, my wife is simply wonderful. She has been a great support and has accompanied me to both the GP and the Psychiatrist.
The only problem is that my sleep is so disturbed that I am in and out of bed and tossing and turning all night so this is affecting her sleep/rest. I am thinking of moving to a seperate bedroom until I get a little better just so she can get a proper night's sleep.

Vixxy

13-12-10, 16:11

I'm glad you got to see someone today. My advice is to take it easy on yourself. You've taken a MASSIVE step by taking those pills and you need to focus on the possible light at the end of the tunnel and not the possible anxiety they might cause. You never know, these meds might make you so much better :)
Grab yourself a load of DVDs and veg out for a few days, just be kind to yourself. You deserve it :)